With Some Grace

So there was this one time on Facebook I entered a random competition for movie premiere tickets to Bridget Jones’ Baby…and won!

Who doesn’t love Bridget??!!!

She’s clumsy, messy, imperfect and I instantly loved her 15 years ago when she first came into my own messy, heartbroken, forever fatalistic and a spinster life.

It was a little cheeky that I didn’t think twice it was happening on Father’s Day. I didn’t even feel guilty bringing my bestie as my plus one (Sorry, Mr Surfer).

Husbands are long suffering but when it comes to losing oneself in reenacting the ‘All By Myself’ lounge room scene, your bestie will steadfastly stand by you. Dying of embarrassment, no less.

Yeah, okay…I probably got carried away but some video editor liked the cray cray…(’Look mum, I’m on camera!’) so, yeah…“GO BRIDGET!”

I laughed, I cried. Full of emotion, B and I even held hands in the dark. (Yes, in the totally creepy way).

Forever #TeamDarcy, the popcorn and champagne may – I said may – have caused me to flip sides to #TeamMcDreamy. Just for a split moment.

Sure, I’m no longer by myself. I found my Mr Darcy but I am fell in love with this movie. I’ll definitely see it again…even if it’s all by myself.

Are you a Bridget Jones fan? On #TeamDarcy? Who will you take to see it?

I’ve decided lately to start looking out for and heeding to signs. Sorry to throw the general random at you but allow me to explain.

A couple of weeks ago, my old boss sent a text saying there was a part time Sales Admin position opening up, would I be interested? Straight-forward desk job with mundane yet critical to the business responsibilities.

No chance to work from home, though.

Four hours a day, the job could be done while lying on a bed of nails. Why say no to relaxing acupuncture?

Yet, it was four hours that would eat into creative projects. Not only would it steal time but also my mental and emotional capacity.

And before making a decision to take the job, I had to think about what was I feared the most:

1. Failing at becoming a writer
2. Surrendering to the corporate world because that was easier than dealing with the fear of failing as a writer

Sense the fear? Not much sleep was happening that week.

Sydney’s Fringe Comedy Festival has started and to show my support (totes complete with solo fangirl Mexican wave), I went to see my comedian friend, Jennifer Wong’s show, “Feel the Fear and Fear It Anyway”

I wasn’t going to go but then I thought about my lookout for signs. They don’t provide any straight-up  answers but there’s the possibility of seeing things in a different perspective.

If Jen could talk about fear through comedy, I needed to hear about it.

So there we were in a shipping container cum stand up comedy venue with a stage and spotlights. Things were a little tight and claustrophobic in there but that all became peripheral once Jen came on stage.

Her accounts were raw and honest. I actually hadn’t known that side to her which reminded me of that great quote:

There’s a kind of bizarre comfort knowing that you’re not the only one. Ultimately when it comes to the roller coaster that be fear, we’re all just trying to hang on. Get through to the other side.

I turned down the job and last week started a creative writing course. Wish me luck. Or show me a sign.

Do you look out for signs? Been on the roller coaster lately? Fan of stand up comedy?

 

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

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Waking up on the morning of my 45^th birthday, I wasn’t sure what to feel. Do I celebrate? Commiserate? Do I look back with regret in what I haven’t yet achieved? Do I look forward in fear with the thought of growing even older?

Then my boys jumped into bed with us and it was time up for deep morbid thoughts.

The day was pretty much like any other, except perhaps for the steady flow of awesome birthday messages on Facebook.

There are a few topics my husband and I light heartedly disagree and one is the authenticity of Facebook friends.

“How sincere is a short birthday message on Facebook?” he argues.

“Why assume that it’s nothing short of sincerity? They don’t have to send anything, if they don’t want ” is my comeback.

We happily agree to disagree.

I headed to the gym where I was greeted with lots of well wishes from the personal trainers and other clients. My PT even pumped up Stevie Wonder’s “Happy Birthday” to get into the festive spirit (and yet, to torture me again).

And because I could easily be the same age of most of these trainer’s mothers, there’s this inner desire to prove myself.

In the midst of high energy punching, boxing and kicking, my sweaty face looked up at my trainer and between hurried breaths, I muttered:

“45 and badass”

So that’s how I’m approaching my 45^th year on this earth, with uncompromising and relentless baddassery.

Like most women, I am not one that comes to the mid 40’s table without my fair share of battle scars, remnants of relationship breakdowns and struggles with letting shit go.

I’ve been completely broke – financially and emotionally -in a foreign country and still somehow managed to survive.

Despite all the health scares and the high risks throughout, my body made it through giving birth to two lives.

All those Facebook messages are the makeup of who I am today. Each person who took their time (no matter how brief, no matter how convenient Facebook makes it) to just congratulate me for another year, all hold some significance in my journey to get to the badass I am today.

And for that I am grateful. And for that I say, “45? Bring it”

Tell me, what makes you badass?

 

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

Lethargy and I have been getting a little too familiar with each other over the past few weeks.

Despite the early bedtimes, mornings were met with gritty eyes and a fog-filled, heavy head.

Maybe it was just a case of SADs.

Needless to say, I was dreading my post operation appointment on Monday morning.

Another one of those things dealt with apprehension and worry for a woman about to hit her 40’s right smack bang in the middle (Next Wednesday to be exact).

In the end, it all went well. My doctor gave me a copy of the images she took during the operation. Apparently, I had multiple polyps. Fortunately, all benign.

Even though I knew exactly what the procedure was going to entail, it’s still freaky knowing there was a camera in my uterus, which incidentally looks like the ninth undiscovered planet of the solar system.

Polyps have a tendency to reappear so if things don’t feel right down there over the next three to six months, I’ll need to return.

Everything was pretty much covered over a brief 15 minutes.

I walked out emotional and teary. Mortality had slapped me hard, bent me into shape.

It would’ve been easy to just give a sigh of relief and simply go about my hectic day.

Instead, I used my “All Clear” ticket to celebrate. Really be grateful for an awesome doctor who encouraged me to get proactive in giving myself a better quality of life.

There was a two hour window where I didn’t have to be anywhere, do anything.

The cinema was right across the road from the doctor’s office and “Absolutely Fabulous” was showing in 30 minutes.

I am terrible at grabbing spontaneous opportunities, only to later complain how I never have any time for myself.

That morning, I decided to make a change.

Buying a bucket of popcorn bigger than my face and a sneaky glass of wine (Licensed cinemas for the win!), I took solace in the cinema darkness.

I celebrated my life in perfect solitude. Pass the Bolly, darling.

Do you grab those rare opportunities of solitude? Seen “Absolutely Fabulous” yet? What are you celebrating this week?

 

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

Never been one to watch the Olympics, this year I seem to be planted on the couch and watching until Mr Surfer has to wake me up and scoot me off to bed.

For the majority though, we’ve been glued to the telly because:

1. there is little else on
2. I’m still in mourning after my binge watch of Weeds on Netflix

Maybe I’m watching the wrong events and all out of whack with time zones. I can’t say anything has truly inspire me.

And isn’t it what we at least searching and cheering for? Athletes who through adversity and challenges, reach their ultimate goal.

The insanely early morning training sessions, painful injuries, hard rock calluses…what was it all for?

We all like to be reminded that determination, dedication and tenacity is never for naught.

Instead, hubby and I were confused by the Judo, deciding the rules were too complicated. We couldn’t figure out how the moves differed from our boys play fighting in the lounge room after watching Kung Fu Panda 3. 

Hai-yaaaah! WA-chaaaa!

(My boys are actually taking Taekwondo.  Same, same but different…ahems)

Then, I had a peek at the medal tally and wondering how my birth country was doing, there it was:

Indonesia’s first medal at Rio Olympics was a silver…in WOMEN’s weightlifting.

Total bad ass.

Sri Wahyuni Agustini is a pocket rocket weighing at 48 kgs and 150 cms tall but lifted a total of 192 kgs.

Inspiration, found you!

Can you believe that the London 2012 Olympics was the first where every participating country included female athletes? Also the first Olympics were women competed in all programs.

Just four years ago.

And to think, the weight division that Agustini won her silver was only introduced in the Sydney 2000 Olympics. She would’ve been five.  Hopefully she’s setting the path for other Indonesian girls. Represent.

Who run this motha?

Have you been watching the Olympics? Any inspiring moments? Can someone explain Judo to me?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

It’s that time of year where I struggle. Despite being well and truly half way through it but nowhere near the end.

‘I’m over it’ is my general response these days to ‘How are you?’

Too bad if you were hoping for less honesty.

Barely in our third week of term, my little boy asked me how many days left until holidays. Man, did he have a tornado when I told him 35.

The meltdown happened all over again when five minutes later he also asked his teacher.

Sorry, kid. THIRTY-FIVE it is. Nothing more and definitely nothing less.

The weather is wild and woolly. The lack of light and the freezing temperatures are affecting my moods and a case of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) has kicked in.

It doesn’t help that there is so much tragedy and sadness going on in the world right now.

Forming in 2002, the Soweto Gospel Choir are currently touring Australia for the third time. I thought I was going to miss out again but then there was this gorgeous version of the Play School theme:

I immediately bought tickets for the Sydney Opera House concert.

And wow. Best medicine to kill the SADs.

The powerful voices, the joyful dancing, the vibrant colours immediately warmed my heart, reassuring it that there is still good in the world.

The concert hall was jam packed with an audience from all walks of life who just wanted to be uplifted, proving you don’t need to be religious to enjoy gospel music.

Despite winning Grammys, performing for Oprah, Nelson Mandela and singing along with stars like Bono and Celine Dion, these guys seem to never forget their roots or the people who need them.

At the end of the concert, choir members were collecting donations for African AIDS charities.

I can’t remember the last time I left a musical performance where there was so many genuine smiles, hugs and kindness.

Life can be so dark, full of struggles and pain. Sometimes it takes extra effort to search for the music and colour. But when found, cling onto it. Rejoice in it.

Ever heard of the Soweto Gospel Choir? Ever had a case of the SADs? What are some of your remedies?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

This is a little belated but I want to say a big thanks for all the well wishes from my day surgery a couple of weeks ago.

I had delayed my hysteroscopy polypectomy (Try saying that 10 times real quick) for almost a year.

Despite being told it was a routine procedure and my polyps were indeed benign, I was terrified.

Never having been under general anesthesia, the thought of forced unconsciousness was too much.

Even when my husband told me that going under guaranteed him of the best sleep ever…I just couldn’t bring myself to go there.

Yet, I was dealing with a very persistent and luckily for me, understanding obgyn who kept following up.

“Grace, gotta get it done. Grace, we’ll have to shred your consent form if you don’t book in within the next three months”

Ugh.

Now it’s done, it was like ripping off a band aid except it wasn’t.

What I did discover was:

• Day surgery is just like a busy cafe. You check in at the admissions desk then given a blue pager device – just like the ones you get after placing a food order. But instead of getting a big bowl of nachos with extra cheese, you’re sent to the patient lounge for more uncomfortable waiting.

• No matter how cool they were in the 80’s, orange floor socks have no place in 2016.

• Disposable undies have no front or back. They sit weird at any angle.

• When it’s time to go under, anaesthetists administer what they fondly call “IV Champagne”.

• Anything with the word ‘champagne’ calms me right the feck down.

• Within three seconds of having said IV Champagne injected, being told to ‘shuffle over’ from the hospital gurney to the operating table is harder than any half marathon I’ve EVER done.

• That sometime during the procedure my cha-cha down there somehow managed to get a nice little trim.

The procedure happened on a Friday afternoon so luckily I had the weekend to get over the wooziness.

And since then, I’ve spoken to a couple of ladies who have also been delaying certain procedures for lady parts.

All I can say is, I totes get it. Because it’s not an urgent situ, it’s so easy to keep holding it off.

Just don’t be a dumb ass wuss like me who was scared but then had it unnecessarily fester in my head for almost a year.

Get it done. Then you can be done with it.

Have you gone under? Was it the best sleep you’ve ever had? How weird are disposable undies?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

In light of recent events and comments, I felt compelled to write about my thoughts and experiences of racism and bigotry.

But guess what? I’m tired.

I wanted to give a detailed recollection of the fear in my mother’s voice when she called me in Japan 20 years ago, gravely telling me that there was a “Hanson lady” who wanted to kick her, our family and other Asians out of Australia.

But I’m tired.

There’s my deep concern that 20 years later, there’s an even stronger message of exclusion and hate.

That concern is followed by rage. Anger that we have to deal with the ill informed and narrow-mindedness all over again.

But then, I just get tired.

Waleed Aly made a great point on The Project the other night.

We need to stop being destructive with our comments and start being constructive. It’s not to undermine the seriousness of the issue. Neither did I feel his message came from a place of privilege or happy la-la-land.

What was said on a morning show three days ago will fade away like any other internet storm.

But as we all know, hate just feeds hate.

Those who have been victims of racism and bigotry have had to deal with it for far longer than an internet storm.

Don’t know about Waleed but for me it’s been over 40 years.

But I get the sense that he’s tired too.

Social media is the most accessible and easiest platform to talk about “How we feel” but how refreshing if we discussed what we can do to shift the mindset: to stop the mounting anger.

I’ll try and go to local events like Eid: Middle Eastern Markets  where delicious food is mixed with end of Ramadan celebrations.

Wait for the next National Mosque Open Day in October to visit Lakemba Mosque, admire its majestic glory.

Over the coming weeks and months, I’m going to invite friends and fellow bloggers from different backgrounds to write on this blog about their ideas on what we can do to build bridges of racial, cultural and religious understanding.

If you would like to be featured, let me know.

I think we all have plenty to say – we just need to be constructive.

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

Is there a little bit of crazy in all of us? And how much of it do we show to our partners?

Modern day philosopher Alain de Botton was in town over the weekend to promote his new book, “The Course of Love”

Speaking at the Opera House, his topic was obviously on love. But his angle was unconventional and surprisingly refreshing.

We’re dangerously caught up in a world of love based on Romanticism, de Botton explains.

Exciting, intense, deep love that happens impulsively and our soul mate knows us inside out without us even ever having to say much because well, they just “get” us.

Be rid of all those unrealistic notions because the key for a lasting relationship, claims de Botton, is to upfront about how crazy we really are.

We can then automatically reach the conclusion that no one is easy to live with.

This could have saved my husband some suffering.

No doubt, my little quirks were endearing during early courtship – wearing hot pink bed socks, solving Sudoku on the bog, snoring in the cinema.

But now he has committed a LIFETIME with the she devil who after showering and using up all the hot water, always leaves a wet towel on the bed.

I kinda agree with de Botton. But he also assumes that prior into entering a relationship, we should already know what makes us crazy.

Gee, I’m in my mid-40’s and I’ve only touched the tip of my insane iceberg.

Then I also think, if we want to just lay all our imperfections out there from the get go, we may as well spend an evening speed dating.

After all, isn’t figuring out the flaws the very essence of being in a relationship? Finding forgiveness in each other’s mistakes.

In the journey we take with our partners, through their annoyances and misgivings, isn’t there the opportunity to see our own?

What’s your endearing quirk, er, I mean quality? Who snores – you or your partner? Are you familiar with Alain de Botton?

PS I’ll be in hospital for a day procedure (nothing serious, just taking care of my lady bits). But I’ll make sure to read and comment all your posts as that’s what will keep me occupied and away from the self-pity pool. So, link up and send your good vibes!

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

Two years after the second half marathon, this year has seen me do two more within two months.

I’m planning to possibly fit one more in this year.  I don’t even know me anymore.

If you haven’t heard of Emma’s story, let me get you to speed. A mum of FIVE girls, 12 months ago Emma was plagued with a life threatening virus.

Miraculously, she pulled through and also decided it was time to make some drastic health changes.

Emma started doing daily walks around local tennis courts. Slowly, she incorporated some running until she could consistently run five kilometres.

Not even a year into her new running regime, she decided to take on the Gold Coast Airport Marathon. Yes, folks – that’s 42.2 kilometres.

The physical toll that long distance running takes is one thing. What is even more of a challenge (well, for me, anyway) is the mental strength.

Having to set mind over matter; to get over the hamstring niggles, big toes rubbing up a blister storm, stomach stitches after drinking too much water.

Basically trying not to let your brain stray and to keep it rock solid focused.

It’s bloody hard. No matter how good your playlist is.

Emma decided that for each kilometre she was to run, she would dedicate one to someone in her life. Each person’s name was written on her arm. The 42^nd and last kilometre? That one was saved for her.

It was a poignant reminder how running has literally saved her life.

Walking up to the starting line, I didn’t have a plan like Emma’s.

Instead, for the first two kilometres, I just paid close attention to my pace, making sure I wasn’t going too hard too soon.

But as the Gold Coast sunrise start to emerge across the bay, I started thinking about dedicating this run to my late cousin. Without a running partner, instead I “invited” her to join me until I got to the half way mark at least.

The moment her memory entered my mind, my legs felt lighter, my breathing eased up and my shoulders relaxed.

Usually I get anxious when people pass me. Not this race.

Instead, I rolled back through time, remembering our last conversation, giggling again at her self-deprecating jokes.

I pictured the time we swam together at a Sydney hotel pool, how privileged I felt to find some rare one on one time with her.

Next thing I knew, I was at the 11 kilometre mark.

Grieving is a bitch. It’s painful and rips your heart at the most unexpected, vulnerable moments. Almost three years since she’s left this earth, I still often cry.

On that road though, as my heart and head filled with thoughts of Kak Rytha, I actually found comfort.

She would’ve found it highly entertaining that I used her as a means to get over the finish line.

“Are you serious? What could possibly keep your mind occupied for over two hours?”

She would roar with laughter, flashing her electric red lipstick smile.

Well, dear Kak Rytha, it’s you. All I wanted to think about was you.

How much I love you. How much I miss you. How I ache to see you and your smiling face again.

How nice and pleasant it was to pound that pavement and have one on one time again. Just like we did at that pool, laughing, telling jokes, catching up on each other’s busy lives.

Thank you for keeping me company.

If you wrote a book or created a painting, who would you dedicate it to you? How do you keep loved ones’ memories alive? Are you familiar with Emma’s story?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love