In light of recent events and comments, I felt compelled to write about my thoughts and experiences of racism and bigotry.
But guess what? I’m tired.
I wanted to give a detailed recollection of the fear in my mother’s voice when she called me in Japan 20 years ago, gravely telling me that there was a “Hanson lady” who wanted to kick her, our family and other Asians out of Australia.
But I’m tired.
There’s my deep concern that 20 years later, there’s an even stronger message of exclusion and hate.
That concern is followed by rage. Anger that we have to deal with the ill informed and narrow-mindedness all over again.
But then, I just get tired.
Waleed Aly made a great point on The Project the other night.
We need to stop being destructive with our comments and start being constructive. It’s not to undermine the seriousness of the issue. Neither did I feel his message came from a place of privilege or happy la-la-land.
What was said on a morning show three days ago will fade away like any other internet storm.
But as we all know, hate just feeds hate.
Those who have been victims of racism and bigotry have had to deal with it for far longer than an internet storm.
Don’t know about Waleed but for me it’s been over 40 years.
But I get the sense that he’s tired too.
Social media is the most accessible and easiest platform to talk about “How we feel” but how refreshing if we discussed what we can do to shift the mindset: to stop the mounting anger.
I’ll try and go to local events like Eid: Middle Eastern Markets where delicious food is mixed with end of Ramadan celebrations.
Wait for the next National Mosque Open Day in October to visit Lakemba Mosque, admire its majestic glory.
Over the coming weeks and months, I’m going to invite friends and fellow bloggers from different backgrounds to write on this blog about their ideas on what we can do to build bridges of racial, cultural and religious understanding.
If you would like to be featured, let me know.
I think we all have plenty to say – we just need to be constructive.

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Well said Grace. And that a great idea …
This is what I wrote on my personal Facebook page with The Project clip: We’ve all got a decision to make. Every day we can either be destructive or constructive. Every word we utter, every response we make, every action we take can either further add to destruction and segregation or start to create a united front for positive change. How constructive are you going to be today?
It’s that question that is the key. What are each of us going to do TODAY and every day to be constructive. I think that would make great bloggy topic for discussion … but also to inspire and motivate others on what we can do in our local communities to advance positive change.
For example I’d never thought of visiting a local mosque. I didn’t know I could. Thanks for the prompt!
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I have to say I’m tired and I’m not even effected by it -I’m white and not muslim. I have to say, I just think of the people that I deal with daily, Asian, Muslim, Arab, and the myriad of others that we hate on, and they’re all nice to me. They’re polite, I don’t get yelled at in the street, I don’t get yelled at for what I wear. Can they say the same? If they’re nice to me, shouldn’t I be equally nice to them? Aren’t they just getting through life and making a living like me?
Anyway, if you want to be scared of something, be scared of domestic violence and do something about that. Be scared of car crashes and do something about that.They have far greater likelihood of happening to you personally.
What does scare me, is how do the recruiters find their unstable targets, that are often not even religious before they get their hands on them? That scares me. And who is funding them? That scares me. They are too well resourced for it to be just from random donations. It is a bigger entity than that. That is what we should be scared of. Not people who look different to us, or who eat differently to us, or who dress differently to us.
As for building a bridge, it’s a great idea but I’m not sure how. I know for me I eat regularly from Muslim and Asian restaurants. Does that count?
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Great post, Grace. I like your interpretation of Waleed’s piece. I still think he didn’t word it quite right – when he said ‘we are all now responsible for the message’ and a few other things toward the end of the piece, I heard that those affected by racism need to be more sympathetic and understanding of those spreading the hate. Nice theory, but in practise it’s effectively asking the victims to empathise with their attackers.
But the destructive vs constructive bit, I wholeheartedly agree. You’re never going to reach and convince some people, but you never know who’s going to overhear (or overread online) that conversation and either read your points with an open mind, or dismiss your view altogether because you just called names.
I’ve never directly experienced racial discrimination (SURPRISE! White middle-class girl hasn’t been picked on for the colour of her skin!) but I’ve certainly seen it in action. I live in a multicultural suburb, but it’s not here that I’ve seen it. It’s in places like Bendigo (where I grew up) – predominantly white areas that are scared of what they don’t know and haven’t bothered to understand. They see acts of terror elsewhere and make the (false) assumption that the only reason it hasn’t happened where they live is that (insert vilified group here) hasn’t ‘invaded’ yet. I think they latch onto people like Hanson and the media’s tendency to blame all our problems on certain groups of people because it gives them a reason they don’t have to overanalyse. The wrong one, of course, but a reason nonetheless.
This turned into an essay. A constructive one, I think. I hope. Thanks for your words. Glad to know you, Grace. x
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Em, you eloquently worded how I feel. I think he did miss the mark. Many Muslim people have said the same. I definitely think he meant well, though. So yes, Grace, what Em said 🙂 and I’m so looking forward to reading your series and learning more about the experiences of other people.
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I understand that asking those who are victimize to be empathetic and forgiving may be unrealistic. Every time I experienced some for of racism whether it be casual or straight out aggressive, I was often told by others “Ignore it.” or “They’re just narrowminded” And years of that has left behind a helluva lot of anger.
But I’ve personally discovered that it really is hard to use that anger in a productive way.
Maybe Aly didn’t hit the mark and he’s upset a lot of the Muslim community but there’s no easy solution. And at least Waleed is trying to do his best to bring some calm and make sense of it all.
I have never understood racism. I think cultural diversity is something to be celebrated and encouraged. I think your ideafor a series on this is superb.
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I don’t understand racism either, Jody. Hopefully by talking about it more, we can make some sense of it and slowly make it dissipate.
What a wonderful idea Grace. I love the cultural diversity in Australia but all the fear and anger that people have towards other cultures is very scary indeed and I’m not surprised you’re tired. I think it’s fantastic that you’re taking it upon yourself to do something positive. You have inspired me to look out for Mosque open days here in Melbourne. I would love to do that.
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Oh, Denise! Please do let me know if you attend a Mosque open day. I know it will happen nationally in October. I would love you to write here about your experiences 🙂
I can’t imagine what it would be like to be on the receiving end of racial abuse. It’s beyond me the behaviour of people these days. So sad and it needs to end.
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I couldn’t agree more, Di. It so needs to stop.
Let me know if you want me to write for you 🙂
And I feel you. I have deliberately disengaged from news and anyone who shares news online because I just don’t feel like I can take reading yet another story of something crappy and horrible. Right now I don’t feel like I have the capacity to help, which makes me feel like I have no capacity to care. I just wish it would stop.
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I would love you to write for me! Will send you an email 🙂
I can’t imagine what it’s like living with that sort of judgement day in and day out. I drafted something for my blog about my experiences in Africa and reverse racism – if that makes sense… trying to share my very brief exposure and how it can make you feel. But then it felt silly and superficial so I ditched it.
It’s exhausting at the moment for those on the periphery so I can’t imagine what it’s like to be PERSONALLY touched by it all.
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I would be interested in your perspective Deborah – I feel protective of our Chinese kids and perhaps a bit righteous when we encounter rudeness and disdain (from Chinese people) that we adopted our kids.
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Oh, Kathy. I can’t begin to imagine what you went through during the adoption process.
Deb, I would LOVE to hear your story! I hope you still have a draft of it at least! I’ll send you an email 🙂
I’d love to hear about these experiences too from Deborah and Kathy. Living in a predominantly Anglo Western country, it’s an assumption of “white on other” racism but racism is racism and can come from any culture. I know what you mean by “reverse” but it’s really just racism and at its core a non acceptance and/or lack of understanding of “the other”. There are reasons, justified or not, why it’s there and I believe understanding that can help build bridges to cross chasms of ignorance. Unfortunately, anything more ingrained than ignorance might be harder to crack but we should still try.
Grace, this is a most important post..and you already know that because you are not afraid to say what needs to be said. I too am tired and yet I have a white, privileged space I occupy in the world. It was not until I read here once about ‘having a skin or appearance’ (my words) that is different that you are perceived as different. You made me think a LOT about that. Thank you again for opening up my eyes. Denyse xx
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Oh, D. Thank you for reading my words all these years. Breaking down the racial barriers start with dialogue and friendships. I am grateful for ours.
High five to you, Grace – ace post! My mum lived in the Caribbean for a while and when I visited her I felt so conspicuous. I felt that people were judging me based on the colour of my skin, and it was something I couldn’t hide, no matter how much I wanted to “blend” in. It’s an experience that has always stayed with me, and I can really empathise with others, in the current political climate . I think cultural diversity is something to be celebrated and embraced, and certainly something not to be afraid of. I think can all make a difference celebrating that diversity in our own streets, our schools and our workplaces because we’re all special but we’re all different. Gee, wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same?!
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I’d love to hear more about your visits to the Caribbean, Sammie. Care to write here about them? 🙂 x
I think the first place to start is in our own homes. We need to teach our own children that racial diversity is something to be celebrated and not something to be feared. Unfortunately this is also the very place where the seed of hatred is first planted. I’m not sure what to do about it to be honest. I am teaching my children to be tolerant and understanding of all cultures and religions, however I am only one household……
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Yes, Mandy! Our HOMES! I also love how our school really gets involved with events like Harmony Day and NAIDOC week. The teacher also made a very beautiful speech about acceptance during assembly once. Made me so proud of my boys’ school
I find it difficult to weigh in on conversations about racism and bigotry from my position of privilege as a white woman from a family with reasonable means. My experience with such things is third party at best. So I won’t speak on it.
Construction, conversation, acceptance is something I want for me and not to be too grand, but the world, actually. I’ve been angry, but I see that in my own way I was another voice shouting into the void. I’d rather be a calm space for the greatness of people to show up. And that’s what I’m going to aim for from now on. Not silent, but open.
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Yes! Open conversations!
I love that approach! I’ve been angry for too long. And yes, I’ll still allow myself to get that way but I find noone really listens to anger.
Not sure what to say here only that I am deeply sorry that a wonderful person like yourself (and your beautiful family) has experienced racism in this country.
Thank you, lovely. It means a lot to me x
I feel tired for you too. We just celebrated our Racial Harmony Day here in SG yesterday. In trying times like these, it’s a very welcoming reminder to know how important it is to be open to people different than us, and to accept other races and religions. We’ve come so far as a globalised world working together.. why do we want to close up again and treat others like enemies? Isn’t it better to have someone as a friend than an enemy??
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I saw your photos for Racial Harmony Day! I love how multicultural Singapore is! And yes, Ai it comes back to your very good point – isn’t it better to have someone as a friend than an enemy…
I can understand you feeling tired and frustrated at having to keep coming up against racism, personally and in our society. I find the Hanson renaissance so very sad for our country – we really are going backwards. I nearly always only speak in general terms about having more tolerance and compassion for each other – certainly on my blog where I don’t like to get political. Personally I express my opinions to campaign against racism, while trying to be tolerant of people who express racism (it’s their opinions/actions I don’t like – I don’t know them personally). It is hard speaking as a white woman, but then the choice is to not speak just because I have no ‘personal’ experience with racism. And that isn’t exactly true – we have Chinese kids, so racism affects our family. And I have experience rudeness and scorn in China because we are white parents with Chinese kids – I don’t exactly know what you call that but it isn’t tolerance.
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What you’ve experienced Kathy is definitely racism. And I’m sorry it happened to you. Especially as you were over there based on unconditional love. x
Fantastic idea Grace. Racism is terrible. I am from a European background, and have very dark olive skin. As a child I was called some terrible names and it was awful.
I didn’t watch The Project so am not sure of Waleed’s entire speech but have heard a lot about it
I’m so sorry you experienced racism, especially as a child. Let me know if you’d like to write about your thoughts, Michelle. x
So eloquently written Grace. I feel the situation here in the UK is the same and that since the EU Referendum the world sees Britain as a racist country. I’m ashamed that racial harassment has increased and that right wing politics have influenced so many. I am fortunate that the people I surround myself with are wonderful, accepting and diverse, but I am sorry that you have had to experience such dispicable behaviour.
I have been trying to write a post for the last few weeks about it so would be very interested in getting involved.
Amy x
Oh, Amy I would love to hear more about your thoughts on Brexit! I’ll be contacting you soon! I’m sorry to hear that racial harassment has increased in the UK 🙁
Nothing makes my blood boil more than ignorant racists. I am embarrassed of their behaviour and disgusted at the same time. So sorry you’ve had a life with it 🙁 xxx
Thanks, lovely. I remember when you pointed out that stupid article that made fun of New Zealand. Why? Why does this happen?