With Some Grace

A few years ago, I booked myself in for a facial. Another birthday in my ‘fabulous 40’s’ was looming and the lack of collagen in my face was dire.

The therapist asked me to take off all my jewellery prior to the treatment. Pretty standard.

2 hours later, I walked out rejuvenated. Elated by the few hours of pampering, I forgot to retrieve my rings from the inside pocket of my handbag where I had last left them.

Or so I thought.

When I finally did remember the next day, I found my engagement ring as well as the one I had received  for my 40^th.

Tipping my bag upside down inside out, my wedding ring was nowhere to be found.

In a panic, I frantically searched all over the house. I had heard stories of this happening, sometimes with a happy ending. I was dreading that mine wouldn’t.

Mr Surfer even looked under the house just in case my platinum band had fallen through the cracks of our corridor.

Nothing.

Misgivings that the ring was perhaps stolen would creep into my mind but I pushed them aside. At the end of the day, it was my fault for not taking better care and keeping it safe.

While I hated myself for losing something so precious, my husband was extremely calm.

“Ring gone but marriage intact,” he’d remind me.

Intact yes but gee, it’s hard work. Wouldn’t you agree?

Cleaning kitchens, bath and dinner duties and morning routines. And the sleep deprivation! Sleeeeeep! Never overrated!

All of this call for efficient tag teaming, making sure no one drops the ball but it’s all just treading water. Trying to stay afloat in the rocky waters of parenting and commitment.

Whatever happened to romance? No time for dat.

Despite recovering from an exhausting week, Mr Surfer insisted we go out on a dinner date. Kids were at Grandma’s and we had a rare night to ourselves. Secretly, I just wanted to get in my PJ’s and curl up with a book.

But scrub up I did. It didn’t matter that we were over 45 minutes late for our limited 2 hour seating at a very fancy shamancy Japanese fusion restaurant at The Rocks.

We were seated at our table and just as I was beginning to feel like we were back to our early days of courting, my husband handed over a little box and an envelope. Then, he excused himself from the table.

Just as I opened the box, the waitress dropped by and squealed. She lunged over giving me a big hug.

“No, no! We’re already married!” I was laughing and crying, trying to explain the awkward situation.

Accompanying the ring came a card and letter with some of the most beautiful words I’ve ever read.

By the time he returned to the table, I was bawling.

Relationship recalibration.

A reminder to be grateful for one another because anyone can play tag.

Besides, we can catch up on our sleep when we’re old.

It’s definitely nice to have my ring back. It’s even nicer to rekindle the romance.

Ever lost your wedding ring or an important, sentimental piece of jewellery?

What do you do to rekindle the romance?

Is sleep overrated or not?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

When people ask how we found ourselves in Australia, the story always sounds too good to be true.

My parents had met and befriended an Australian diplomat while he was on a posting in Jakarta.

In our plans to move to the States, Dad was in the process of submitting our Green Card application.

But our Australian friend had a much better idea – what about migrating to Canberra, Australia instead?

Offering his help to find employment for my parents upon arrival, it was a no brainer. And there it was – off we trotted to Australia, the land of plenty and opportunity.

When so many other migrants and refugees hold life risking stories and unfathomable hardship in their journey to Australia, we were extremely lucky. No, randomly blessed.

Our Australian friend set a home for us. As he promised, he found jobs for my parents. He took it on as his responsibility to enroll my brothers and I to reputable public schools.

He taught me English. He helped me figure out how to use a knife and fork.

Stuff that most Australian kids take for granted but as migrants, my parents were still trying to figure out how to fit in, they themselves had no clue about the intricacies of Western etiquette and culture.

This year, my family and I just celebrate our 40 year anniversary of moving to Australia. On a rare family gathering a couple of months ago, we sat around the kitchen table, reflecting on those early days, comparing them to where we are today – happy, successful, safe.

As it works out, this year is also one of commiseration. Our dear family friend, who selflessly provided so much for us, passed away last Friday morning.

My family will be reunited again today for his funeral.

I’ve been asked to speak on behalf of my parents, my brothers and our respective families. I’ve prepared a speech and I hope my words properly convey our gratitude. I hope I adequately express how indebted we all feel.

Our lives could’ve been so very different, if it wasn’t for him.

 

Ever felt randomly blessed? Who or what have you been indebted to?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

Trying to think of how to start writing about our big overseas holiday, it’s probably best to begin when it didn’t.

In the marathon training zone, my boss and I went for a run during a lunch break. How can pounding the pavement jeopardise a holiday? Two days prior to departure, no less.

It couldn’t…if you weren’t me.

Almost at the end, only 200 metres away from the office I tripped on the edge of an uneven footpath which happened to be right in front of the concrete stairs where I tumbled and crashed.

The intense pain so agonizing that paralysed tears. Blood shooting to the head as adrenalin kicked in.

Keep calm and drop F-Bombs.

The unforgettable scene of my boss placing my head on her lap, wiping the sweat off my forehead as random neighbours came outside with a bottle of water and sympathy.

The next 24 hours consisted of driving with a packet of frozen peas on the injured foot that swiftly turned to cankle. Searching for a doctor who was available to determine how bad the situ was.

GP was certain it was broken. I was determined it wasn’t.

I finally found a specialist – yay. Hobbled over to discover that his office was on the second floor in a building where the elevator wasn’t working – boo.

The Foot Gods were laughing their arses off.

They were on the floor in hysterics as I stumbled down two flights to get x-rays. Then climb back up with the images.

Diagnosis? No fracture but high ankle sprain.

Still okay to go to Japan, right?

Not without a crutch and moon boot.

Oh.

In less than 48 hours, I went from the excitement and anticipation of going on a month long holiday to two of my favourite places in the world to the crashing disappointment that nope. I wasn’t going anywhere.  Holiday cancelled.

And the Canberra marathon came and went last weekend without running participant #490. Boo.

The one takeaway from all of this?

Nothing is certain in life but death, taxes and travel insurance. Always, ALWAYS get some #notsponsored #advicefromaklutz

Ever cancelled a holiday due to an act of klutz? Ever had cankles? Do you get travel insurance?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

Still not having had the chance to write about our end of year holiday to Japan and Bali, I do need to mention my holiday reading.

Hearing her speak at the Sydney Opera House last year, I was compelled to download Elizabeth’s Big Magic on my Kindle.

Reading it, I started reassessing my sales job. Sure, it got me back into the work force and into familiar territory.

But sometimes familiar doesn’t cut it.

With every day of mundane driving around Sydney meeting clients, I was remotely further from what I wanted to do.

The crazy thing? I’m not sure what that actually is.

Write a book? Start a small business?

You know how they say once you let go of what’s holding you back, some good takes its place?

Well, something to that effect.

I came back to Sydney, submitted my resignation and was decidedly happy to have some free rein. Then came a new opportunity that was frighteningly out of my comfort zone.

While what I do now undoubtedly feels closer to what I want to do in life, it hasn’t made it any less challenging.

Because trying anything new exposes yourself to mistakes and oversight. And man, I’ve made my fair share these past weeks.

I like to think that it was serendipity that led the kids and I to the movies last Sunday.

Even if I were to ignore the mumbo jumbo of Big Magic, the Zootopia message shook me back in place: mistakes are how we learn.

It would be committing an injustice if I gave up now.

I may, or may not have Shakira’s “Try Everything” on rotate in the car.

So, I’ll keep going, dammit. Not with the hope it’ll get easier but that things will get interesting.

Have you read Big Magic? Have you seen Zootopia? Did you know that Shakira specifically requested wider hips for her animated character, Gazelle?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

The reason why is still a mystery but in Bahasa Indonesia, the verb “to kiss” is also the same for “to smell”.

Cium (prounounced ‘CHI-oom’).

Maybe it’s because Indonesians don’t greet with a kiss.

Instead they do this bump cheeks thing and validate it with a sniff.

Yup. Sniff both cheeks.

As weird as it sounds, I prefer it to pretentious air kisses.

And it’s not just a greeting for random run-ins with acquaintances or an excuse not to get to close to that aunty with bad breath.

Even the closest of family members will just, well, smell you.

My mum never kissed me. Not even on the forehead, let alone the cheek.

It would be easy to judge that she lacks as a mum in the PDA department. I know I begrudgingly thought that for ages.

Anyway, you know how Facebook has this annoyingly adorable way of popping nostalgic photos into your feed?

This one sent such a surge of nostalgia through me, I had to catch my breath.

It captures the love drunk early days of being a mum. A photo of those days would not have been complete with that iconic twins breastfeeding pillow. I can’t look at the shade of blue ever the same again.

All that euphoria helped me forget the toe-curling pain of nipple thrush.

One thing Apple is missing from its forefront technology, is a smell application. I want to be able to sniff in my babies’ pheromones again, especially the ones from this photo.

Sure, my boys still climb all over me.

But when I grab them for those snuggles and kiss their sweet lips, I can’t help but sniff them too.

I want to soak it all in but I’m also in search for that smell; that delightful combination of sweet and bitter fragrance of newborn and milk.

Instead I get a whiff of vegemite, musky classroom and sweat.

Still doesn’t stop me sniffing them like a mother dog with her puppies.

Maybe a smell is as good as a kiss.

Do you soak in smells? What aroma takes you back? What odours send you crazy?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

After spending a miserable year being racially bullied and teased at a Canberra local primary school, it was fortunate when my parents eventually moved houses.

I was enrolled into a new school and embraced the new beginning.

In a much more multicultural environment than the previous school, I quickly made friends with classmates and neighbours from the Philippines, Papua New Guinea, Israel and Brazil.

Mucking around after school at the marbles pit (Yes, marbles were cool!) and talking about our favourite topic – television – my Papua New Guinean friend randomly mentioned that there was a new TV channel.
“It has programs from around the world! In all these different languages!”
“What??? As. IF,” I scoffed.

It was 1980.

Australia had three commercial television channels (only two made it to Canberra) and of course, the good ol’ ABC.

The most “multicultural” we got from our television shows were Britain’s Doctor Who and The Goodies. Oh, feel free to include The Wombles. (Yeah, they were cool too!)

From a migrant kid’s standpoint, Australia was still white in 1980. From its streets, schools and definitely the media.

People still thought Bali was a separate country.

So, as a first generation Australian, I’m proud to say that I grew up along side SBS.
As a uni student majoring in Japanese, I’d get up and some ungodly hour to watch NHK news, practicing my listening skills.

I recall many a late night/early morning, wracked with sleeplessness, watch some random artistic (read:weird) nudie French movie.

Mr Surfer and I staying up, cheering the machines that be known as the cyclists racing Tour de France.

SBS grew into Australian culture with its multicultural flavour and so did I.

So, it kinda felt like walking into something very familiar when I started my first day there last week. Maybe not quite home but close to it.

“Seven billion stories and counting…”

It’s nice to know I’m part of that.

Do you watch SBS? What’s your favourite show? Seen any weirdo nudie movies?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

I received some really, really REALLY awesome news last Thursday. So delicious in fact that, after the meeting I was skipping down the footpath back to the car. There may have been a little squee or three.

I immediately called my best friend who incidentally, opened the opportunity for me. There is no other feeling than sharing a win with your bestie – no matter how big or small.

Even more so significant when on the other line you hear the words, “I’m so proud of you”

True friendship right there.

I did try to call my husband but his line was busy. I figured he could wait.

You snooze you lose, buddy.

Needless to say he was happy for me but also surprised how quickly it all came about.

I wanted to shout the news to the world, post it on Facebook. Do some more turbo tweeting.

Unfortunately, due to certain circumstances, I can’t. Not yet.

Do you know how hard it is to revert back to communicating news the old way? Er, actually telling people?

Mr (Anti Social Media) Surfer couldn’t emphasize with my frustration.

“Huh. Welcome back to the real world…”

So here I sit at the computer. Being all vague and annoying. And I’m sorry. Sorry because I am one of these people who truly believe if it’s not ready to go online, keep it off. Yet, I’m busting at the edge of my seat wishing I could scream it down my computer screen.

Sorry because I can’t make time go faster and finally tell you all. Yet, want to use this radio silence to sit and savour what will be the awesomeness ahead.

All in good time. Because more than ever, I truly believe that everything always happens in perfect timing.

Have you ever had news to tell but was “Unfacebookable”? What did you do?

Who have you been proud of lately?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

As a migrant kid with parents who spoke okay English but often let their daughter write and sign her school permission notes, there was a downside of growing up and not being white and Caucasian.

There was often a feeling of exclusion.

And if I was given some recognition, it wasn’t always for the right or positive reasons.

But that was Australia back then. Who and what did I have to help depict my ethnicity but also my true blue Aussie-ness?

The closest thing to cultural diversity on 70’s Aussie television was ‘Kingswood Country’ – A “comedy” about a grumpy, bigoted baby boomer, Ted Bullbit who would habitually make racial digs at his Italian “wog” son-in-law.

Anyone remember that show?

Anyway, fast forward to the second decade of the 21st century and hey, we’re finally making progress.

#Comedyvsracism was an event organised by the City of Sydney and All Together Now – the only national charity dedicated to erasing all forms of racism through education and conversation.

My best friend B, the master of event planning is a volunteer at All Together Now and helped put the whole shin dig together.

She asked me if I could be the official Tweeter for the night. How could I say no?
My finger tips were fired up with a social issue so close to my heart.

The panel of speakers weren’t just culturally diverse but also came from all different professions – writers, a playwright, a lawyer, a university lecturer…

What can comedy do about every day racism?
What conversations do we need to have as Australian audiences, comedy makers and the media?
And can we laugh while we’re having them?

ABC radio personality Jennifer Wong – whip smart and witty – was the perfect MC.  (She is also all sorts of awesome for taking the “Nawww” photo of me and B).

So much insight and hilarity in the one room.

Sitting in the back, soaking the energy from the panelists and the audience, I was in the zone, doing my best to turbo Tweet. I even had to shoo B away when she came to see how I was doing. Let the Phantom Tweeter do her thang!

Head over to Twitter, look up #comedyvsracism and see how the night went. While you’re there, why not follow All Together Now?

It’s one step closer to having that conversation on how we can eradicate racism in the workplace, schools, parliament, in this great culturally diverse country of ours.

Ever experienced racism? Know someone who has? Ever heard Jennifer Wong on radio?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

What was expected to be a typical mundane school pick up, I took my seat in my usual spot under the tree as I waited for my boys to come out of class.

I found myself joining in the conversation a mummy acquaintance was having with another mum who was sitting on the other side.

“So, yes…we were 3 rows behind Mark Ruffalo…” while swiping through photos of red carpets and fancy golden gowns.

Not your usual name drop. Or photo sharing.

Later discovering that this mum was actually jet lagged because she had just arrived back from the OSCARS as her husband was up for a nomination in the Best Producer category.

He didn’t win.

I can’t begin to imagine the pressure. Do you prepare an acceptance speech?

What about that the crucial nano second where the camera pans in on all the nominees, zooming in on subdued faces who are trying to be happy for the winner.

Do you practice your “Oh well, never mind…Next time” face?

And what does that actually look like?

At least Leo doesn’t need his anymore…

A couple of days later, our school had its own little Oscar ceremony – the very first school assembly for the year.

Potential earworm songs about recycling (to the tune of “We’ve Got The Whole World In Our Hands”), Grade 2 presentations on snails. Snails *yawn*

Merit awards handed out.

Parents waiting in anticipation to see if their child makes the cut.

Each time another child’s name is called out, there is that similar Oscars moment of disappointment but still offering a good natured hand clap.

Admittedly, I had my camera ready to capture that proud moment that never came. Quietly, I put it back in my bag along with my high expectations.

Alas, I think I have little Leo’s. Maybe it’ll take another 6 nominations. And that’s okay.

Did you follow the Oscars? Seen any of the movies that won awards? Are your school assemblies as riveting as ours?

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

Certain situations call the need to admit defeat.

First up, I want to apologize profusely for not reading any FYBF posts from last week.

But even from a galaxy far, far away, life has gotten the better of me.

In my closet state of wannabe craft mummy, I promised the boys a Star Wars theme birthday party.

Those who have been following this blog from prehistoric internet years will know that I have only held two birthday parties for the boys – for their first and their fourth. Both times it took several years to recover.

Alas, I never learn my lesson. Perhaps I just desperately want to be that superhero mum.

So the nights when I usually catch up on FYBF reading, I’ve stayed up till midnight making these babies…

And because that didn’t satisfy my OCD tendencies, the following evening, I found the inspiration to make Stormtrooper party bags.

Thank you, Pinterest.

Thank you to all you insatiably talented, crafty bloggers who successfully led me to believe I could possibly be even a smidgeon as cool as you.

There’s a few extra party craft projects that I’m working on but I don’t want to give too much more away.

Except to say, that maybe Mama Gr-REY-ce will be making a special character appearance.

There may – or may not – be a Death Star Piñata. And I will ensure to put some lollies in this time.  Rookie parenting mistake.  Ahems.

Once the crazy party shenanigans is over, I promise that I will return from the Dark Side and catch up on all your lives and blogs.

May the FYBF Force Be With You.

Are you or your kids into Star Wars? Have you seen The Force Awakens? Who else wants to be Rey???

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1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love