I started this mothering gig not having a clue about baking.
And all the odds were against me.
I had a shitty oven. (So shitty, the numbers on the knobs had faded away).
One twin was allergic to eggs. (Yes, it’s true. Identical twins aren’t completely identical).
Fundamentals were stripped away, leaving me at a disadvantaged disadvantage.
When the twinions were about to reach their first birthday, friends tried to ease my anxiety, assuring me that baking them a birthday cake would be “Pah! Eaaaasy!”
Cheating was my option. I used a pre-mix packet.
I mean, I baked this and thought I was onto something special.
“Um, is it supposed to be this flat?” asked Mr Surfer.
What? Chocolate Mud Cakes aren’t flat?
Why didn’t anyone tell me that egg replacement doesn’t work with pre-mixed cakes??!!!!
Even a “fool-proof” chocolate mud cake recipe was sent through.
“Try this one! My students love it! And if I can make it, you can!” my kindergarten teacher friend exclaimed.
Why did I believe her? Why did I even dare to think that our baking skills were on par?
She had me fooled for a brief moment.
So, I gave up. And every year I’ve shunned my responsibilities and resorted to outsourced birthday cakes.
Or my mum’s homemade Indonesian jelly dessert.
Except for this year.
Dang it. We’re having a birthday party this Sunday and I refuse, REFUSE I tells ya, to be intimidated by baked goods or our new oven.
Betty Crocker gods help me, not only will there be a dinosaur cake. I’m going to bake TWO.
Rex The Dinosaur
I even did a test run.
Wish me luck. Eek!
In attempt to make me feel better about myself, tell me: What’s been your biggest bake fail?
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Morning Grace, I seriously have birthday cake every single year! Love the dinosaur, great work. Have a great weekend xx
Deb – An Inspirational Journey recently posted..New Beginnings.
I too am about to make a birthday cake!! Off to get the baking started right now in fact. A paintball cake. It may end up being my biggest birthday cake fail … but I hope not …
L @ DFF
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit recently posted..Day 1579 – No Gifts Please
My biggest cake fail is in the links today?
Carolyn
Desire Empire recently posted..Silent Movies at the Majestic Theatre in Pomona
Happy Birthday to your gorgeous boys! Best baking fail at our house…….my daughter was pulling the cake out of the oven to turn it around half way through baking, and promptly dropped it upside down, so no cake and a big messy oven door to clean. 🙁
Nikki@Wonderfully Women recently posted..DIY Project: How To Make Your Own Mailbox
Happy birthday to your handsome boys! Good luck baking – I’m sure it will turn out great if the picture of the test run cake is anything to go by!
xx
Lauren @ Createbakemake recently posted..Picture Perfect?
The dinosaur cake is amazing!! I can’t believe you are a non baker…THIS is a non baker (point to every half a@@ed thing I’ve ever made). I outsource.
Lydia C. Lee recently posted..Conversations over Coffee – My Best Friend
It’s just about being prepared and following the instructions. Seriously these birthday cakes are easy if you have the time, patience and wine! I hate cooking but I’ve always made all the kids birthday cakes as my mum always made kick ass ones for us kids! Have a smashing party on Sunday lovely 🙂 xxx
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me recently posted..Hello, my name is Emily, I’m a horse and it’s my year!
Just make sure you have enough time without rug rats under your feet!
Twinkle in the Eye recently posted..Dancing with the Black Dog – Depression
Can’t wait to hear how the TWO dinosaur cakes go!!! My biggest fail was I once made toffee and sort of got distracted and it got so stuck to the saucepan that in the end I just had to throw it out… saucepan included!!!
Lucy @ Bake Play Smile recently posted..Top Deck Chocolate Slice
That dinosaur is amazing! I’d hire you. Stick it in the freezer – it’s too good to be the trial cake! (Cakes freeze don’t they? No? Oh. I’m as good a baker as you.)
Emily recently posted..Things that made me smile this month
Good luck for Sunday :-). I make Anzacs regularly. I use the same recipe, same oven, same brands but they turn out different every time. Lord only knows how! I’ve also had a few fails experimenting with turning recipes ‘clean’ . I’ve got this delicious paleo choc-nana mug cake in my blog but if you forget the banana AND honey it doesn’t turn out so good 🙂
Kate recently posted..Decluttering: Lessons For Life
I have come to realise it doesn’t matter what the cake turns out like, it’s the love that goes into it. Even if your number one cake looks like a giant penis, or your snow white cake looks like it has a bad case of cellulite, the kids will still love it. The dinosaur looks wicked. You will be fine. You’ve put in the hard yards and practice. My only suggestion is for Mr Surfer to take the kids out so you have the house to yourself and no distractions. Good luck!
Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me recently posted..Everything sounds better in song
Yes I totally understand – my daughter was allergic to eggs and intolerant of wheat – so cakes without wheat and eggs = bricks!!! Luckily she has grown out of it now and I guess your little man has too? I love the dinosaur cake – well done!
Shelley @ Money Mummy recently posted..What Is The Best Way To Save For Your Child’s Education?
Oh I love it Grace! Our baking skills are on par and I ALWAYS outsource my cakes. My brother made me look bad at my son’s 3rd birthday by making this incredible truck cake that had violet crumbles oozing out of it. It was definitely the talk of the party. What wasn’t the talk of the party were my chocolate crackles. The kids took one bite and ran to their mums with strange looks on their faces. I FORGOT THE SUGAR! I hope the boys have fun on Sunday. My daughters park party had to be rescheduled to next week due to extreme heat in Melbourne. 🙁
Neets recently posted..A Free-Spirited Girl Turns 3!
I also have to vary how I make cakes – I’ll clearly never be a ‘real’ baker!!
Vanessa recently posted..Breaded Camembert with Cranberry Sauce
Grace, there’s just not enough room on here to list all my baking fails 🙂
Probably the worst was Bell’s 4th birthday, when I made a white chocolate cheesecake. It would have been so perfect for maybe 8 people, just a shame there were about 40 people at the party!!
Luckily all John’s awesome party food saved the day, and since then he’s done the cake baking.
Hope your gorgeous boys have the best day xx
Lisa@RandomActsOfZen recently posted..I Did It!
Rex looks awesome! Good luck xx
I have one major cake fail when I was about 11 or 12. I made a marble cake. I made three different colour cake mixes and put them in one tin. There was one overflowing volcano in mums oven, woops!
Alicia recently posted..The Beachport Cinema
Baking is an exact science unlike cooking, i think, not enough of something and it all goes to nought.
My first ever birthday cake, I had three goes at it before it was right and ended up with more fondant than cake.
Your dinosaur cake looks fab! Hope the twinlets have a great birthday party! x
stephanie recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Blue Mountains Adventure
That looks fantastic!! Happy birthday boys and all the best for a cracking party, Grace 🙂
Kaz @ Melting Moments recently posted..Weekly Wrap Up
His grace birthdays always stress me out. This year was the first truly successful cake using a nigella traditional chocolate cake recipe. My disaster of all time was also a nigella cake that had custard it int. an hr before the party (I was stressed anyway) I turned out the cake and only half of it came out. My trusty friend Samantha (who I call samwise) raced down to Coles … Say no more 🙂
Kim@spiritedmama recently posted..Balancing motherhood and personal dreams
My biggest baking fail – scones. I pass them off to my family as rock cakes!
Jacana recently posted..Festival Of Learning – Newcastle
The dinosaur is brilliance! I love the look on your face with that chocolate cake that says: “I just split the freakin atom!!”
Probably my biggest cake fail was when I promised to decorate our playgroup birthday anniversary cake. It wasn’t entirely my fault, one of the mothers had baked it with that egg stuff above because of her son’s allergy. I wanted to make an Elmer the Elephant design, so I took her baked rectangle and tried to cut, then ice the whole thing in coloured patches. Imagine my horror when the thing just kept crumbling away at every touch like mini avalances at each open-cut edge. It was nervewracking, but somehow I got it there, slathered in as much icing as there was left of cake.
Twitchy recently posted..Sweet Dreams In Vogue with Michael Griffiths
Wait. You made a trial cake? You are a serious over achiever Grace!
I bet it will be a shining success. Have fun. xx
Amanda @ Cooker and a Looker recently posted..never trust a fart: a novella
I can never get my pavlova’s to stay big & fluffy like Nigella or Mrs Fulton, they always fall flat. I also get cake crumbs in the icing whenever I ice the birthday cakes-apparently if you put them in the freezer first, then ice them you have more success but I never have the time for that! Happy Birthday to your beautiful boys-goodluck with the cake!
lisa recently posted..Writing with Anna Spargo-Ryan #1
That Dinosaur is fabulous!! good job 🙂 My bake fail was buying my three year old an Australia day Choc mudcake from Woolies this year because we had just gotten back from being away and I didn’t have time to do the cake thing!
Jaz @ Red Dolls recently posted..Chamomile and Peppermint
I could do a blog post or three about the creations I’ve made using my cake and muffin fails. Hubby is no better he has this tendency to not learn by his mistakes and add plain flour instead of self raising every time. His flatter than flat chocolate yesterday worked well for a choc trifle, although when he pulled it out he did mention he was totally going for a flat brownie rather than a chocolate cake. lol
Lots of luck with your two cakes.
Mystery Case recently posted..Five in Five | Red Dolls
When Mr 19 turned 5, I actually made one of those fabbo looking cakes from the good ol’ Women’s Weekly birthday cake book – it was a pirate face for his pirate theme party (you can check it out here: https://www.middleagedmama.com.au/oh-no-not-another-birthday/). However it was a heck of a lot of mucking around, and I must confess I haven’t bothered since 😉
Janet @ Redland City Living recently posted..How Blogging has Changed Me
Impressive cake, I love it!!!I love the rocks 🙂 I also love the baking failure so honest!
Eleise recently posted..Help I feel like a taxi driver in my blended family!
That chocolate cake looks AMAZING. I’d be quite happy with that. #justsayin
Deborah recently posted..Incidentally speaking
Well my story starts with a dinosaur cake that became a volcano! Dropped the cake and couldn’t save it so piled it all up added some red jelly I had luckily made and some plastic dinosaurs. Hayden still loved it and I made sure the next cake was better!
Annaleis recently posted..Breakfast of Learning Champions
Awesome dinosaur! Please post the recipe
Lani recently posted..Story: Are best friend dramas starting younger?
I can bake the cake no dramas…ask me to decorate it and I fail miserably. One of my friends does awesome things with fondant (and it’s marshmallow flavoured so it actually tastes really good). For my birthday last year she made me a vodka bottle cake, it looked awesome!
Tegan recently posted..Housework is bad for you
I have had plenty of fails but most still tasted good.
That dinosaur looks awesome.
Happy Birthday Twinions.
Trish recently posted..It’s on my Facebook page , I figured you knew !
The dinosaur is fantastic! One hundred per cent better than anything I ever created. Homemade tastes so much better too!
Pinky Poinker recently posted..Apparently there IS a CYCLONE coming after all.
Just realised that my comment for this post went on to your birthday message for the twins post instead! D’oh! So I’ll comment what I was gonna say on that post here…
I got a little teary reading that, it was just beautiful. You have such a way with words. Happy Birthday to your gorgeous boys!
Kylie Purtell, A Study in Contradictions recently posted..My Top 5 Baby & Toddler Proofing Tips
Happy Birthday to the twins! Good luck with the cake. Your practise cake looks Great, so I’m sure you are safe! Cooking without eggs would be challenging.
Oh Grace you crack me up!
I’m so dory I’m on of those annoying people who just makes great cakes without trying. Sorry.
EssentiallyJess recently posted..Less Toxic Living
Happy birthday to your twins. I hope they have an amazing party tomorrow. I think you did a pretty fantastic job with your cake test run, I’m sure the real deal will be just as good, if not better.
Georgia recently posted..A letter to Harry and Zach: 5 months
Well done on the dinosaur – I’m sure it will be great for tomorrow’s party. Last year Little Yang’s birthday fell on Chinese New Year (Year of Snake) which gave me a great out – make cake in shape of snake (a bit of chopping was involved with two round cakes), smother with icing to hide gaps and decorate, very predictably, with lolly snakes. This year it’s a pirate party and I’m off to investigate.
Kathy recently posted..Happy Year of the Horse
I haven’t had to make the dreaded birthday cake yet. I’m sure mine will turn out adequately crap though as I have to make a dairy free, egg free and possibly gluten free one as well. It should be interesting anyway.
Toni @ Finding Myself Young recently posted..I can’t believe its been 2 years
My identicals aren’t so identical either, hardly even alike at all these days yet as newborns I had no idea who was who.
Hope the cake is a success, happy birthday twinlets!
Emma Fahy Davis recently posted..The Problem With Making Breastfeeding Mandatory
Wow! Well done Grace! The cake looks amazing and looks like they liked it too!
Rita @ The Crafty Expat recently posted..Books read in 2014 – The Shadow of the Wind
I always always always outsource cakes! No one wants me in the kitchen, with my already high birthday-party-anxiety baking anything, let alone cake! Your dinosaur looks absolutely amazing – hope the twins had a great party today xx
Josefa @always Josefa recently posted..Conversations with My Best Friend