During their 6 month check up, our paediatrician made an interesting comment:
“I know it’s hard with twins at the moment. But just wait and see. They’ll be each other’s company and entertainment. You won’t have to worry about finding things to do. You’ll have it much easier than parents of single babies.”
I clung to those words like superglue. Waiting earnestly for the days of self-sufficiency.
And we’re here. And to a large degree, he was right.
Largely, people are correct to assume that twins means a natural closeness. An inseperable bond. A happy harmony.
But no one mentions the flip-side; the clash of opposing personalities.
Just because they’re twins, they will still go through sibling rivalry.
Even in the womb, Little K was dominating by nature. After all, he was the one that took up two-thirds of the nutrients from the placenta. He was also the one that did most of the kicking and swirling around.
On the other hand, Little N was placid. He was happily snug in the downward position two weeks before the scheduled C-section delivery. Sometimes in the middle of the night, with Hubby spooning me and both of us with our hands on my belly, we would wait and wait for Little N to finally make some movement.
Yet – once arriving in the outside world – their different personalities seem to have complimented each other.
Somehow, just within this last month, we have managed to go from here:
We knew it was coming.
It began discreetly. Little K would snatch a toy right out of his brother’s hand. Little N – the accommodating one – would just move on. Happily play with another toy.
But now as their personalities further develop, their own ideas of what they want are also setting in.
And because Little K is bigger than his older brother, he will get away with more. In return, Little N – being a sensitive soul – will run away in a corner and cry.
We see that there’s an imbalance. We’re trying to reason with Little K to give back the toy. But when both are still too young to communicate and understand the “sharing game”; where there isn’t an older sibling who will “know better” and surrender that toy; it all results in a lot of chaos.
What’s baffling about it all is that Little K is actually not aggressive with other children.
If he sees another kid playing with his favourite toy at playgroup, Little K won’t act on it. But if it’s his twin brother ? Watch out.
Fortunately, Little N is starting to stand his ground. And despite the Little K tantrums it causes, we’re encouraging Little N to stick to his guns.
Again, the effects can be horrendous.
But we have to do it.
Until we can actually sit down with them and explain the concept of “taking turns” or “sharing”, it’s going to be a rough ride.