There must be something in the water at the moment but I’ve been fired up a lot these days.
In a good way. I attended a whole day of passionate women talking about feminism and human rights issues. I’ve been watching some inspiring documentaries about the fight against racism with Mr Surfer.
Things have been puh-retty heavy around here but I’m loving it. I’m relishing the intellectual stimulation.
So, it got me very angry seeing this photo floating around on my FB feed.
Jodi Gordon decked out in perfect, flawless make up and hair and red lace, carrying her new born baby girl, Aleeia.
Red effing lace.
To add insult to injury, the comments on the post were from women gushing how beautiful she looked.
“Oh, how does she do it?”
“Stunning!”
“I have never looked like that, even when I had a new born”
Er, that’s because no one looks like that after having a newborn.
And the worse one, “I wished I looked like that when I had my baby”
Seriously? Do you? Do you??
It comes back to that whole argument how celebrity mothers just don’t keep it real. And as I don’t care about sounding like sour grapes, they’re indirectly making us mums feel bad. Stirring that bee hives nest that mums are upset in seeing these images of perfect celebrities because in fact, they are just jealous.
Yup. That’s it. I so want their life. I desperately want to parade in a hospital ward wearing scratchy red lace and smearing thick foundation make up and lipstick over my newborn.
Please. Just stop it.
Here’s the truth:
I don’t want Giselle Bundchen telling me that anything but breast milk is poison for my babies. I don’t want to see Miranda Kerr, looking all sexy with a silk robe breastfeeding her child and captioning it “Just another day at the office”. I certainly don’t want Gwyneth Paltrow telling me that working mothers with a 9 to 5 job have it so much easier than an actor’s schedule of 14 hour working days, 2 weeks straight in “another town”
The internet is now a place where we can see real life – whether it’s confronting, ridiculously exaggerated or whatever.
But at least you have the option to see what reality can be. So for those who celebrities who think we don’t know better and can’t see behind the bullshit:
Don’t insult my intelligence.
Because this is reality and I’m not ashamed to show it.
Me, a few hours after having my stomach cut open to have 2 babies aggressively pulled and tugged out.
At the time, I thought it was so ridiculous to have a photo taken whilst in that state but now I’m glad I have it. Because this, my friends…is how it really happened.
Yes, I’m smiling but that’s because I’m high as a kite and thought it was bloody awesome that I couldn’t feel my legs but they looked like 2 chunks of dough.
Note: no red lace.
Anywhere.
***Update: A reader has advised me that the photo of Jodi was actually taken during the christening, not straight out of hospital. My apologies. In the midst of all that emotion, I should’ve done further research. That’s what happens when you see red (lace). In any case, the context of this post still stands. I have no issues with mothers looking good and “making an effort”. I would just like to remind people that images like Jodi’s are the extreme exception and not necessary the rule when it comes to the realities of motherhood.***
Oh lovely lovely Grace – yes to all of it.
Though I thought it felt like lying on a lilo and having somebody rifle around in your stomach as if you were a handbag and the baby the keys that can’t be located while my floated somewhere higher than the roof. Really effin’ odd, especially when naked bar a blue cap.
They never gave me the red lace option. Bloody hospital.
And do check out ‘Hot Potato’ by ASRC if you’re looking for great docos at the moment.
And you’re awesome. Just sayin’ x
God this is infuriating. No wonder new mums feel like complete failures so often, with unrealistic pressure from Barbie Dolls. Seriously, when I had my first baby I had a face full of exzema, a bloated tummy from a C-sec ( which, yes Alison felt exactly like someone rummaging in my handbag for my keys Blurrggh) and boobs the size of mountains. I couldn’t tell you what I wore home from hospital but I’m certain it had round wet milk stains over my nipples and an elastic waist.
( and just quietly, Gwenneth Paltrow needs to just shut the fuck up. I have consciously uncoupled from anything that idiot has to say)
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Well said sweet its this kind show that gives mothers new, three kids in and so frealing tired to boot such a warped sense of reality on how motherhood, post baby, pre baby and just life in general is. Its god damn crazy.
Thank you.
xD
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I hadn’t seen this photo. I don’t see the prob having it taken – if I was loaded and able to afford the clothes, the make-up, the time and had the ability to keep my eyes open after having a bub, it would be nice to have a nice photo of me with my newborn – but the comments make me see red (lace). How does she do it? Make-up artist and money! I wish I looked like that when I had my baby? I bet Jodi Gordon didn’t look like that when she had her baby. And I’m sure she’d admit it, too. I hope so, anyway.
As for me, I didn’t wear make-up when I left hospital. I could barely walk! Two weeks later I was still hobbling around curled over. Very glam. As for the birth, I’m pretty sure if you put a photo of me in the theatre next to a photo of a beached whale, the whale would get the better comments. x
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Well said, Grace! I think you struck the balance just right. I love keeping it real… because real is beautiful! Look at you in that pic! I love your smile!
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I don’t know who Jodi Gordon is, but what I thought when I saw that picture was, you poor woman. Knowing that her photo is highly likely to end up on a magazine cover or at the very least spread all over the Internet, the poor thing has had to ask her hubby to pick a nice dress out of her closet to bring into the hospital, and then had to try and cover up her blotchy skin and bags under her eyes with a ton of make up. Probably whatever was in her handbag when she went into labour. Or worse, whatever her husband brought in with that dress he picked out. Minutes before this was taken she was screaming at him, you picked red lace? I haven’t worn this in 10 years! Did you not see the elastic waisted slacks lying on the bed ready to go?
Love your work as always Grace!
Kinda think there’s something wrong with a womans self esteem if she requires that much make up and hair styling right after giving birth.
xx
WOOHOO go Grace, I love it, I LOVE IT! I wonder if it’s a cast of “ho dost protest too much” eg they go overboard because they don’t have the confidence to just be themselves, to show us reality because if they do they’ll have to accept it themselves? LACE and newborns, are like fun and run to me, shouldn’t even be in the same sentence!
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awesome Grace…. give me Princess Kate and Pinks fat after birth real tummys anyday.. my babies were born to be loved not become accessories to lace..
I loved this post Grace and so incredibly true. That photo of Jodi is actually quite hideous IMO, unrealistic! I was just happy to be walking around after having my babies!! Love your work x
Love you Grace for saying it how it really is/ the truth xx
Love that photo – of you – you really look radiant (if a little exhausted). What strikes me about the photo of Jody Gordon is that it is a photo of Jody – she takes up 3/4 of the image – her beautiful newborn baby is relegated to an accessory to her red lacy (still sexy) look. If I had ever been fortunate enough to have the experience of giving birth (whether by C section or natural delivery) I would be proudly holding my baby in the centre of the photograph to say ‘see this miracle we managed to create’! You have me fired up on this, I think I have a new perspective to add to this whole ‘celebrities who care so much about their image and just like to make the rest of us feel bad’ debate.
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Spot on Grace. I hadn’t seen this photo before, but I am SOOO over all the celebrity post baby pics and comments. I get ranty over this whole issue, particularly as our baby boy was born around the same time as Prince George and Kim Kardashian’s little North South East West as I would see pics of them looking fantastic as the weight just ‘fell off’ meanwhile I felt permanently attached to a breast pump or baby, whilst trying to keep a toddler entertained.
Like you my babies were delivered through the sun roof and I’m so glad I was warned about the ‘tugging’ sensations before my first caesar as it really is a freaky feeling!!
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I bet she’s wearing trackie dakkies on the bottom. 😉
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Hahaha love it Grace! I love your photo too, its capturing the moment. 🙂
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Yep, I am totally a fan of keepin it real! No normal person without tons of money and a personal army of assistants and stylists and photoshop artists actually looks like that! I don’t see the point in sugar coating it, it just sets us all up for a fall, these unrealistic portrayals of life.
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Grace, you are amazing! I am in the middle of writing a similar post about the pressure on women to look good during pregnancy. Yes Jodi looks great but as you said, who wants to look like that?? Loved reading this x
Oh well, good to hear this wasn’t a hospital piccy. Do you remember a while ago Mrs Woog got people to post their just-given-birth pix on her Facebook page… loved those shots!! Very very real.
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Yes, yes , yes! Seriously, I hope one day an mum actress will take the stand to pose in normal clothes, hair not not done and no make up. I’m sure women will relate much more to her and love her rather than stupidly envy her. This is not reality. I’m sure she spent an hour with someone making her make up. I would love to know your thoughts about Shakira and Beyonce making these sexy videos. There’s been a lot of controversy around them.
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The photo of you in hospital is lovely!!! I could not believe Jodi’s photo either… but I actually think she looks really beautiful and happy. And I must say that I am loving her red dress and lipstick! xxx
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Hi
Instead of ranting, if you actually had done your research, you would realise that she was at a friend’s party and not just out of hospital. This is the problem with public forums and self important blog writers. You think you can write anything about a ‘celebrity’ you don’t know. Get your facts straight before you write rubbish.
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Hi Jessica,
Thanks for pointing out something I had already corrected in my post.
This is what happens when you read “rubbish” from “self-important” blog writers (which you can shorten to “bloggers”, by the way).
You end up wasting your own valuable time to read it AND leave a comment yet miss out the main point of the argument.
Thanks for the clicks and have a great day!
you are aware that jodi gordon had her baby on 2nd of april??? thats FOUR WEEKS AGO.
I MEANT SECOND OF MARCH!
THANK YOU THAT YOU HAD TO FEEL TO CORRECT YOUR MISTAKE OF DATES IN BLOCK LETTERS BECAUSE THAT’S NOT ANNOYING 🙂
I think you need to listen to what these very important people, who make a living by pretending to be someone else, have to say…and then just ignore them.
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I agree…they are the exception!
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