Howdy ho!
Time for another FYBF Featured Flogger – Vanessa from Babbling Bandit!
Never short of an honest, authentic opinion, Vanessa can be as controversial as they come with her addiction to overshare but she writes with the same purpose that many of us do; for therapy.
Please welcome her into the FYBF spotlight and leave lots of comment love.
And afterwards, feel free to catch more of her candid, off the cuff stuff on Twitter and Facebook.
Harness or leash? It’s a personal choice really
I’ve noticed a few judgey FB conversations lately about parents who put their kids in toddler harnesses. There was also an article on iVillage this week on the same topic. It’s a personal choice to restrain your child on a leash and one I made without a second’s thought.
You see Ned was a bolter. From the moment he started walking he was off! At daycare they called him the Energizer Bunny and his carers in the nursery would look at me with sympathy as I tried to round him up at the end of the day.
I knew the toddler harness was controversial but I thought, stuff it, I want an alive kid on a leash rather than a squished one on the road. We live right on the edge of the Sydney CBD. There’s a lot of traffic. And there’s no way I could always contain Ned in a stroller – he had energy to burn!
There was one incident, however, that my little boy on the leash sent flushes of red across my cheeks: Meeting a friend for lunch at a city foodcourt Ned and I lined up to order a sandwich. With the leash in one hand I was focused on ordering when I felt a tugging around my wrist. I turned around and at eye level saw two young men in suits looking down with smiles on their faces. Looking down to see what was so funny I was mortified to find my little boy on the leash on all fours, licking the ground and panting with his tongue hanging out, the occassional bark coming from him. He was playing right into the hands of the toddler harness naysayers!
While embarrassing at times, that leash allowed Ned to run around our neighbourhood for fun and for exercise, while keeping him safe from the road and my anxiety to a minimum.
What do you think of the toddler leash harness? Use it or no way?
Ned and me in Hyde Park
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Congratulations Vanessa , well done!!! 🙂 🙂
Thank you for hosting Grace xxx
P.S loving the twins’ shots on Instagram , they’re adorable!
Sabeen recently posted..Fancy A Chutney ? Let’s Get Dippin’
Thanks Sabeen! V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Liven Vanessa. Her stories are both frightening, beautiful and heart wrenching all at once. Not many people can achieve that!
I’m a big fan of the toddler leash too. Better safe than sorry I say
EssentiallyJess recently posted..Done
Thanks Jess. That’s a lovely description of my writing. I really appreciate it. V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
I didn’t need to use the harness but a close friend of mine did. Her son was a massive bolter. I would happily take the reins when she popped to the loo. Whatever works. I can’t believe he went into dog mode! What a cheeky monkey!
Robomum recently posted..The white marble rock
Yeah, dog mode in public! Now he does girl cat mode at home, in public, at school, anywhere! At least I don’t have to put my 4.5 yo cat on a leash. V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Forgot to say congrats on being the Featured Blogger!
Robomum recently posted..The white marble rock
Thanks Robo!
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Hee hee that is so funny – I can just imagine my boys pretending to be dogs – even without a leash. I think they are a great idea, I might need to use mine for No.3 – I had one for No.2 but didn’t need it. Congrats on being featured, a very deserved blogger, love your blog, just wish I had more time to go back and read posts I’ve missed. Em x
Emily @ Have a laugh on me recently posted..It’s really not hard to spot a mother of three!
Thanks Emily! I know my posts can be long at times. Thanks for reading when you do. V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Totally understand the need for one sometimes. It’s hard to stop an active toddler from bolting and it can be so dangerous not just from cars, but from getting lost in the crowd!
Ai Sakura recently posted..Japan 2013 | Tokyo Disneyland Theme Park Adventure
Absolutely! I lost Ned in Target once and it was the scariest moment. Minutes felt like hours as I yelled out his name trying to find him amongst the clothes racks. I wished I’d had the reins on him then! V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Hi Vanessa. Great to meet you!
I was having this exact convo with a friend a few days ago. Her little man is a bolter. In fact, he bolted at the airport recently out into the path of a taxi. It was a very close call. They are great parents, active and the kids are generally well disciplined. Her little man just lacks attention in “busy” situations and therefore his world becomes dangerous. A harness for her is a must particularly when she is not only trying to contain an energetic toddler but is also carrying a baby and pulling along luggage. In many cases it’s a simple matter of safety.
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit recently posted..Day 1300 – Homeward Bound
For kids under two, two and a half, I don’t think it is a matter of discipline, they just don’t understand consequence. Ned would never lose sight of me in a crowd now. Even on his scooter, he never goes out of sight from me and always slows down when I yell for him to.
Glad to meet you too!
V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
I’m all for the child harness. A friend once said to me she doesn’t put her dogs on a leash to degrade them, but to keep them safe, so why should it be any different for a child. Dyllan has done the get down on all fours too. The kids sure know exactly how and when to embarrass us!
Awesome work on being the featured blogger!
Tegan recently posted..B is for Borderline
That’s a great way to look at it Tegan. Our job is to keep our kids safe and that is what, for a bolter, a harness facilitates.
Thanks!
V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Love how your son played it for all it was worth!
Hey, I think a toddler harness would be a godsend if you had more than one kid. I still remember my mum using one for us and I don’t think it did us any damage … 😉
Janet recently posted..Scooters, Gophers & Granny Mobiles
Ned has always had a good sense of humour, that is for sure! V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Vanessa – I so hear you! Our last son (Kyle is now 7) was exactly like your little man, Ned.
We had the “Monkey” harness because that was exactly what Kyle was…a huge Monkey who we lost many times. Our “Monkey” even came with a bell so that I could hear Kyle when he did walk away from us – he was that good at escaping he found out how to un-hook the arm band and take off from us!!!
There was so many times where we could not find Kyle so the harness was our way of keeping him alive and happy. And stuff what other people think – as long as my kids are healthy, happy and alive at the end of each day then I am happy 🙂
Lisa Wood recently posted..We Needed Today
I hear you! Ours was just called “The Bear”. I would use it again for another child in a heartbeat. Thanks for commenting! V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Hey Vanessa – interesting post. And congrats on your feature 🙂 I believe I had a harness when I was a kid – like Ned I was a bolter – curious, always seeking adventure, cheeky – I don’t think anything has changed. Maybe I need a harness now lol. Like you I believe it’s really an individual decision up to the parent – parents want the best for their child – who is anyone else to judge? x
Kim recently posted..Backing your dreams
Thanks for the congrats Kim. It certainly is up to the parents and it all depends on the child as well. Not all kids are bolters! V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
I would have wet myself laughing to see Ned do that!
I have no problem whatsoever with the leash/harness. As you say, an alive kid is much better than a squished kid! I’ve been seriously thinking about getting one for Punky in anticipation of PJ#2 coming along. Punky can be a bit of a runner too and considering we live on a main road and we have to walk along it to get to the nearest park, I know it would be just one less thing to worry about when I’m juggling two.
Congrats on featured flogger V, very well-deserved, you are certainly one of my must-read blogs!
Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions recently posted..Ooops! She’s Got it Again
Hey Kylez. Thanks for the congrats. You’re on my daily reads list too. With a second kid I reckon there’s even more of a reason to harness up a toddler. I don’t know how else you keep the bolter close to you while you’re giving attention to the bubba. V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
I used to be totally against them but these days I know that some kids just need them – my nephew was totally one of those kids that needed one – my sister never got one for him and as a result she’s been able to keep fit running after him. Luckily he’s ok in the pram or bike otherwise she’d never have gone anywhere.
Kyla recently posted..The Woman Beneath – Annaleis
Ned certainly kept me on my toes when I let him off the leash in the park…. oooh, that really does sound like I’m talking about a pet now doesn’t it! :>)
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Thanks for hosting yet another wonderful session Grace!!!
Congratulations Vanessa!!! Your little man sounds soooo cute and cheeky too!!! Love the fact how he really got into the role with the harness – although I can sympathetise and imagine you going red with the looks from strangers.
I personally do not use the harness but I’m not against it. We did receive on as a birthday present for the little one but haven’t got around to putting it to use. I don’t see why people have to pass judgements all the time on parents when I’m sure every parent has their children’s best interest at heart.
Looking forward to reading more about your adventures!
Winnie @ Bubfriendly recently posted..Little Bellies Fiddlesticks ( Cheese Flavour ) – Review and Giveaway!
Hi Winnie. I’m sure you are right – most parents do have their kids’ best interests at heart and their own sanity to think of. Thanks for commenting. V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Hey Vanessa, Congrats on being Featured Flogger! Love your blog. I totally get the harness thing. I haven’t needed it with my girls, but if they were bolters, I would have been straight onto it. Better safe than squished, right? I can totally imagine the dog scenario playing out if I had though – these two role play ALL the time. Little L regularly trots around the house barking with Little A on her back. Kinda cute, kinda scary. xx
Kim @Fallling Face First recently posted..Live from Pet Cemetery – Robopets, the way of the future?
Congrats on being the FYBF featured blogger Vanessa! You deserve it beautiful lady. I love reading your blog. So real and relevant. Thank you for your honesty and vivid writing style.
I have a bolter too and decided to put a harness on him while on a long outing in the city. We got many jeers and stares not realising the huge stigma attached. I didn’t care, I wanted to keep my little man safely beside me every minute. Those with judgement in their eyes have never experienced the absolute panic felt when your child runs onto a busy road in a flash, or disappears in busy shopping centre. The heart never forgets that awful feeling, and no amount of judgement will ever override it.
Thank you again Grace for hosting FYBF – I always love reading it!
Little Cottage Big Life recently posted..How The Biggest Loser Saved My Life
Hey Claudia. I also got some weird looks when Ned was in his harness but his safety always comes first so I ignored them. Thanks for the congrats. It’s such an honour to be here on Grace’s wonderful blog. V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Ah hah hah – that’s hysterical. My youngest likes to lick disgusting surfaces too!!! And was also a bolter, as was her older sister, so we had one of those harnesses too. I would not go in a shop without one. Both my girls actually loved wearing it too, weirdly. I cannot for the life of me see what anyone could complain about it – as you say, they mustn’t know what it’s like to have a child who is with you one second, gone the next, and in 20 seconds has covered 100 metres and crossed a major road. (Yes that is a personal experience.) I am sure that this fearlessness and adventurous spirit will one day be wonderful qualities, but until then, “if you love it then you’d better put a leash on it”. Sung to Beyonce, and applies to toddlers only 🙂
Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..What not to say to ageing parents
Ned went through a phase of licking everything! Even now at 4 and a half years old I will find him with his open mouth leaning against a surface (eg the glass cabinet at the bakery). I don’t so much worry about what germs he will collect rather the kiss marks all over the glass he leaves behind!
He is not as fearless as he was as a little toddler as he is much more aware of what the consequences of losing mummy are. Though he is confident and self assured which are traits I’m very glad he has.
V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
I love this post! We do have a harness, but my son HATES it. The first time we used it he just looked at me as if to say ‘are you serious??’ and ran the other way. We used it briefly on my eldest daughter, but I found that if I yanked on it, she fell over (double bad-mummy points!) . They do seem to work well for some people though – and I agree, rather a toddler on a leash than on the road!
Lara @ This Charming Mum recently posted..Review: Things I didn’t expect when I was expecting by Monica Dux
It is difficult if the kid hates it. Ned was always given the choice – stroller or The Bear. I did the same with the yanking in the early days. I soon learnt to take it a little easier on him. Thanks for the comment. V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
I don’t harness, but I could use a muzzle sometimes. We were recently asked not to lick other children at football….. and to stop kissing the other kids.
Harness, no harness, I reckon a muzzle would get some looks.
Congrats on the feature….. nice to meet you x
Mrs Holsby recently posted..Mrs H talks to Kim, the Submissive
Nice to meet you too Mrs Holsby. I’ve only just recently found your blog and I love it. V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
Congrats for being the featured flogger Vanessa. Love your blog. There was one day I came across it and read your back story. I was on the edge of my seat. I can’t remember if I commented? If not – I should have!! You have come a long way girl. You should be so proud. Regarding the harness. If you have a bolter – YES use it! Safety first I say! Nothing wrong with them at all. Min xo
Min recently posted..Flashback Friday: October 1983
Hey Min. I’m glad my story kept you on the edge of your seat. If I’m going to get anything from the heartache it might as well be a great story! V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern art
I used a toddler harness for my first son over 20 years ago. He was a bolter, like Ned, and with my younger son in the pram the harness was the best way to keep the ‘runner’ in check. 20 years on, I’m pretty sure he has no negative psychological issues relating to being on a ‘leash’ 🙂
Earlier this month I was at the local shopping centre and i saw a young couple open a brand new harness, a cute teddy backpack, and fit it to their toddler. I went up to them and reaffirmed their purchase, I told them that this was one of the BEST inventions. Yay, they received positive feedback before encountering any nay-sayers 🙂
Mum of Adult Kids recently posted..Travel bug
We had the teddy bear backpack too. It was definitely a winner. I wouldn’t hesitate to use it again! V.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..Writing as therapy: When the self saboteur comes visiting
Actually – I would use it on my mom if she’d let me! Instead of pulling her grandchildren back – she runs off with them. Anyway, I say, “Whatever gets the job done! To hell with what other people think.”
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Love each of these steam showers
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