Today’s a big day in this household. We’re facing another momentous change. I’m torn between two minds as to whether I should actually be excited or just plain sad.
It’s the twinlets’ first day at daycare.
A part of me sees this as a great opportunity for me. I can truly hope for some days ahead filled with a partially freed up schedule and a chance to sort out my career. I should be ecstatic. I know I should be.
But I can’t help myself from shedding a few tears.
Because there’s that poignant question that every mother asks when she sees her once tiny babies take the next step to independence:
“Where the hell did the time go ?”
And it’s hard to believe that at the tender age of 2, I will already be packing their lunches, dropping them off and picking them up from “school” and having “what do I need to prepare for tomorrow” conversations with the “teacher”.
Was I naive to think that I still had years before having to let my little ones go ?
Yesterday afternoon after waking from his nap, as I picked up K-Bear from his cot, we had this “moment”. We locked eyes and as we gave each other a loving look, he just leaned over and kissed me. Just like that. Without any prompting. It was precious.
And I guess that’s just the bittersweet about them growing up. They’re developing this conscious level of tenderness that can only melt your heart, yet at the same time, they insist that you let go of their hand. Or their little bodies squirm out of your arms, demanding that you to put them down so they can walk on their own.
I know they’ll be fine on their first day. In fact, I’m sure they’ll thrive.
But I know that for most of the day, I’ll be wondering: “Where did the days go ? ”