In theory, this could be a post with nothing but wallow and self-pity.
But even I’m sick of hearing about my own woes.
It’s these arduous stages of motherhood when it’s almost impossible to keep the eye on the prize.
Having the twinions sick and at home on separate occasions has been an unexpected opportunity to discover how the little cogs in their heads churn.
Witnessing them rationalize thoughts; deciphering complicated emotions with their quirky individual forms of expression.
Although, I don’t want this particular era will be marked as an ominous haze. Not only do I want to remember that there were “good bits”, I don’t want to forget what they were.
There was the defining moment at bedtime, when I asked K-Bear how his day at school was. Had he missed his sick brother who had to stay at home?
“Yeah,” was his sad reply.
“But I got him back, Mama. I got him back…”
Taking count of all the nights my slumber was interrupted with Nunu lying beside me in bed, kicking and digging his bony knees into my stomach.
“Nunu…stop it,” I roll over and moan.
“But Mama, I love you. I love you…”
The innocent proclaims of love humbles me.
As the early morning rays peer through the window, he contentedly smiles in his sleep and I find myself wishing I could step into his dreams, share his adventures of dinosaurs and dragons.
The thing is, I can stay resentful and frustrated with the random relentless coughing spells and the turbulent bouts of fevers that keep me up all night.
In these trying situations, I can continue to profusely demand the intangible prizes – time, freedom, autonomy – that a resigning, tired mother is so deserving of.
Surprisingly, there aren’t any.
There’s a scatter of hidden gems, instead.
To find them – to have them inconspicuously surface – is to surrender and accept the current situation. Embrace it, even.
What hidden gems have your kids helped you discover lately?
Joining Essentially Jess for #IBOT