Friendship: History Isn’t Everything

by mamagrace71 on July 29, 2014

I’ve been thinking about friendships a lot lately. One in particular that has sadly reached its demise.

History isn't everything

A collaborated past built through childhood, school, mutual friends and family. Adolescence, weddings, babies; the life changing experiences surmising a friendship’s longevity.

But if it’s no longer working (and hasn’t been for a while), why should the test of time be the only resounding reason to stick around?

Not that it should account for nothing but why should it account for everything?

Especially when that’s all that’s left, a history, when the sole standing excuse is: “But we’ve been through so much together”.

Long before marriage and in the midst of epic failing relationships, I wrote a list for what defined a life-long partner.

Even if unsure of the qualities of my ideal person , I was absolutely certain about the ones I didn’t want.

Same with friendships.

There can only be positives in perceiving what the unwanted negatives are.

As I refuse to doubt what I am capable of offering to a friend, I’m no longer willing to settle for anything less.

Effort shouldn’t be tiring

All friendships – new and old – require effort. What’s a genuine friendship without stepping into our own inconveniences to suit the needs of another.

But every friendship is an investment. Whether we expect it or not, at some point, we need to be able to dip into the savings of its bank account.

If we need to ask or wonder when there’s going to be a return, then it’s time to close the account.

History isn't everything 3

Mutual respect…is it overrated?

Maybe I’m a bit of an old fashioned fool with twinges of immature high school tendencies but if I introduce someone as my best friend, I would expect that title to be honoured and well, you know, reciprocated.

Am I being over dramatic? Placing too much importance into something insignificant? I thoroughly thought this through.

And perhaps “reading too much into things” is detrimental. But certain standards and expectations in mutual respect and value shouldn’t be.

Does it still serve a purpose?

Friendships can be paths that cross when we need them most then turn at completely opposite directions. And that’s okay. At a point where there is no longer mutual benefit, why stay on the same road?

This isn’t to say that the situation is at a stalemate. Just as paths separate, sometimes they cross again.

History isn't everything 2

Friendships simply reflect the fluidity of life. The past holds the memories and the lessons that get us to where we are today, to help us where we need to get to in the future.

Nothing stays the same. If it does, we’re not evolving.

And as the infamous saying goes, except death and taxes, nothing is permanent. Not even a friendship.

Joining Essentially Jess for IBOT



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FYBF – The Retro Edition

by mamagrace71 on July 25, 2014

Bored, exhausted and desperate for company, a Mama of newborn twins started scouring the interwebz for inspiration.  Recipes or crafty tips didn’t do it for her.  Not even p*rn. 

After much stalking, er, researching, she came across the “Australian Mummy Bloggers” website.

“Huh. What’s the blogging malarkey about?” she wondered skeptically.

Clicking here and there, she finally landed on a page that would significantly change her mummy life and open cyber doors that would eventually lead to a real life outside dirty nappies and projectile vomit.

There the Mama discovered a pocket rocket who wrote posts about vaginas for “funsies” and vlogged about a Dyson akin to a sex tape.  (But a classy one, of course…)

Who else can make vacuuming sensual?

“I need to meet this live wire,” the Mama thought.

And in a smoky, dark karaoke room, she finally met her (Titanic) match.


The rest, as they say…is bloggy history.

The years have rolled, #FYBF hostesses have changed several hands, blogs come and go and some get bigger than Ben Hur…but #FYBF remains strong and proud.

Today we go retro.

We return to that very first #FYBF post from the founder herself, the mostly cheeky, ever charming Brenda Gaddi…

Brenda Gaddi

Posted: 25/02/2010 (!!!)

I have started my own meme. Because I can. Hah.

Pardon the arseholish title. I am still a bit peeved about Echo not meeting my over-the-top expectations.


Fear not my darlings for I have just installed a new commenting system called DISQUS (pronounced as discuss, clever huh?). What?!?! I did say on my last post that I might install a new one. And, if you know me in real life. Might means 90% yes. So just play along. But, if this one goes all moodycow on us again. Then I’ll just exercise my power of delete, curse, delete, swear. Capiche?

Back to my meme.
Y’all know I am all about pimping promoting my blog. And of course your blog. Ahem. Also, I am always on the lookout for interesting blogs to follow and read. My husband gave me a Kindle as a Christmas present last year and guess what, I still have yet to finish one book. Sigh. But my google reader though, a different story altogether. I always ALWAYS find the time to catch up on my blog reading. That’s not weird, right?

And so today I’d like to honour all the flagrant blog whores out there. I know I am not the only one. Yes, yes? Please join me in the very first dun dun dun FlogYoBlog Friday meme. *throws a shitload of confetti into the air*

Rules are fairly simple:
  • Follow my blog (this one is actually optional, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Blog following is a personal thing. And if my blog is not your cup of tea then I’m totally cool with that. Seriously, I am. Just know that you are breaking my heart. Breaking my heart, you hear. Huhuhu.)
  • Grab my bubbly button (this one is required. Because, I have spent HOURS designing it. So please be so kind and post it on your lovely blog’s sidebar. Thankus.)
  • Link up your blog’s URL in the MckLinky malinky below. And if you want to put up the links on your blog, you are more than welcome to. Just follow the instructions on the linky thingy.
  • Take the time to check out the other linky-ers and go visit their blogs. Give them some blogluvin and follow them. Only if you want to. Just please follow at least one linky-er/blogger. Okay?
  • The list will be open for linky-ers from 8AM-12PM Sydney Time every Friday.
  • A new and fresh MckLinky list will open every friday. And you have to link up AGAIN. Because the previous link won’t carry over to the next week. Once the list is closed, it’s closed. Got it?
  • And lastly, have lotsa fun!
  • And ooh, invite your bloggy friends to participate.
Were you around during the early days of #FYBF? What the hell was/is “Echo”? When and how did you meet your bloggy buddies IRL (in real life)? Have you ever made out with a vacuum cleaner?
Digital Parents are on the look out for Featured Bloggers! Contact Kristyn ( to express your interest. Your blog and pretty face gets the full fan fair treatment so get cracking!

1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

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FYBF – The Name That Tune Edition

July 18, 2014

Following last week’s discussion on songs and the ones that leave powerful, emotional memories, I had this mad idea to play the guitar and sing my version of a current hit. Mad because, I haven’t taken a guitar lesson since the 4th grade.  Even madder still because the only songs I can actually play are […]

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Getting to the Core and the Pelvic Floor

July 15, 2014

***This is a sponsored post for The Continence Foundation of Australia. All opinions are my own, just like my bladder control issues.*** Speaking to my personal trainer the other day (“Hi, Elle!”) about the mind and body’s connection to self-confidence, she made an interesting point. Our confidence doesn’t come from the heart or head. The […]

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FYBF – The Soundtrack of Life Edition

July 11, 2014

As it is with many others, music has played a huge part in life for as long as I can remember. While my late nanny, Bibi Koya remembers my brothers as fussy eaters, her biggest memory of me is a non-stop dancing and singing toddler. Not much has changed, especially in a Karaoke studio.  Ahems. […]

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Age is an attitude

July 8, 2014

While my regular trainer was away on honeymoon, her replacement was a strapping young man who felt he had to keep reminding me that at 22, he was still a spring chicken. Why? I’m not quite sure but I let him gloat. I was getting ready to do 150 kg leg presses when I decided […]

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FYBF – The Silver Fox Edition

July 4, 2014

Silver Fox (according to the good book of Urban Dictionary): “An attractive older man. Generally, one that has gray hair and is often desired by younger women.” We established last week that being a screaming, hysterical teenage girl fan is possibly healthy and normal.  There’s plenty of evidence these girls grow up to be successful, […]

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Racism on public transport

July 3, 2014

Yet another incident of racism on public transport has been reported. A woman on the NSW Central Coast train line started hurling racist abuse at an innocent Asian passenger.  Another passenger captured it on video and what comes out of this lady’s profane mouth is beyond shocking. We’re in disbelief that a country as “multi-cultural” as Australia […]

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Home Improvement {$75 Westfield Voucher Giveaway}

July 1, 2014

***This post was written in partnership with Newcastle Permanent who also provided the giveaway prize.  All opinions are solely my own.*** Considering its construction was back in the 1920’s, our first home has served us well over the past 5 years.   It’s the house we returned to after getting engaged on our Bali holiday. […]

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FYBF – The Boy Band Edition

June 27, 2014

Every generation has one.  In the 60’s, it was The Beatles. Dominating the mid 90’s, who can forget JT’s humble beginnings with N’Sync? With that hair, it was obviously waaay before he was bringing sexy back. These days, you simply can’t avoid #1D (How very cool and 2014 am I to use their hashtag???). A […]

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