FYBF – The Non Poker Face

Work’s going well. So well in fact, the job is now a permanent position.

Hallelujah for steady income.

Prior to signing on the dotted line, though there was the discussion of expectations – the number of clients I needed to sign up, the number of weekly visits I needed to make.

In previous roles, I would’ve blindly accepted them, no matter how unrealistic. And boy, would that get me into some sticky situations.

Being in sales, your performance, or lack thereof, is completely exposed.

There were some colleagues who were cunningly clever inflating their projected sales figures or exaggerating business opportunities.

A part of me was kind of jealous.

I was way too honest. And while others were able to hang on to their jobs with their hidden truths, I actually lost mine.

I just don’t have a very good poker face.

What you see, is what you get.

I don’t say that with defensive or defiant intentions.  I am a self proclaimed demonstrative, emotional beast.

I can’t smile without showing teeth (unless I’m stuffing my face with pepperoni pizza).

FYBF - The Non Poker Face

I have eyebrows that arch subconsciously (saved for those “WTF???” moments).

With this job, however, it was time to be up front. Time to put my transparency to good use.

I let my boss know that the expectations were way too high. I’d do my best to try and get there but if these expectations were inded a deal breaker, then they’d best find someone else for the job.

Deep breath.

Hit “Send”

I shouldn’t say I was surprised by the response because coming clean should always be a good thing, right?

But I was.

Ecstatic, even.

My boss’ reply was measured but fair. In the end, we changed some figures around which made me happier.

Not only because the expecations were now a lot more realistic but it was a great example of non- poker face success.

Then came the satisfied feeling of being in control, setting up my own work goals at the pace I can – or care to – handle.

Life isn’t about working towards what others think you should do or be.

A battle at times but being true to yourself and transparent to others sets you up for a life claiming your own successes. Whatever you perceive them to be.

Do you have a poker face? Can you smile without showing teeth? What’s your favourite pizza topping?

P.S NEW FYBF BUTTON!!! GRAB IT!!

With Some Grace

1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

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FYBF – Crying on cue

My friend and prolific freelance writer, Catherine asked me a little while ago if I’d be a willing guinea pig for her upcoming article about the health benefits in having a good cry.

As part of the experiment, I needed to watch three sad movies back to back.

Bring it on.

Finally tucking the kids to bed at around 8 on a Sunday night, I lit some candles, burnt some eucalyptus oil incense, propped up the nest of surrounding pillows and prepared for the self perpetuated emotional embroilment.

Why would anyone deliberately open themselves up to raw, painful vulnerability like that, you may ask.

And it’s a very good question.

FYBF - Crying on cue

As strange as it sounds, being asked to cry on cue seemed like a perfect opportunity to clear out unexplainable, emotional cobwebs.

This might sound really wacky – wanky, even – but do you ever feel sometimes doesn’t feel quite right inside? That only a solid session of weeping will help; like your soul needs a complete cleanse?

I took my selection of movies very seriously. I didn’t want to choose anything I had already seen or any of the mainstream tear jerkers.

The Lovely Bones:

This movie started as eerily scary rather than sad. Based on a novel by Alice Sebold, the dialogue is extremely powerful and memorable. With continuous themes of tragic, sudden death, the after life, mourning and letting go – the movie stirred up and woke that underlying grief I constantly hold for my cousin who passed away. Yup. There were lots of tears.

The Prince of Tides:

A recommendation from Mr Surfer, this is a story of a love that’s not meant to be. Going back to certain childhood stories, it talks about facing your past demons and accepting your vulnerabilities. And geez, it sure made me aware of my own.

Terms of Endearment:

Everyone lists this one of the all time saddest movies ever. Curiosity got the better of me and I watched it to understand why. A very long movie, I was wondering what the fuss was all about. By 1:30am and three quarters through, I was ready to switch it off but then the tragedy unfolded, with a huge impact. By the end, I was a complete mess.

Way past 2am, completely drained emotionally, I crawled into bed. My eyes were red and puffy and my head was throbbing. Didn’t help that I had to be up by 6am for a gym session.

Surprisingly, I slept deeply, albeit briefly. I woke up feeling energetic and strangely “lighter”. Thoughts felt much clearer and I remember that my writing seemed to naturally flow that day. By early evening I was exhausted and I slept solid that night.

Watching three movies back to back was intense, I admit. Next time, two will be suffice. And yes, to make sure to let my emotions surface and get some much needed “airing”, there will be a next time.

What are some of your favourite sad movies? When did you last let yourself cry? Was it cathartic?

1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

 

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FYBF – Mah sistah from another mistah

Going by the old adage, “If you make friends with yourself, you’ll never be alone”, I love running long distances on my own.

 

Maybe I like the idea of not feeling obliged to try and keep up with someone else’s pace. It comes back to this innate fear of letting people down.

 

And while I’ve made great friends through running, I’ve never had a close buddy who shared the sense of adventure with me.

 

Until last Sunday’s 10 km Sydney Harbour Run.

FYBF - Mah sistah from another mistah

 

Brenda – mah sistah from another mistah – has not only taken up running, but in a short year now loves it more than I ever have.

 

The crazy gal is running her first marathon this year.

 

While I could easily get jealous of that kind of tenacity and determination, it’s actually inspiring.

 

And then, there are the weird and wonderful things you discover on race day:

 

  • For your pre-race jitters pee, you have a friend to run into the men’s toilets because the ladies’ line is as long as the Great Wall of China. Never mind the puzzled look from the users at the urinals, look down, run straight into the loo, do your thang, then run the hell out of there…giggling like stupid school girls.

 

  • Throughout the entire 10kms, she was my cheering squad (“Come on G…just shuffle, shuffle, shuffle…”) and I hers, (“Go, B! Go, B! Go, B!)

 

  • You can both share your love of being camera sluts, hogging every official race photographer with goofy grins and peace signs.

FYBF - Mah sistah from another mistah 2

 

  • The Negative Nellies inside your head will almost succeed in slowing you down in the freezing, blistering cold wind. But then your running sistah will make sure you “move those legs” and get to the finishing line under 65 minutes, damn it.

 

  • You have someone to have jubilant, triumphant hugsies with at the finish line, pretending you just won gold at the Olympics. Then, promptly crash to reality when scolded by the Race Marshal to “Move along now! Don’t block the finish line!”
  • She loves you for you. It’s not just about the run but the chance to share an adventure. No matter how much of a slow poke you are, she sticks to her word and crosses the line with you. Together.

FYBF - Mah sistah from another mistah 3

 

Yup. Mah running sistah from another mistah.

Who’s your sistah from another mistah? What’s the most memorable adventure you’ve shared with them? Have you ever used the men’s toilets?

1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

 

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FYBF – Persistence and Portuguese custard tarts

Some of you may recall the time – when work life was still very new – after a sales call I walked back to my car, only it wasn’t mine.

It made great entertainment for the retired old men sitting outside at a café nearby.

Despite all that humiliation, I didn’t close the deal.

I didn’t give up, though. Every time I drove by that particular office, I’d remind myself that the timing just wasn’t right.

So, off I went closing other deals as well as dealing with other rejections.

 

FYBF - Persistence and Portuguese Custard Tarts 3

Dem be the nature of sales.

Wednesday morning proved that timing was everything.

As it happened, I was back in conversation with said potential client.

Emailing back and forth to lock in a time to meet, he hadn’t replied to my last email suggesting a 10:30am meeting.

It was back to being a dud opportunity.

Never mind, I’d just have extra time to work from home until my next appointment at noon.

Or so I thought.

Still getting the hang of possessing two mobiles, at exactly 9:15am – with screaming kids who were nowhere near ready for daycare – instinct told me to check my work phone.

And yup, there was a message from said potential client, confirming we were on for 10:30am and in fact, could we make it earlier, say, 10:15??

Panic stations.

I called him back apologizing that my phone had been recharging…ahem. But yes, of course, I could be there in an hour.

I was still in my PJ’s. His office was at least half an hour away.

Miraculously, I made it – with a minute to spare.

He had no inkling to the madness I had just gone through to get there.

Sales rule #2,567 – fake it till you make it.

My client suggested we have our discussion next door at The Majestic – a once roller skating rink turned theatre turned café/restaurant/grocer and soon to include a wine bar and restaurant.

FYBF - Persistence and Portuguese custard tarts

Over the best Italian coffee I’ve ever had in a long time and the fluffiest and lightest of Portuguese custard tarts, I closed the deal.

In fact, we did 2 rounds of coffee and tarts. You know, to really celebrate.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get a change to take photos of the little pastry pieces of heaven. You’re just going to have to take my word for it.

I even went back that afternoon to buy some for take away but they had sold out.

That’s how awesome these babies are.

FYBF - Persistence and Portuguese custard tarts

And that my friends, is what makes persistence worth it.

The Portuguese custard tarts.

Have you ever tried one? Did you have a foodgasm too? When has persistence paid off for you?

1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

 

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FYBF – Highs and lows

Once in a while, when the mood strikes and the inspiration thunderbolt hits, Friday comes along and I feel I have something substantial to offer FYBF.

Today is not one of those days.

Monday afternoon was spent being poked and prodded, including my lady bits down there. I’m pretty sure all is okay but just to be extra sure, I also went in for a blood test. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate needles?

Bit of a low on the health front.

Tuesday was my day with the twinions. Fascinated by their butts, they particularly enjoy shaking them  right up to their Mama’s face who couldn’t keep it straight and serious if she tried.

So, I invented the Platypus Pout. THAT was definitely a Mama high.

FYBF - Highs and Lows

Wednesday things were looking up. My contribution post at Her Collective went live. I wrote about me and my family’s migrant story. Well, one aspect of it anyway.

It was one of those “tears at the keyboard” kinda posts, pouring my entire heart.

So, when I actually submitted in to Brenda and the team, I was a little apprehensive how it would be received. Stories about cultural differences, hardships and experiences with prejudice, isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I get that.

I had nothing to worry about, though. The sweet, supportive comments received were my personal high for the week.

There’s a really lovely community happening over at Her Collective with lots of insightful, informative articles. Go check it out if you haven’t yet.

HC header big

Thursday came thundering in with three new customer sign ups. Yipee! Reporting the good news to my boss, she had better news to give me.

“Would I be interested in attending an overseas work conference?” she asked.

“Have a think about it, ” she said.

Er, no thinking needed! I’d be going!

Professional high for the week? BIG tick.

Then last night, my blog broke. After three hours of ping pong live chats with techie geeks on the other side of the world who kept telling me the issue wasn’t on THEIR side, we found out, guess what? The issue was on the THEIR side.

Bloggy low!!

HUGE thanks to MummyK who dropped everything – including her game of Hey Day – to help me out. Mwah!

Friendship high!

I’m shouting her a movie ticket to Magic Mike XXL. Channing Tatum’s abs would make a much nicer present but well, she’s going to have to settle for the big screen.

Hummana hummana…

How was your week? Highs? Lows? Do you hate needles too? Are you going to see Magic Mike XXL?

1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

 

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Who made the beautiful rainbow

Raised under a strict Christian upbringing, there’s one little song that my mum taught me as a little girl. Moving to Australia not too long after, I was able to sing the English version of it too.

The melody was pure and the lyrics simple:

Who made the beautiful rainbow?

I know, I know.

God made the beautiful rainbow,

That’s why I love Him so.

Who Made The Beautiful Rainbow

Last year, I took great pride in teaching it to the twinions, feeling like I had passed something on to the next generation, kinda thing.

This past weekend, as I watched my Facebook feed light up with rainbow colours, that song came back to my mind and how this time, it had a whole brand new and exciting meaning.

I wish every Christian fundamentalist who was against marriage equality could see beyond the black and white of what depicts a “Christian marriage” – a sanctimonious right exclusively between a man and a woman.

I also wish people would look back at history and see that marriage came into existence long before it was a Christian concept. That in fact, for centuries prior to Christianity, marriage was a business transaction; it was a symbol of social status.

It was a way to make sure the assets you and your family had – livestock, dowries, housing – would safely and rightfully stay put.

As a Christian who truly believes that God is about love, I don’t think marriage is about gender. If it was, then it’s only based on human interpretation.

No doubt that last sentence will upset a lot of Christians.  So be it.

What is consistent and stated with complete clarity is that God is also about complete and unconditional acceptance; that He created all men (and women) equal.

That He also created the beautiful rainbow with equality; with the same freedom and right to love.

Joining Essentially Jess for #IBOT

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FYBF – I Dreamed a Dream

Finally cashing in on my Mothers Day presents a few weekends ago, Mr Surfer and I went to see a performance of the timeless “Les Misérables”.

FYBF - I Dreamed a Dream 2

Prior to the big epic Oscar winning movie version, I had very little clue to its plot, or shall I say, multi-layered themes. Yet, I do remember being blown away by the character Fantine.

It’s been argued whether Anne Hathaway’s gave full musical theatre justice when she sang, “I Dreamed A Dream”.

(To be honest, I had more issues with Russell Crowe’s performance…)

Just as she was winning the battle to stave off critics, Hathaway was literally caught with her pants down (or more accurately, off) during a red carpet commando wardrobe malfunction.  Of course the photos went cray cray viral.

Matt Lauer – some douchebag American morning TV show host with similar bigoted arrogance to Sunrise’s Kochie – tried to get tongue in cheek about it.

“Anne, we’ve seen a lot of you recently…”

If there’s any performance that claims Anne Hathaway’s right to an Oscar, it was her response:

“…I’m sorry that we live in a culture that commodifies sexuality of unwilling participants, which brings us back to Les Mis because that’s what the character Fantine is. She is someone who is forced to sell sex to benefit her child because she has nothing and there’s no social safety net…”

Bam!

I was honoured and privileged to attend a special event at Government House this week.

Fitted For Work celebrated its 10th year anniversary.

FYBF - I Dreamed a Dream

I decided to become a volunteer because as far as I can see, even 200 years later, Fantine’s situation is still not uncommon.

Disadvantaged women with a story; be it of domestic violence, mental illness, financial difficulty or suffering from debilitating low self-esteem.

So many women have their dreams shattered. They’re hands are tied, their mouths shut tight and whether it’s professionally, personally or just by mere acquaintance, we most likely know them.

Since its inception, Fitted For Work has transformed the lives of more than 20,000 women.

People like Candice and Liz (“Hi girls!’) work tirelessly in the Parramatta office so that services like personal styling, mentoring, vocational and non-vocational training are available to help women become self-sufficient and confident again.

FYBF - I Dreamed A Dream 3

Within 3 months of receiving assistance, 50% of Fitted For Work clients find work. They find life.

Now that’s huge progress from the oppressive days of Les Misérables.

Fantine would be proud.

Are you a Les Mis fan? Have you seen it on stage? What did you think of Anne Hathaway’s performance in the movie version?

Side note: The Parramatta office is running *really* low on handbags for its personal styling services. If you’re a Sydneysider and have some that you no longer use that you can donate, let me know or feel free to contact the girls directly on 02 9635 9909 or sydney@fittedforwork.org.

1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

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FYBF – Life’s too short

There’s an established routine after morning gym sessions. I cross the road to the local Woollies, pick up a regular cappuccino from the barista as a kick-start to a chaotic day of work and twinions

It’s only $3 for a regular size and I always look forward to getting my 10th for free.

I get my caffeine fix, albeit an average one.

With the other café up the road, there’s always a shit fight just finding a park then a guaranteed 15 minute wait for your order…to be taken.

FYBF - Life's too short 2

But if I could take coffee to heaven, it would be theirs.

After her nasty fall, I went to visit my Ma last weekend. Seeing the big, raw stitches on her chin, nestled under her swollen lips was not only confronting but also a stark reminder that despite her infallible strength and tenacity, my 80 year old Ma was yes, mortal too.

After spending 12 hours in the hospital and getting stitches, my mum was still up at the crack of dawn the next day at her happy place – in the kitchen.

FYBF - Life's too short

She was busily preparing for lunch guests who were due in a few hours.  No, a bunged up chin does not stop this woman.

While I would have usually taken the opportunity to argue with her that she needed to slow the duck down and rest, this time I knew it would be wasted breath.

Life’s too short to constantly row with your mother.

Let her do her thing; relish in watching her being happy doing it.

I went back to Sydney and Monday morning after going to the gym, I made a big decision: no more bad coffee.

Life’s too short.

And unfortunately, I can’t take coffee to the after-life.

Despite the trouble it takes to grab a cup, it’s here to be enjoyed now.

Kinda like the relationship with my mother.

Along with bad coffee and scratchy, cheap toilet paper, what’s something that you think life’s too short to have to deal with?

1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

 

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FYBF – An extension of you

The phone rings and spotting the caller ID number, I take a deep breath.

“Hi, mum…”

An extension of you

It’s the usual conversation, a mix of banter and small talk. She wants to speak to the kids. Switching to speaker, I hand the phone over and continue to cook dinner. In the background I can hear K-Bear explaining to his Opung intricate details of the premise to Planes: Fire and Rescue.

Nunu bear sends her kisses through the phone then as I return back from the kitchen, hands it back to me.

“Everything okay?” I ask dad, expecting the typical complaint of how cold Canberra winters are.

“Well, mum had a fall yesterday”

“Oh…”

One brief sentence momentarily stops my breathing.

“Just in the backyard. She’s only split her lip. Going for a short surgery.”

Just. Only. Short.

Through my teenage years when my parents used to make a big deal out of everything – my constant partying and weakness for bad boyfriends, – how come they can get away with this?

How come this doesn’t sky rocket in the scale of holy shit disasters?

They insist I stay put. No need to come over at all.

They don’t realise that yes, of course I could comply and not budge but I wouldn’t feel right.

We hang up. But I call back to tell them I’m coming over.

Again, they tell me not to come, kinda like they don’t want me there, anyway.

But through time and countless attempts to crack through my mother’s abruptness and stubborn behaviour, I’ve (mostly) got her figured out.

“No. I’m coming. We’ll be there tomorrow,” I stand firm.

“But it’s cold. And you’re tired from working…” her voice is weak which makes me even more convinced I’ve made the right decision.

Then what surfaces in her excuses, is the actual truth.

“And, and…I haven’t prepared any food for you. Also, the house is a mess…”

Three words. Typical Asian mother.

An extension of you 3

Food must always be on the table. House must be spotlessly clean.

Even if the guest is just your daughter. Your own daughter who sees and tries (oh, so very hard) to accept all your flaws and shortcomings because well, secretly she knows.

She knows that to some degree, she’s simply an extension of you.

An extension of you 2

Are you an extension of your mother? Is she as stubborn as mine? What traits have you inherited?

1. Follow With Some Grace.

2. Sign up to the awesome Digital Parents community ( if you haven’t already done so). DP was created by Brenda Gaddi who happens to be the creator of FYBF. She’s also created 4 gorgeous kidlets. In case you’d like to know. Or maybe not. But we’ll share that info just the same.

3. Add your post URL to the FYBF linky. Please only link up one post.

4. Grab the funky FYBF button and post it on your sidebar. Help spread the blogfloggin love.

5. Visit the blogs of your fellow FYBF’ers and share the comment love

 

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Every day secrets for a happy union

This post is written in collaboration with Finish.  All opinions are my own.  The dirty dishes are my husband’s.

Beyond duvet hogging and dutch ovens, dirty dishes and dishwasher duties are the most contentious issues in our marriage.

I cannot stand how every morning, he leaves half eaten bowls of oats at the sink, only for them to turn into concrete by the end of the day.

Every day secrets for a happy union 2

It sends him crazy how after eating red chillies, I leave the remaining stems on my plate, leaving the dishwasher clogged with them after a cycle.

These are the post meal moments he regrets marrying an Indonesian girl with a steel gut and a penchant for all things spicy hot.

While these arguments always sound arbitrary when they arise, you know there’s a deeper message beyond dishes:

Compromise is the secret to a happy union.

Our old dishwasher died last year and let me tell you, there is no other kitchen white goods that can determine the grounds of a divorce.

It was a time when everything seemed to be falling apart in our kitchen, including the oven that almost burned down our house.

Every day secrets for a happy union

However, when it came to our new dishwasher, we set some stock standard guidelines:

  1. Rinse all dishes before throwing them in the dishwasher
  2. All knives to be placed downwards
  3. Non stick frying pans as well as special kitchen knives are to be washed in the sink
  4. Throw out all food scraps – including stubborn red chilli stems before throwing dishes in the dishwasher
  5. Use a reliable, powerful dishwashing tablets.

While our dishwashing rules aren’t consistently complied, we haven’t used any other dishwasher tablets other than Finish. Unlike other products, they don’t seem to leave behind gluggy lumps of residue after a cycle.

On a side note, how awesome does it feel when you first open your dishwasher and all that steam hits your face? Just like having a facial, is it not?

In 6 years of marriage, you can learn some big lessons about love, sacrifices and selflessness.

But it’s the mundane, minutiae of domestic life and dirty dishes that teach you the every day secrets of a happy union.

Tell me, what’s your domestic secret to a happy relationship? Is dishwashing a contentious issue in your home? Am I the only one that loves dishwasher steam?

Joining Essentially Jess for #IBOT

 

 

 

 

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