It’s almost two years to the day since my last blog post. TWO YEARS!
I am now 47. (Crap, that sounds old..) And yup – perimenopause looks like it’s just around the corner. Oh joy.
The twinions will soon be twin-agers. (Well, not for a couple of years but sooner than I’m ready for…). Can everything just slow the duck down?!
Despite the cyberspace void, shitload’s been going down IRL.
I’m back at work. Just part time but what is that exactly when you’re a mum? Just more balls to juggle, more chaos to handle. Upside to that? Less time to let the small stuff get to you.
School pick ups and drop offs are done in a flash. Ain’t got no time for playground politics.
Wish I could say there was a honeymoon phase when the job was still new and novel. That’s a farce, anyway. Sure you get to have some adult interaction and life seems to have another daily purpose outside motherhood.
But no one warned me about the super steep learning curve. The one that sent me into a deep dark place of self-doubt and “WTF was I thinking???”.
Many threats to quit came and went, then resurfaced again.
But it’s true what they say: “ If the wind’s not going in your direction, change the sails…”
And man, I had to do some serious yanking the chains.
Somehow, I got through it. Almost a year later, I’m still there. And now, dare I say, I’m even kinda loving my job.
It’s been two years since I’ve been here and I’m not even sure what lured me to come back.
One random afternoon, a little force of curiosity, wrapped in a tinge of nostalgia nudged me to log in the back end. All those familiar words and images all came flooding through the computer screen.
Photos of toddlers running along the shores of Bondi beach, me and my husband looking sleep deprived but at least 10 years younger…the big bright red lipstick smile of my beloved late cousin.
Stories of a frustrated, isolated SAHM, an tragic 80’s fan returning from (what ended up being one of his last) a Prince concert and all the milestones that come along with building a little family unit.
I caught the lump in my throat but the tears couldn’t help themselves.
There’s a bit of catching up to do, I guess. But that can happen in due course.
Let me just recover from the fact I’m actually back. That I allowed myself to hit “Publish”
Then I can start with now.
The present is as good of a place as any other.
And I promise I won’t wait another two years…
Fingers crossed, anyway.
So, whattcha been up to?