At the ripe old(er) age of 40, there’s two things that I’ve discovered:
1) Life is short
2) That if you don’t put any perspective on it, it’s even shorter.
I figure that since hitting my fifth decade, I can no longer waste the emotional energy to acknowledge nasty, bitter comments floating around on the interwebz. I am tired of analysing judgemental looks from strangers. And I am certainly done with listening to a mindless round of “He said, she said…” conversations over a cup of coffee.
Where did I find the time or energy to even be remotely interested in any of this trivial, senseless stuff to begin with ?
Is it ironic that it’s taken me this long to realise that I’ve wasted so much time worrying about any of this ?
Or is it inevitable that this much time is eventually needed to clearly see that life is worth so much more ?
Today, I went to visit a friend and his family. A family who tragically lost their father in a plane crash, thousands of miles away overseas.
I saw my friend still able to smile. I hugged his widowed mother who was so happy to have guests to cook for again.
I spoke to my friend of his future plans. How they were now all encompassed around the well being of his mum. How every day his main concern was whether she was keeping busy, and hopefully not give her too many spare moments to stop, think…and remember.
Perspective for my friend now revolves around protecting his family. To put aside his own personal goals to ensure that his role as a son, a brother and an uncle is of highest priority.
My friend has helped create a new home that is comfortable and cosy. There are grandchildren to ease the pain a little. Toys scattered, gentle moments of laughter and hugs for each other.
But his spirit was palpable.
Without mentioning his name once, I could still feel in that room, the deep respect for their lost beloved.
And when we left with kisses, lingering hugs and assurances that we would see each other again soon, I realised that this was a family who only knew too well how short life can be.
Wow….am I allowed to be speechless?
I can’t say much other than I’m moved and a little in awe, not only of your friends loving bravery, but the way you have created meaning and truth out of this story.
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I guess a few incidences last week got me thinking. And then visiting my friend helped me put some clarity into how so much time can be wasted on the frivolous stuff. Seeing my friend still be able to smile, to be so selfless in helping his family…reminded me of what’s really important.
This is a besutiful and moving piece of writing, not only because the words flow so apparently effortlessly but because you have conveyed such a tangible and emotional message. I know what. You mean about perspective. For me, it has been the passing of time to help open my eyes. Possible, for others, it is the events of life that bring it along earlier. I know what you mean about time being short though. Ever more than before, do I feel it.
Veronica @ Mixed Gems recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – A Slice of February
“For me, it has been the passing of time to help open my eyes. Possible, for others, it is the events of life that bring it along earlier.” – That’s so true, Veronica.
And why is it that now we feel that time is so short ? Is it age ? Is it motherhood ? It intrigues me.
You’ve expressed this so eloquently. It’s a beautiful piece of writing. For me, perspective has come with age, however, I am sure it comes much earlier for many others, especially your friend. I still carry around silly, childish things at times but, for the most part, time is too short for them. The getting of wisdom, perhaps?
Veronica @Mixed Gems recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – A Slice of February
I am guilty of being silly and childish about so many things…my husband can vouch for that ! But visiting my friend yesterday really reminded me how wasteful those frivolous, trivial moments were. The getting of wisdom ? Here’s hoping !
It’s ironic that perspective is priceless yet it often comes at a cost – that being tragedy and sadness. Grace, you’ve communicated great wisdom with your beautiful words. I can feel your strength. Lots of love to you. xx
Deb @ Bright & Precious recently posted..A Magnificent Beast
It is so ironic, isn’t it ? I’ve just seen people worry too much about “rubbish” lately. My friend and his family really made me think about what’s important. How I wish it didn’t take a tragedy to help me realise xxx
I honestly believe that those who have children, do see the passage of time more than a person without children. Unless the person works with children often. (Gee, this could be a whole blog post in itself….you talkin’ to childless friends vs. mothers.)
I’m reminded on passing of time through death (ie. I lost a sister recently), significant illness (my father has cancer), maturation of several nieces and nephews (who I only see occasionally since they are in a different province) and also what other people are planning to do.
More than ever before, I now want to blog all kinds of stuff I’ve experienced and stuff I’ve seen from the past. Yes our time on earth is much shorter than one could possibly imagine.
I like the background of your new blog and header.
jean recently posted..Spa Pampering in a Dog’s Life: Bakeries, Bike Trailers and More
Thanks for finding me and reconnecting, Jean !
I think the passing of time comes to us in all shapes and forms. But yes, I can understand why all of your experiences and learnings would inspire you even more to blog; to have a memoir; to even have a keepsake.
And yea, for reasons I can’t fully explain I do feel older at @53. I think it’s the reality that some boomers in my age bracket are taking early retirement. But I can’t afford to do that!
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Having a look at all your travels and adventures that you’ve posted on your blog, I think it’s truly amazing what you do (and have done). You’re truly inspiring, Jean.
Hi Grace, your post moved me, it is a good reminder, thank you … my heart goes out to this family who is so loving and brave in this time of sorrow.
Thanks, Jess. Their situation is heartbreaking but their love and support for each other is just beyond words.
So true, life is worth so much more! I’m so sorry about your friend’s father and it’s great that you were able to offer some support.
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I don’t know how much support I was, Tat. They are truly an amazing family with so much strength.
I really love how real honest and sweet you write Grace-ie, because you are all that too!
Love.
ava recently posted..The Gio-Faith Wedding Event Slash Mikaela Ruckus
Oh, thank you, lovely Ava. Your comments always make my day ! Love to you and your beautiful family xxx
Sigh. Amen Mama G. Amen.
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