It goes without saying that despite being identical, the twinlets have their own very different personalities.
For some reason though, this fact seems to mind boggle people sometimes. And I guess that’s understandable.
Even from a mother’s perspective, the twinlets aren’t dissimilar in many aspects, they’re also not at all similar in others. Does that make sense? Or have I completely thrown you off?
What I’m trying to say is that at this age, their differences in personalities don’t really present themselves until it comes to a particular situation.
Despite being the eldest (by a whole 2 minutes), Nunu tends to let his brother dominate a conversation.
K-Bear is Mr Chatterbox and when a question is asked to both of them, K-Bear will be the first to jump in with the answer.
It’s not that Nunu’s an introvert or shy. In fact, as Mr Sociable, he loves approaching other kids at the playground to introduce himself then ask them for their name. Sometimes, he’ll do it several times – to the same kid. The poor child being targeted will look at Nunu in bemusement (occasionally in annoyance ) as if to say, “Wait. Didn’t we just go through this???”
Ah, my son. He’s just practicing his social skills.
Problem is, there is a tendency of being overshadowed by his brother. And this has started to be a growing concern for us.
On the rare occasion when time and exceptional organization skills work harmoniously together in our household, we separate the boys for one on one time.
Sometimes we’ll take one to the shopping mall and the other to the airport. One of us might travel in the car while the other takes public transport. Whatever we do, it’s usually impromptu.
On Sunday, we both decided to catch a bus, albeit separate ones. The destinations hadn’t been decided.
We also hadn’t told the twinlets of our plans but minutes before we left the house, Nunu reached over to his brother and gave him a random hug. Kinda like a “Dude, this might be a bit tough for you, but you’ll be fine. Trust me, I’m your older bro” embrace.
I don’t particularly look out for these “twintuition” moments but when they do happen, I sit up to see and soak in how magical it is.
I took K-Bear and wasn’t quite sure where we would go.
Mr Surfer decided that he would just let Nunu lead him.
“I’m just going to let him tell me what he wants to do…”
After boarding the bus and realizing that his mother and brother weren’t coming along, Nunu asked his dad where we were.
“They’re catching a different bus,” was the reply.
“Oh, okay…” and nothing more mentioned.
K-Bear on the other hand, despite usually being the more confident one, held my hand very tightly when our bus arrived. It then occurred to me that maybe, he relies on his brother to be that pillar of confidence for him.
He constantly asked for his brother and his father for the first five minutes then as he kept holding my hand, he slowly slouched into his seat and fell asleep.
Meanwhile, Nunu was having a ball. Time on his own with his dad all to himself and potato chips to boot! For this twin, what wasn’t there to love? More importantly, what or who was there to miss?
As it worked out, we both ended up doing the same thing, catching the bus then the train to Circular Quay. Both had an ice cream and a wander, checking out the ships and ferries.
A quick mobile phone conversation, we decided to meet up but not tell the boys.
The look on the boys’ faces when they first spotted each other could’ve melted my heart like fire to candle wax.
As the twinlets grow into active, independent little boys, I see the need to separate them on a regular basis. It doesn’t need to be for long, massive periods of time.
Just enough to give them the space they need to help discover themselves and become even more confident in who they are.
Because with twins, it’s a given finding strength in numbers. But it takes a conscious effort to build the power of being one.
Joining Jess and the lovely IBOT team