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Things I Didn’t Expect (when I was expecting)

April 23, 2013 By: mamagrace7134 Comments

***This is not a sponsored post.***

There  I sat.  Cross-legged.  Tucked away in the tiny corner of the “Pregnancy  and Babies” section at the massive Borders bookshop.

8 weeks pregnant and none the wiser, I scoured through every book in the shelves, desperately searching for information –  anything to get me through the next 32 or so weeks.

Despondently, I found that my pile of “must buy” books wasn’t very high compared to the ones I thought were utterly useless.

They all held relevant information, albeit in a clinical, text book manner.

However, I was on a hunt for the truth.  I had some desperately pending questions that needed answering.  I wanted to cut to the pregnancy reality chase.

Heavily pregnant cowgirl

“How much is this going to hurt ?”

“How supportive will Mr Surfer actually be?”

“Will my boobs ever be the same again?”

And beyond my own looming curiosity, there was the stuff I was completely clueless about but was inevitably a part of early motherhood:  the puke, the poo (and that’s just your own), cliquey mothers’ groups and Nazi-type judgmental midwives.

Exposing her own undignified, yet honest baby making experiences Monica Dux’s book “Things I Didn’t Expect (when I was expecting) will have you snort laughing.

(Image Source)

Along side the humour, she also shares well-researched, thought provoking historical facts about pre and post natal procedures, concepts of birthing and even the transition of the paternal role during child birth. (Apparently in the 60’s, it was thought to believe that a father being present at a birth could turn him gay!  Something about labour being so traumatic, it would obviously turn any husband off from his perfect wife.  Hmmmm…)

I will admit.  When I was first asked to review Monica’s book, I blindly thought that there was nothing left to scare me about the blood and gore of having a baby.  After all, I had TWO at a time.

But this book’s not about that.  It’s about finally opening up the taboo topics for discussion.

It was the exact book that I was hoping to find that day in the bookshop.

Whether you’re a mum of six or wondering what’s (really) in store when you’re about to have a baby, I highly recommend that you grab a copy of “Things I Didn’t Expect (when I was expecting).

The more we speak about the real concerns of pregnancy and early days of motherhood, the less stigmas we’ll have in our modern society.

I have a copy to giveaway to one lucky reader!

All you have to do is:

  • Leave a comment, answering the question:  “When someone you knew/ you were pregnant, what did you/they experience that was completely unexpected?”
  • Follow With Some Grace
  • Subscribe to With Some Grace by Email

The important stuff:

  • This giveaway is only open to Australian residents
  • Closing date for entries is Tuesday, 30th of April.
  • The winner will be contacted via email on the following Wednesday.
  • If the winner does not reply to my email within 24 hours, another winner will be chosen.
  • Entries will be judged on merit and decision of the winner will be final.
  • The winner will be sent a copy of “Things I Didn’t Expect (when I was expecting) by Monica Dux through Melbourne University Publishing.

Joining Essentially Jess for another fab round of IBOT

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Comments

  1. Grace Mamo says

    April 23, 2013 at 7:04 am

    I didn’t expect that that the combined effort of additional weight and that sneaky hormone relaxin would mean that all my lovely pointy heels which I couldn’t wear when pregnant would NEVER FIT again.

    Reply
  2. Mumabulous says

    April 23, 2013 at 8:25 am

    You look amazingly super great in that photo. When I was pregnant I wouldn’t let a camera near me. Still wont.
    Mumabulous recently posted..Great Scott!My Profile

    Reply
  3. Robomum says

    April 23, 2013 at 8:25 am

    What a great pic Grace, you brave woman!
    This book sounds like a good one. I too had a problem with some of the books I read. In the end, it was a borrowed copy of the original ‘What to expect’ where I got most of my information. I’d have done anything for a laugh though.
    Robomum recently posted..Why would you change your religion?My Profile

    Reply
  4. rhian @melbs says

    April 23, 2013 at 8:32 am

    I wish I’d read that one too when I was pregnant, all the books I found had pics of stunning women with beautiful bumps or perfect babies, not really what I wanted when I was stressed not knowing what to expect.
    rhian @melbs recently posted..Not ready to say goodbye.My Profile

    Reply
  5. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says

    April 23, 2013 at 8:57 am

    I hate to say it but mine was severe constipation that required a birthing suite all on its own on several occasions.
    This is very relevant to us right now as Chelsea (step daughter) is about to give birth any day. In fact I am looking for tips today on how to bring on labour!
    Alas we have had to leave our northern adventure where we spent the last week by her side hoping the bub might be born during our visit. We are now on our way south again.
    Great give away!
    Would love to win this for Chelsea. Looks like a great book.
    Cheers Grace
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit recently posted..Day 1297 – How to induce labourMy Profile

    Reply
  6. kirri says

    April 23, 2013 at 9:08 am

    You looked so cute preggers!! I didn’t expect to feel like my body no longer felt like my own and that at times I would resent that feeling. The times when I really needed to sleep but someone inside would insist I stay awake with their constant wriggling and kicking.

    The whole breast-feeding debacle – it did not seem natural to me at all – it took months of practice and a lot of pain. For the first few months as a parent, I felt completely lost and scared….such a steep learning curve.
    kirri recently posted..Self care and relationships with Amy E. Smith + The Joy JunkieMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right says

    April 23, 2013 at 9:16 am

    I could have done with that book 15 years ago! The question “will my boobs ever be the same again?” was soon overshadowed by “will my lady bits ever be the same again”.
    Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..What not to say to ageing parentsMy Profile

    Reply
  8. Twitchy says

    April 23, 2013 at 9:51 am

    I’m reading this book too and while I’m loving it, I must admit an entire chapter on poo… well I was glad when it was over. The rest is very entertaining and informative! Love the pregnant cowgirl style! #teamIBOT
    Twitchy recently posted..Teen Is Rude To Mother. Mother is… pleased?My Profile

    Reply
  9. EssentiallyJess says

    April 23, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    I can’t really remember anything that unexpected, apart from beginning preterm labour 7 weeks early with the first, and then discovering that there was such a thing, as an irritable uterus.
    I actually felt pretty prepared; as much as you can be.
    EssentiallyJess recently posted..With Great Wisdom Comes Great RandomnousMy Profile

    Reply
  10. Emily says

    April 23, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    What surprised me was how much breastfeeding can hurt. Anyone and everyone kept telling me that if I was doing it right, it wouldn’t hurt. She mustn’t be attached properly, Em.” Lactation consultants, breastfeeding clinics, constant weighing, two months pf expressing and bottle-feeding as we tried to establish breastfeeding ‘properly’. Final verdict? It was all good. It was working. It just HURT LIKE BUGGERY until my boobs got used to it!!
    Great prize. Thanks for hosting the giveaway. x
    Emily recently posted..Walk, don’t run (guest post)My Profile

    Reply
  11. Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says

    April 23, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    That’s such a lovely photo Grace!
    My unexpected was more about after I took Bella home, so much to take in. So much so, that I wrote my own book about it all when she turned 1.
    I wish this one had been around 10 years ago. x
    Lisa@RandomActsOfZen recently posted..A to Z of ZEN. N is for ……My Profile

    Reply
  12. Jodi says

    April 23, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    I was told when I fell pregnant that the surge of hormones would more than likely turn me in to a horny minx basically wanting sex all the time…..hubby was rubbing his hands together in anticipation! In actual fact the opposite happened, I couldn’t even stand hubby looking at me!

    The thought that he had put me into this situation by getting me pregnant, which involved the huge boobs, swollen ‘cankles’ and being incessantly kicked from the inside put a HUGE dampener on that! Sorry hubby, certainly was not what HE was expecting… 🙂
    Jodi recently posted..A healthier meMy Profile

    Reply
  13. Emily @ Have a laugh on me says

    April 23, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    I LOVE that pic of you – too funny G! I was lucky to have lots of friends who talked about taboo things! Have a great week – Em xx
    Emily @ Have a laugh on me recently posted..Six months ago I was a blog virgin – now I am the town bike!My Profile

    Reply
  14. Winnie @ Bubfriendly says

    April 23, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    You look amazing Grace – and carrying twins too!!! 🙂 Well I really didn’t expect morning sickness and all those things hormone do to us to be that horrible especially in the first trimester, I used to scoff at pregnant women complaining about their pregnancy symptoms – how unsympathetic was that!!! I guess karma was getting back at me somehow!
    Winnie @ Bubfriendly recently posted..Mothers Group MagazineMy Profile

    Reply
  15. Shari says

    April 23, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    Ooooh what a lovely baby belly you had going on!!! I had to give up reading pregnancy books – I went a bit silly in the head obsessing over what was or was not happening ….
    Shari recently posted..When your child’s driving is no longer just up the wall!My Profile

    Reply
  16. Bridget says

    April 23, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    I’m not eligible, but I love the whole idea of this book! I wish someone had given it to me when I was pregnant!!
    Bridget recently posted..HGTV Gives Me Unrealistic ExpectationsMy Profile

    Reply
  17. Kylez @ A Stduy in Contradictions says

    April 23, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    Sounds like a great read!

    There were so many things that I didn’t expect about pregnancy but I think the most overwhelming one was that feeling of utter terror, of being constantly scared that something was going to go wrong that things weren’t right. Everybody talks about the joys of pregnancy and parenthood nobody tells you about ten overwhelming far that nerves goes away but that you just learn to live with and not focus on.

    Reply
  18. Seana - Sydney, Kids, Food + Travel says

    April 23, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    Haha, I didn’t expect to enjoy sex so much, and to feel so relieved not to have to worry about getting pregnant, cos I already was. This was with the first which was an accidental. Thereafter I was surprised that I’d done it again!!
    Seana – Sydney, Kids, Food + Travel recently posted..Scottish Stories – On Friendships Old and NewMy Profile

    Reply
  19. Robyn (Mrs D) says

    April 23, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Oh how I wish I had read a book like this when I was pregnant the first time round. I was a real ‘geek’ and read every single book I could get my hands on. I though I had it all done to a fine art and so cool, calm and collected about my impending labour! But when I actually happened I went into a complete state of panic – I remember flinging myself over the desk when I arrived at the hospital saying “help me, I think I’m dying! “No, honey” said a very patient mid wife, “you’re just having a baby’! Totally not how I was expecting to react. Fortunately by the time I went into labour for the second and third time I was a little more clued up!!
    Robyn (Mrs D) recently posted..A mermaid birthday partyMy Profile

    Reply
  20. iSophie says

    April 23, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    Oh wow, you look amazing! I never expected I would be breastfeeding and/or pregnant for 9 years! But that’s a whole other issue 😉
    iSophie recently posted..The day the boys tried to break meMy Profile

    Reply
  21. Janet says

    April 23, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    I didn’t realise that all my muscles and ligaments loosening in preparation for birth would mean that I would put my jaw out when I sneezed! It took several visits to the chiropractor to get it back to normal again!
    Janet recently posted..Pros and Cons of Gel NailsMy Profile

    Reply
  22. carmen says

    April 23, 2013 at 6:20 pm

    Gosh Grace! You mean I was meant to listen to others? Oh no… I promptly ignored all forms of advice from friends/family unless they were qualified (ie midwife).
    I seem to have survived and the kids are thriving (how do they DO that?).
    😀
    carmen recently posted..So you asked about Roller Derby…My Profile

    Reply
  23. Kim says

    April 23, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    Hi grace I don’t need the book but I remember reading it, that and kaz cooke’s up the duff – I loved that. x
    Kim recently posted..Life is goodMy Profile

    Reply
  24. Talia says

    April 23, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    I never knew my feet would grow a whole freaking size and never go back down! Lior is 15 months now, and they’re still big. 🙁 I was already an 11, so you can imagine what an inconvenience this is!!
    Talia recently posted..Deleting Facebook – A Case of Personal HappinessMy Profile

    Reply
  25. Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me says

    April 23, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    Oooh, I got the email about this book but never got around to reading it. I’d love to though.

    I was shocked by the morning sickness. Had no idea that I’d lose 13kg in the first three months. The constipation was a shocker I had no idea was a part of it, coupled with chronic thrush I was pretty damned uncomfortable.

    Despite the discomfort I loved the little bundle I got at the end.

    V.
    Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me recently posted..What Ned loves: Superheroes and modern artMy Profile

    Reply
  26. Pip says

    April 23, 2013 at 9:24 pm

    I read Caz Cooke’s book – and to be totally honest – I was surprized at how much I loved pregnancy. I was one of the lucky ones – no morning sickness, no weight gain and surprisingly little discomfort – oh but in hindsight my pelvis was pretty damn weak and I wore a belly band from day dot – but I just assumed everyone did! – apparently not. Couldn’t have wished for a better experience though – so happy it’s not all bad – for everyone. Love that there is a book out like this though. Bless 🙂
    Pip recently posted..I have a mate…My Profile

    Reply
  27. Mrs Holsby says

    April 23, 2013 at 9:45 pm

    You know what I didn’t expect?
    In labour, when I was pushing so hard I thought my eyes were going to pop out, my husband did a huge, loud fart and blamed me.
    No one in the room expected that.
    Mrs Holsby recently posted..Mad Cow and Gluten-Free Chocolate BiscuitsMy Profile

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  28. Rita says

    April 23, 2013 at 10:20 pm

    My sister-in-law told me that when she was pregnant she had huge cramps in her leg that use to wake her up during the night screaming… Her husband use to freak out. Scary stuff!
    Rita recently posted..The funeralMy Profile

    Reply
  29. Jen says

    April 23, 2013 at 11:27 pm

    The thing no-one ever tells you – and that shocked me most…is my belly button turned inside out and I had an outie for about 4 months. It looked freaky. And there was fluff and dried skin in there from God knows how long ago. Eugh! It went back in again, but it’s never quite been the same as it was before. It’s something more women should be made aware of so they don’t get too much a shock 🙂

    Reply
  30. Josefa @always Josefa says

    April 24, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    I saw this only the other day in a bookshop and even though my baby making days are over, I wanted to stop and have a look what it was all about
    Unexpected for me? The very quick, sharp reality that, everything was now unexpected
    Josefa @always Josefa recently posted..Don’t Wish Me a Happy BirthdayMy Profile

    Reply
  31. Miss Cinders says

    April 24, 2013 at 11:16 pm

    I didn’t realise my lady bits would change sooo much! Like I expected it at the end… obvoulsy, but not quite so much before then!

    And nose bleeds! NOBODY told me you can get nosebleeds that could wake you wake up in the middle of the night with your bed looking like a murder scene!

    Pregnancy and I had a love hate relationship. But man I’d do it all again in a heartbeat!

    MC x
    #TeamIBOT

    P.S. No matter how many babies you birth, you learn something new every. single. time.
    Miss Cinders recently posted..troubledMy Profile

    Reply
  32. Née says

    April 25, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    I didn’t expect to be sooooo sick this time around! The whole pregnancy thing in such an enigma, much like the little people it produces really. You look fab in that pic by the way! xx
    Née recently posted..A letter to Bam Bam aged 4My Profile

    Reply
  33. Lisa Wood says

    May 8, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    I so haven’t read that book {now I want to borrow a copy from the library!!!}

    Gosh I love how brave you are for sharing your gorgeous belly in a Bikini !! Beautiful baking going on there 🙂

    Even though the competition is over I wanted to say thanks for making me laugh! And you are spot on – we don’t really hear the truth about what to expect from most writers!
    Lisa Wood recently posted..Mothers Day Will Be Different This YearMy Profile

    Reply
  34. Nami says

    May 22, 2013 at 2:12 am

    A bikini! You’re bold. I think my belly sported a treasure trail, to be honest. But when you’re preggers, you really don’t give a flyin’ hoot, do ya?
    Nami recently posted..Here She IsMy Profile

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About Me…

Indonesian-born, Grace spent extensive time living and working overseas, primarily in Japan. She now resides in Sydney where she is mum to identical twin boys and wife to an avid surfer. While she has happily replaced office life with motherhood, Grace has discovered that a 10 year career in corporate sales and being fluent in 3 languages is futile when dealing with toddler tantrums and singing “The Wheels On The Bus”

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