The Same Man…

 

When I first discovered that I had lost my blog, I tried so very hard to put things in perspective.  I had a long chat with Mr Surfer that New Year’s Eve (Yeah, what a way to ring in the new year), and he tried to help me see things from a different angle.

“A lot of those posts were just photos and mainly link ups, right ?” he said in his usual calm voice.

For most of the part, he was right.

But there was a handful of posts that were hard to let go.  Ones that I wrote from the depths of my heart, sometimes with tears in my eyes while at the keyboard.  So, I kept rehashing them in my head; trying to remember what I wrote verbatim; hoping the words would come back with ease like they did the first time.

So, when I saw the this post again – a tribute I wrote to Mr Surfer for Father’s Day –  my heart skipped a beat.  There were little tears of joy.  This is the post I never want to lose again.  And on this day of love –  beautiful, committed, undying love –  I have decided to repost it…

*****

Once upon a courtship time ago, a forlorn couple sat in the middle of a lush, sprawling park.  Despite the perfect sunny weather that Sunday afternoon, they sat across from each other, both with their head hanging low.  Avoiding eye contact, they were both in deep thought.

Around them the world was in its happiest form.  Dogs and their owners were walking by with a spring in their step.  Children and parents playing happily just metres away.  Everyone around them was oblivious to the couple’s dire situation.

It was a round of  ”Where is this all going ?” conversation.  The unavoidable yet necessary issue that most couples face.

“I don’t know if I want a family or children.  I don’t need a fixed address to say that I’m settled and content,” he muttered.

As soon as the words poured out, the girl felt the tension rise to her shoulders and then to her head.  Her heart felt heavy and she suddenly found it difficult to breath.

“Okay, then.  Will I guess there’s no solution here.  I do want a family.  I do want children.  I need a fixed address because it encompasses all those other things that I said I want”

She said carefully but soon began to sob.

Crying in public was so lame, she thought.

Yet nothing could help her stop.

*****

Somehow a turning point miraculously made its way to that relationship barely hanging on a shoe-string.  Not only was it all salvaged, it went from strength to strength.

And for me, that fateful Sunday afternoon couldn’t have been more of a stark contrast to the moment we both sat at the doctor’s office – a few years later –  ready to talk about our battles with fertility.

Sitting nervously next to me, I can vividly remember his opening sentence.

“Well, we would really…” his voice began to break.  He paused for a moment to maintain his composure and hold back the emotional tears.

“We really would very much like to start a family…” he finally said.

Tears still managed to well up in his blue eyes.

I couldn’t believe that this was that same man.

The man that was so close to walking away from a future with me.  Because starting a family wasn’t in his best interest.

Yet, this really is the same man.

The one who firmly decided that this is the year to put his career on hold.  Sacrificing it all and instead choosing to take the company’s offer of three months paternity leave.

To take full advantage of being a completely hands-on dad.

That experiencing fatherhood with such freedom is indeed a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

 

The very same man that was so adamant that having children was well out of his future plans, was happily playing with his twin boys at the beach today.

Teaching them simple joys.  Of soaking up the sun, feeling the sand between their toes and breathing in the salty air.

 

To that same man today – the devoted father, whose boys are the absolute centre of his life and universe:

Happy Father’s Day.

You will always be the one and the same.

Full of love and commitment for us.

Your family.