Right from the start, we knew we had a very unique opportunity in raising bilingual kids.
And while it was all very exciting (especially for Mr Surfer) at first, the reality is that having only one parent speak the second language does add extra responsibility and pressure for said parent.
For the purpose of this post, let me clarify that the term ‘bilingual’ can be wide and varied. Just as ‘fluent’ can be perceived in different ways. However, for me and my family and for now, it simply means to be able to converse and comprehend in another language.
The twinions are picking up Indonesian at an alarmingly fast pace. Their vocabulary is around 100 words, they know how to count to 10, they know about a dozen songs by heart and now they’re stringing sentences together. It’s kinda scary.
They’re becoming so confident, they correct their linguistically impaired father with his pronounciation:
“No Papa. Not ‘Sepe-DA’ (Bike). It’s ‘SE-peda”
During a drive (where I was absent), K-Bear asked his father what ‘house’ was in Indonesian. Catching his father by complete surprise, K-Bear was not satisfied with the “I’m sorry, I don’t know” answer.”
Throughout the entire 20 minute trip, he screamed from his back seat, demanding his father tell him. Right. NOW!!!
Below are some tips for raising bilingual kids when only one parent speaks the second language. It’s all based on experiences, trial, error and the occasional tantrum. (And they’re just the ones from me).
1. Talk to them in the language as much as you can from early on.
From Day 1 in NICU, I would hold the twins and sing to them all the Indonesian nursery rhymes my mother sang to me. Then, when it was just us 3 at home and they were tiny tots, speaking to them in Indonesian felt somewhat strange. Was it soaking it? Was it making any difference? Was I better off talking to a wall?
2. Use resources that work for you.
Books:
We have scoured high and low for books in Bahasa Indonesia and bought a couple from Amazon.com and Asia Bookroom. However, it’s now just easier (and cheaper) to ask my relatives to send some over. It’s generally a hit and miss as some books are too wordy or just too old for them. But we’ll just keep building that library. Just in case.
DVD’s:
We came across a fantastic language DVD resource on a website called Dinolingo.com.
We searched “Bahasa Indonesia for kids” on YouTube and these crazy, random clips of dancing dinosaurs and hippos in balloons appeared…speaking in Indonesian. The boys loved it! So, we went to the website and bought their educational pack, which consists of 5 CD’s and loads of flashcards, posters and other visual aids.
A little pricey (around $150 US) but we’ve definitely seen the value.
The packages are in other languages that aren’t too common like Swahili, Albanian, Tagalog (Filipino) and even Urdu.
Songs:
When my mum made a trip to Indonesia 2 years ago I asked her to bring back DVD’s of Indonesian children’s songs. The great thing about the DVD’s are that not only are they extremely visual, the lyrics appear at the bottom – karaoke style. There are plenty of songs (it’s a 4 DVD set!) I don’t know but because the lyrics are there, I get to learn along with the boys.
Another great educational website is Mama Lisa which has a collection of MP3’s and YouTube videos of children’s songs from all around the world.
3. Have grandparents involved
I’ve specifically asked my parents to only speak Indonesian to the twinion. In fact, over the weekend, mum decided to throw a bit of her own dialect (Batak). The boys took to it like parrots.
I happened to be in the other room when l I could hear my mum counting to 10 in Batak and the boys repeating her. My own childhood memories (especially of getting into trouble) started flowing back when I heard her tell them to “Hatop!” (Hurry up!) and “Unang!” (Don’t do that!)
When their carers at daycare ask the twinions if they’re going to visit their ‘grandparents’, they’ll promptly correct them. No, they say. They’re going to see their ‘Opung’ (Grandma) and ‘Tata’ (Grandpa).
4. Make it part of your daily schedule
When the twinions come home absolutely baked from a full on day at pre-school, we switch on DinoLingo for them to wind down while I cook dinner. So, if we haven’t spoken Bahasa all day, we make sure that there’s at least 30 minutes of it at the end of the day.
5. Fine line between encouraging and “forcing”
My twinions will tell me when they feel like talking in Bahasa and when they don’t.
We can have half an hour straight driving in the car, when the boys will enthusiastically tell me when they see a ‘pohon’ (tree), ‘rumput’ (grass), ‘awan’ (cloud) or the ‘matahari’ (sun).
But then there are moments when it’s a bilingual boycott. Don’t wanna talk. Don’t wanna converse. And that’s cool. Best to just leave it.
The twinions may, or may not keep an interest in learning Bahasa as they get older. What’s most important in exposing them to another language is that, subconsciously, they’re also assimilating into another culture. And if there’s anything they take away from all of this, I hope it’s that; an understanding of their heritage and background.
There are arguments that introducing another language causes confusion and delayed speech. I have my own thoughts about all of that. Best though, to leave it for another post.
Do you speak another language at home? What are your tips? What challenges do you face? Are there any languages you’d like to teach your child/ren?
Joining Essentially Jess for IBOT
What a wonderful legacy you are leaving for your boys, Grace. They have such richness of heritage being passed down lovingly by you – and that is amazing. I’m kind of a weird case (as you know!) – because I’m not Indo but I feel Indo sometimes and it was my life from birth to 10 years. And as my parents still speak it (and live other aspects of the culture) it still stays with me. When my first child was born I sand her Indo lullabies constantly… mainly because it was all I knew! It took me awhile to learn the English stuff all of a sudden. By the time number 2 came along, the Indo lullabies and songs disappeared somewhat (I was too frazzled or exhausted to sing!) – which was sad. I still teach my kids Indo words though – and some they use just because I use them all the time out of habit. Travelling to Indo soon has also brought the opportunity and interest to learn more. They’ve realised my mum speaks Indo and ask her for words all the time. Anyway – a bit different from your situation I know, but interesting how this aspect of my history was still important and evident. Growing up bilingual myself, I can tell you that there is definitely no confusion or delay in speech. If anything there are huge advantages in brain development (apparently) for the bilingual child. (I know.. you’ll right that post one day!). Such a great post, Grace. Loved it. xx
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Such great tips! How awesome that your kids will be able to speak more than one language! xxx
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Miss Yin has been learning Chinese for a while, and Little Yang is now joining in. But it is sooo slow without us speaking it. A private lesson (in our home) costs $60 a week, and the teacher is lovely, but we are questioning the worth, especially when Miss Yin doesn’t like it (although she loves the teacher)! We can’t do the group Chinese lesson classes as the kids mostly have one or more parents speaking at home and they are also the sort of ‘strict’ lessons I don’t think would work. We have been slack I must admit in learning Chinese ourselves. Still we persevere. You are giving your boys a great gift.
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Oh they look so adorable in their batik shirts!
Yes, we are teaching Chinese to Lil Pumpkin as well, and some simple words to her in Japanese (for interest). Books are definitely a fantastic help! It’s great that you are teaching your boys the language even though you’re not living in Indonesia anymore and I can imagine how hard to get resources. Even if they don’t get to use it in their daily lives, it will definitely bring them much closer to their roots and your part of the family. Keep up the good work Mama Grace.
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Great post Grace. It is a beautiful gift to be able to offer to your children a second language. It takes a bit of effort from the parents but I think it’s very much worth it. I’m so glad my parents taught us Arabic when we were young.
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my son and daughter always giggle at me when I speak in Japanese, but funny how they somehow pick it up so easily, as I still put on Totoro and with mother in Japanese since they were newborns. I hope they grow up speaking it more than I did. Cheers!
Just wondering if you’re being strict about whether they speak back to you in Indonesian when you talk to them in Indonesian? Lady AB is 3 years old and understands everything I say to her in Cantonese, but responds mostly in English. Plus her pronunciation is terrible, she can’t seem to hear the tones of the language so sounds like a white person speaking Canto! I’m wondering whether I have to start being very strict with her that I won’t understand her if she speaks to me in English.
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My boys make pronunciation mistakes all the time but I don’t try to correct them. I just keep repeating the words. And I don’t mind if they don’t talk back in Indo. What I’m trying to focus on is building their confidence and interest in speaking another language. If I keep it too strict, I think they’ll lose interest quickly.
I think it’s great that your little one understands everything you say in Cantonese! Even if she does respond back in English. In many aspects, she’s still bilingual, I think.
I think it is absolutely fantastic! I so wish I knew another language and really hope the boys can one day learn another one. My Dad decided many years ago to learn German, like 10 or more years he has been doing it, and has since been to Germany to practise. Lucky man! #teamIBOT
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Gosh they are gorgeous holding hands. What a great gift to be able to have bilingual children I’m sure it sparks more pathways in the brain. And also makes their world so much bigger. You rock Mama G x
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You are giving your children the most wonderful of gifts. Not so much the second language but the stretching of the brain. I’m sure in years to come you will see a depth to your boys that otherwise would not have existed.
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Loved this post Grace-especially the different ways you have incorporated learning into their day to day lives. Some families teach their kids sign language as babies to communicate even though they are not deaf and their language & speech actually can be accelerated. Why would a second language be any different? xx
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I thought Indonesians always placed the emphasis on the second last syllable? So it would be se-PED-a? That was why my teacher told me anyway, so now I’m curious. 🙂
I’d love the speak too languages at home. In fact I miss the fact that I don’t speak much Indonesian any more; not that I ever spoke a lot, but at school and then with friends we would chat to each other and it was always nice. Maybe I need to come and talk to your boys 🙂
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Can I just say first of all that those boys of yours are just so freaking cute!! That is absolutely impressive that they have such a large Indonesian vocab already. It must make you feel so proud to hear them speak in Indonesian and have them so passionate about learning. You’re doing a great job with them 🙂
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Grace – I so wished we spoke another language at home beside English! I loved French when I was in Highschool, unfortunately I can’t remember any of it anymore.
Now days most jobs would prefer someone that spoke at least two languages so I think your twins are going to thank you when they grow up for sharing your own language – and yes its connecting them to history/family. Personally I can’t see how it can affect their language skills – if anything I think it would encourage their learning 🙂
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Great advice, Grace. I will take this on board.
I try to teach my girls Italian when I can, but it isn’t my first language and my husband doesn’t speak so sometimes it can be a struggle. I gave up for a little while because the girls weren’t interested, but now they’re asking more and more so we look at bilingual books, watch dvds and listen to songs. They’re like sponges absorbing it. And while they’re not speaking in sentences yet, they are slipping in Italian words in conversation, in the right places!
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So great that you’re teaching the boys Grace. When Bell was little, John started to teach her Chinese, but because he wasn’t at home much, it became too difficult.
Now she’s learning Indonesian at school and absolutely loves it! She brought home an A+ last week and is so proud.
Your possums are way too adorable xx
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It’s such a wonderful gift and skill you are giving your kids, I would love to be able to speak another language!!
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That is so fabulous Grace. My dad is Italian, my mum lithuanian. As a child, they both fought over which language they were going to teach us. The four of us kids gave up and now only speak English. Very disappointing as I struggled with the language barrier when I went to Venice to visit my dad’s family. So pleased your boys are picking up the language so quickly. x
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Your boys are lucky that they have the chance to be bilingual. I cannot just imagine how gorgeous they sound. Thanks to QLD schooling, 3 of my boys are fluent in Japanese, as I am not (except for the odd word ) I have no idea what they say to me. Mmmmm I wonder what my teens are really saying to me ? Lol xx
You’re a bomb of a mother, to try bilingual infiltration on your kids. One of my sisters is married to another Chinese-Canadian: their 3 children don’t know how to speak/barely understand any Chinese.
But parents are 2nd generation.
Kudos to you Grace! I didn’t learn English until kindergarten even though I’ve lived my whole life in Canada. Now it’s reversed, crappy, broken Chinese.
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