I’ve seen better days…

Patience.  Parenting.

Two words that I would love to be able to string in the same sentence when describing myself, but alas, I still have so much to learn.

Today my limits were tested to great fathoms.

Routine is key for any parent.  Especially parents with twins.  All it takes is a hairline fracture in their morning sleep pattern to inevitably cause the rest of the clock-work schedule to crumble.

Lack of sleep causes irritability.  Which creates messy protests in eating lunch.  Leading to hungry, grumpy children.  Resulting in complete exhaustion.

The accumulation of no sleep, no food and constant crying drives us all to the brink of madness.

The irrepairable damage is done.

At 1:30pm, my head started getting that intense dull ache.  You know the kind – when you constantly hear a toddler (well, in my case two) screaming and wailing for an hour straight ?  And that pressure against your skull just gets tighter and tighter and you feel it’s just going to burst.

Then, frantically thinking of anecdotes, you revert to the basics – breathing.

As you try to calm one twin in their cot, you just take deep breaths.

Slow and right from the depths of the torso.

Inhale.  Exhale.  Eyes closed.

Looking away from the other screaming banshee.  Avoiding eye contact at all costs.  Because the moment he catches my glance, the screams notch up extra bizillion decibels.  Taking us back to square one.

What brings back the calm in our household ?

Usually their Papa.

On most days, his timing is impeccable.  Today, was one of them.  He came home at the climax of craziness.  He whisked them away in their pram.  In an instant, changing the scene to one of serenity by taking them for a walk.

I am left alone at home.  Dishevelled.  Left to collect the pieces of sanity I left behind before 1:30pm.

All the parenting, pregnancy and motherhood books do not prepare you for these arduous moments.

Nothing does.

Beyond “making sacrifices” or “holding responsibility for another human being” – the biggest life lesson a parent can learn is patience.

It’s almost ironic that along with this great virtue, parenting is made up of another:  Unconditional love.

The days may be full of mayhem and tears (from both sides), but at the end of the day,when they’re nice and clean,and their little tummies full of warm bedtime milk – all is well in our world again.

As if the chaos never happened, kisses, hugs and innocent smiles are aplenty as they are snuggled tight and tucked in their cots.

I go to bed praying that maybe, perhaps, I’m one step closer to being a patient parent.

During one of the calmer moments...