Never in a million years did I ever think that I’d be quoting a Beatles song (RIP John).
Then again, never did I imagine that I would have it in me to actually put my pride aside; realise that I am in fact, not a super woman – in my career or otherwise – and surrender to the fact that, it’s okay to get some help.
And despite what everyone says -including the nosey grandma at the bus stop who insists that raising twins is nothing compared to her Catholic Irish family of ten – it doesn’t get easier.
And no matter what anyone else says, when you have twin boys, you are ALWAYS, without fail…outnumbered.
I love my boys to death. I don’t even think I need to reiterate that.
They are, however, two little tornados.
Outings have become a dreaded chore. And even worse when it involves taking the car.
I am using my entire body weight to pin them down as they kick, scream and surfboard their way out of their seats.
Then the dreaded moment of having to leave wherever we are and trying to corale them. Yes, that’s right. Like sheep.
But it never turns out so seamless or straightforward.
I can no longer carry a twin under each arm to the car while they’re simultaneously throwing another tantrum.
My biceps can’t cope and my brain no longer has the mental capacity to stay calm during these trying situations.
So, right before Christmas, around the time Mr Surfer went back to work after his 3 month paternity leave stint, I was back to my original duties of primary carer. Oh, joy. What fun.
But the big revelation was that, I started to toy with the idea of getting some help.
A year ago, I never would’ve thought of it. Getting help would’ve been a sign of incompetence, a sure indication of weakness…or something stupid like that. In all of my own absurd opinions, I obviously hadn’t anticipated how uncontrollably insane the toddler years were going to be.
But this year, I’ve decided, is going to be different. And outsourcing some help for a little bit to get me by was where the changes needed to be made.
So, today was my first day with the boys…and an additional pair of hands.
It was a true joy. The morning excursion to the park still had its temperamental moments. But we worked as a team to eventually iron out their little mood swings. Not too long after, I can confidently say we actually had a fun time.
In fact, the whole day was great. It’s sad, but it’s been ages since I can say I had a great day.
The boys went down for their afternoon nap right on cue, which graciously left me with some free time to duck out while our extra pair of hands stayed at home and (you betcha…) I went to get my nails done. (Flashbulb Fuschia, thank you very much).
I don’t even feel guilty about it.
Because I came home and couldn’t wait to hug and play with the boys. Just getting that morning with some help; having an hour to do something just for me; turned out as something positive for all 3 of us.
For once, I didn’t feel outnumbered.
Trish says
So glad you found help that works for making your life smoother and your precious boys more enjoyable to be with.
I know how hard it can be some days xo
Whatever works !
Trish recently posted..Lazy Sunday
mamagrace71 says
Thanks, Trish. Yes, I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about !
How amazing is it that your boys are now off to “big school” ??!!!! 🙂
Tat says
It’s great that you’ve got some help! Even better that you don’t feel guilty about it. Please continue to not feel guilty, most of us would jump at the opportunity to get some help given half the chance.
Love your header image. Great to have you back in blogland!
Tat recently posted..Grateful for an in-law free holiday
mamagrace71 says
Thanks, Tat. You’ve been such a great support during my “off-line” time. I really appreciate it.
I don’t feel guilty because I know I end up being a better mum for the boys after having some free time or just a little assistance. A little bit of help certainly goes a LONG way 🙂
Tam says
You’re still superwoman to me! Would you like to bring your help to tumberlong park for some morning tea?
mamagrace71 says
Unfortunately, I don’t think she’s available on the weekends. Planning birthday festivities for little Miss E ?
Ai Sakura says
Hi dear!! Welcome back to gettting your bloggy groove back! You’ve been missed!! 🙂 look forward to more posts from you.. great help is really, really hard to find so I’m glad you found someone you trust help take care of your darlings 🙂
Ai Sakura recently posted..I’m Worth It | All-Stars Collaboration Video
mamagrace71 says
Thanks, Ai !!! Feels great to be back !!!
Look forward to catching up on your posts…and seeing what other amazing fashion creations you’re going to make 🙂
kirri says
-It’s ok to ask for help.
-It’s imperative to find ways to grab some time for yourself AND use that time for YOU (Flashbulb fuchsia sounds sexy!!)
-Twin toddlers are impossible at the best of times…they run in opposite directions, join forces to oppose their parents just for fun and in my experience, if one is happy and calm, the other one will flare up just because! It’s tough times Gracie but it does get a little easier – promise!
Until then, keep looking after you so that you are able to look after them in the way that you truly desire. No guilt, no compromising…just lots of self-compassion.
Here endeth the rant xx
kirri recently posted..Rockin’ Mamma Interview with Emma Grey
mamagrace71 says
Thanks, Kirri.
It’s true what you’ve said – I just need to learn about self-compassion. (I can be so hard on myself).
And you also know though how tough twin toddlers can be !
It’s definitely interesting, challenging times. But not just because the boys are at that crazy toddler stage. But this has been a confronting time in my life where I’m learning how to take care of myself. x
ava says
You are a super woman to me Grace. I’m glad you have someone to you help you now. The boys are growing really fast! Though, I think you should have posted the bright Flashbulb Fuschia nails. 😉
I’m just glad you are back!
ava recently posted..The Soundtrack of my Life
mamagrace71 says
Just for you, Ava…I have updated the post with a photo of my Flashbulb Fuschia nails 🙂
Hope you like them ! 😉
Deb @ Bright & Precious says
So glad you have a helping hand! You are not weak, you are very strong! Strong enough to ask for help when you need it. And anyone in your position would need it! Enjoy every moment of help, no guilt necessary. You are one amazing mama. xx
Deb @ Bright & Precious recently posted..Advance Australia Fair?
mamagrace71 says
Thanks, Deb. It’s taken me awhile to realise that it’s a-okay to ask for help; that it doesn’t make me a total wuss. I’m slowly getting there. xx
Bridget says
Yay for you! You do deserve it, totally. And the nails? Love it:)
Bridget recently posted..Monday Listicles
mamagrace71 says
Thanks, B! I’m not usually one for bold, flashy nail polish…but for some reason I though, “Meh. What the hay ?” Know what I mean ?
Veronica @ Mixed Gems says
I find it so hard to ask for help, though I think it would be easier if my own family were closer. I am so very grateful that my mum was able to come the day before my waters broke with Lil S. We weren’t sure she was going to be able to come and we had no contingency plan for who would care for Miss T when we went to hospital. I guess you could say we were cutting it fine!
Veronica @ Mixed Gems recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – January Snapshot