Soft rays of daybreak gently touch the window frames casting subtle shadows on the bed.
Slowly the little lump of boy stirs from the covers but as his eyes eventually open, he affectionately nudges closer in. He reaches over to my shoulder beckoning me to lean in and hug him.
Obliged, I gaze into his tiny face.
In front of me is the magical transformation from new born baby innocence to feisty pre-schooler; all in a blink of an eye.
The days go slow but the years speed past.
And as his long lashes flutter and tickle my cheek, the saying couldn’t hold any more truth.
Early mornings used to carry so much anxiety and stress from the night before. Little sleep caused by the constant worry of work and the heavy burden of trying to be the best in whatever corporate game I was playing at the time.
Terrified that motherhood was possibly not part of the game plan, I wrote in my journal countless pleas to the Greater Universe to grant me one of life’s greatest wishes; I prayed earnestly to the God I believed in for my one final request.
Then the gift of parenting was finally bestowed but the tempestuous journey of trial and error began. Learning to heed to natural instincts while keeping the harsh external judgments at bay. There are days that barely touch the surface of survival but holds the desperate hope that your children don’t detect your weaknesses or your flaws.
Abiding the golden rule we’ve instilled when sleeping in “Mama and Papa’s big bed”, he gently whispers as his little hands hold my face.
“Mama, are you happy?”
Where did he learn to say this?
What makes him think that I’m not?
Have I been cross lately?
Is he still upset at me for scolding him at dinner last night?
After many mornings of being asked, I slowly realized that it wasn’t about emotional scarring or prolonged hurt feelings.
There was actually nothing to feel guilty about.
That’s the stuff us adults – within our tarnished, cynical personal lives – automatically assume because no one ever is genuinely concerned about the state of our disposition anymore. Unless it’s for their own benefit, right?
But his little boy of mine was asking because of his own innocent intentions.
In the midst of chaotic parental duties, ensuring that the children are fed and clothed; keeping up with the milestones and thriving as I unnecessarily compare them to others; there was something far more important my son wanted me to know.
So, I’ve learned.
I’ve learned to quietly whisper my reply, “Yes. Yes, my boy, I’m very happy”
Then, I prompt him, “Are you? Are you happy?”
“Yes, Mama. I’m happy too”
Aww.. what a precious boy. Loved this post so much, Grace.
Beautiful. My little boy has a tender side as well.
Where can we bottle them so they stay like this? X
Robomum recently posted..Car Park Rage
Don’t mind me tearing up over here.
Beautiful, sweet boys – I hope you will read this in years to come and understand how much you have given and been given xx
kirri recently posted..Practicing Courage with Kate Swoboda + Your Courageous Life
Oh that is sweet. It’s alwasy so refreshing to remember how beautifully honest our small children are. We are so blessed to have them
EssentiallyJess recently posted..A Great Start to the School Holidays #IBOT
What a little treasure.
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perfection
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Oh I just got a tear in my eye…
Danya Banya recently posted..Mess-Free Painting Idea: Paint with Water
Wow! Such a touching post Grace! We can learn so much from children.
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<3
Emma Fahy Davis recently posted..Two months – plus a giveaway!
Loved this! So beautifully written, Grace. I especially loved the happy ending. Wonder if it’s like when my boys ask me if I love them. Guess I should stop replying, “Of course I do, you fool!”
Nami recently posted..Half or Bi?
Oh – the words that come out of their mouths make me melt. He shows such care and love for you by just that little question as well x
Pip recently posted..All She Wants for Her Birthday Is…[A Family Giveaway]
This is such a special post and gorgeous pic aswell. My little darling always asks how I am and how I’m feeling. I guess it’s because I’m always asking her. My favourite is when I pick her up from daycare and she says, ‘tell me about YOUR day mummy!’ 🙂
Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me recently posted..The big adjustment
It’s so important to recognise when you are happy (or if your rushing around like a mad chook, to stop and realise the split moments are fine). Nice post! Smart boy!
Lydia C. Lee recently posted..An Open Letter to the Nation
Lovely post, Grace. Children have such a beautiful innocent way of keeping it real, don’t they?
Leanne Winter recently posted..Grandparents Are Special People
Beautiful Grace, I have tears in my eyes.
Our kids help us learn so much.
Alana recently posted..Wolf & Word Writing Prompt : Lullaby
Gorgeous post, just gorgeous. Thank you x
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Just adorable what the come out with – Hunter used to ask if I loved him and I was a little bit sad, but maybe it was his way of getting me to say it more every day, which I do – I say: “Hey Hunter, guess what?? I love you” and he rolls his eyes, laughs and say awww mum. I do this a few times a day and he hasn’t asked since 🙂 x
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me recently posted..A plea to the universe, please heal my dad fast and keep him painfree tonight
A great post Grace and a precious moment. I just love this age. So innocent yet so thought provoking for us. I put my little girl in the “thinking spot” yesterday and as I did she said, “don’t be angry mummy, I love you”. Broke my heart. x
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Beautiful post Grace. My almost 4 year old is very into discussing his and my emotions at the moment too. I am often quizzed on a daily bases on my happiness. I think it’s great that our boys are talking about their emotions. I hope to encourage this always xx
Oh dear, school holidays has be so out of whack that I completely forgot to link up yesterday. I even got your post in my inbox and it still didn’t click. Lol. BTW – you’re looking fabbo!
Danya Banya recently posted..Spooky Orange Faces
Oh dear this was supposed to be a comment on your FYBF post that’s clearly gone astray. Must be too early for me…
Danya Banya recently posted..Spooky Orange Faces
Moments like these make the rough days melt away. Love and squishiness, aren’t they precious souls.
Alicia recently posted..Gardening is hard work
Love the new hair Grace! Hmm now I feel like giving myself a makeover 😛 hehe
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