I don’t know if it’s because we had some major changes happening last week (the first week of daycare, having an extra pair of hands…which ended up being a one-off, by the way…oh, well…) but I’m finding myself in this kinda bloggy funk.
I’ve been writing. There’s a couple of drafts there. And I know there’s lots of stuff that’s happened while I was on my bloggy hiatus that I want to record and share. But I’ve just been stuck. I’m not so compelled to come to my site to post or draft anything on a daily basis. (Like I used to). I haven’t even checked my stats in almost a week. (So, so, SO unlike me). And with a big dallop of guilt, I know that I haven’t been participating as much in your blogs. (And for that, I’m sorry).
I thought that once I had my new site up, like a steak done both sides on a grill, I was good to go. I had so much to share. So much catching up to do with all of you.
But it’s as though, I’ve had a big car accident. And I’m really scared to start driving again. Even though I’ve been behind the wheel a couple of times now, I’m still overly cautious of having another crash. Staying 10 kms under the speed limit. Sitting at that “Stop” sign with the quiet intersection, for an extra 10 seconds. Difference is, I’m sure I’m not annoying any other motorists. Just myself.
I also feel that when I do write, I am second guessing myself. Wondering if anything I’m talking about here makes sense. Trying to keep things discreet, yet hoping that you guys can decipher my cryptic behaviour and get where I’m coming from.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this meek. And it really sucks.
I’m hoping that it’s just a time thing. That in a couple of weeks I’ll be back on track. Maybe I’ll just focus on the twinlets for a while.
In the meantime, it just doesn’t feel right. I’m feeling disconnected.