Thanks to throat infections and late night doses of ventolin, we’ve resorted to watching a lot of Thomas the Tank engine.
The obsession has hit unfathomable depths.
In the midst of docile parenting moments, when forced to watch a blasted Thomas DVD for the upteenth time that night, the mind starts to wander…and conjure up imaginary conversations.
I’m sure I’m not going crazy.
But, here’s what I would love to say to those stupid Steamies…
Thomas, you’re not the cheeky one. You’re narcissistic. In your plight to be Sodor’s most hardworking and useful engine, every train seems to be your “best friend”. You’ve got your pistons pumping in everyone’s shed. Thanks to your constant fight for attention, you get in all sorts of unnecessary strife. Getting lost in old mines, crashing trucks of milk and flour. Come on! Get some real fire going in your boiler! Stop stealing the Sodor spotlight and do some real work for a change.
Percy, pet, love. Let me try and break it to you gently. Your steamie crush on Thomas is futile. He’s blue, you’re green. He’s the star of Sodor and you’re stuck with the mail trucks. Hate to say it, but I think you’re going to have to fizzle your fireboxes elsewhere.
The Fat Controller…who in their warped mind thought to call you that? Anyway, dude, you’re a slave driver and every union’s nightmare. The “confusion and delay” on Sodor Railway is largely due to you sitting on your bum in the office all day eating iced buns and drinking tea. And ‘fess up! We all know you’re having a sordid affair with Miss Jenny.
I can smell an anti-Thomas Protest Vlog coming on…
Tell me, which children’s show makes you drives you around the proverbial bend?
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Too funny Grace. Here I am trying not to laugh out loud and wake everyone up! G’s never been that into Thomas, she’s more of a chuggington girl. In fact in the final weeks of my pregnancy with C we watched so much bloody chuggington that when she was born the theme tune stopped C crying and soothed her to sleep!
Catherine Rodie Blagg @CoTaaB recently posted..The A-Z of Relentless Mothering – Part 5
Oh, Chuggington! That tune is so catchy! I find myself singing it all the friggin’ time!!! 🙂
That’s brilliant Grace! I only know Thomas from my youth, because my daughter Elka has no interest in the show. But from what I remember your assessment of the intimate relationship between boilers is pretty accurate! X
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Yes, all a little too intimate for my liking!
Thanks for linking up, Zanni 🙂 x
That’s the sweetest cartoon I’ve ever seen, I’ve always enjoyed it while watching with my little son together!
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Sweet, yes. But definitely annoying after watching it 15 times in one sitting 🙂
Too funny Grace!
I also have concerns about the Fat Controller’s relationship with Mummy. For cripes sake, mate – you’re a grown man!
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Oh yes! That relationship is all sorts of…WRONG! 🙂
Wow…You really know your Thomas hey?! That was brilliant!
I’m impressed that you actually tune in. I had to endure three years of Dora and began to develop a real hate on for that show. My tactic was to find solace in my happy place and replace the show tune with my iPod playlist. Kids shows….enough to drive you insane!!
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Actually, Mr Surfer tunes in even more than me. He’s so on the ball with it.
The boys love Dora when they see her but she’s not on ABC4Kids so she doesn’t make the cut. Poor Dora 😉
I am thankfully at the stage where my boy will play for hours with the trains but other than the opening song cant be bothered with TV…my daughter loves watching Bindy Irwin. There is something so forced about that kids presentation skills that drive me bonkers. I also have the dirtgirlworld theme song in my head – most days. Save me.
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Not dirtgirlworld!!! I think I have the song in my head now that you’ve mentioned it 🙂
Ha ha! I love it. Psychoanalysis of Thomas and friends. This is what happens when we all watch waaay too much ABC for Kids 🙂
Lara at This Charming Mum recently posted..Hump Day Hobbies! DIY furniture (guest post)
And when you also have 10 DVD’s…:-/
Agh Thomas, the boys obsession is finally waning (after 17 years of it!!). So many children’s shows could have this treatment! 😉 xxx
carmen recently posted..The trouble with being me
Oh, don’t tempt me! I think I’ll do Peppa Pig next! 🙂 xxx
Oh you gave me a good chuckle before heading to work! We haven’t had Thomas on for a while, but I remember a time when it was on high rotation!! Although Darbs did find some dvds yesterday arvo and put them on… lucky they were scratched and too damaged to watch! Damn!!! But this is hilarious!! xxxx
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Oh, so you’ve been there and know what it’s all about! Gosh, at least your DVD’s got a lot of use…LOL! 🙂
They used to take this show off on one of those comedy shows. I really enjoyed your take on it! I don’t mind it that much. A show called Rasta Mouse gives me the wallies!
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Oh God, Rasta Mouse! I was only just saying the other day how much I hated that terrible show! We all know those mice are smoking weed in between takes!
Kylez…aka…Mrs.P recently posted..Thankful Thursday – Glorious Weather
Stop mocking Rasta Mouse. Me like dat Rasta Mouse show mon!
Kelly @ HT and T recently posted..Face to face with an intruder
I hate the Rasta Mouse too! Is it racist to be on the look out for bongs in the background?
Thomas has always driven me mad, although my 3yo has loved him forever. Finally we are getting on to superheroes so I’m happy. Except for the small fortune I’ve spent on track and toys! Thomas is an idiot! He effs up all the time! He is selfish, stupid, disobedient and, as Grace said, completely narcissistic. The class warfare between the Steamies and the Diesels is a bit much too. The fat controller lets them all get away with murder! Send Thomas to the smelter and then I think we’ll see a much better run railway on the Island of Sodor!
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I would’ve loved to see one of those comedy shows!
I actually like Rasta Mouse…their accents are too funny 🙂
hilarious! – Well done. The illiterate infant households pain is equally inflicted by Peppa Pig – I may need to write a follow up to your post
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Oh, yes!!! Do it!!! I can’t wait to read the end product 🙂
I hate Thomas the Tank Engine! I got way too much of it when my brother and sisters were little and I just can’t stand the little bugger! I declared even before Mia was born that if anyone bought any Thomas the Tank Engine crap in to my house they would be banned and the offending goods burnt! I intend to put a parental lock on the show as well so it can’t accidentally be watched by an impressionable young girl! Now, I just need to make sure anyone I know with kids is aware so they don’t show it to her!
Kylez…aka…Mrs.P recently posted..Thankful Thursday – Glorious Weather
Wow! You hate Thomas more than me! Then again, if you’ve been exposed to it when you were a child, I would be feeling the same.
Do you remember teletubbies?? I’m not sure if they are still showing it but I really disliked it when it aired!! They are just so.. Weird? I mean talking purple dinos and trains and bananas are weird too but they were quite irritating too!
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Yes, I kinda remember the teletubbies and I thought they were soooo weird too! I didn’t like how they didn’t talk. No one did. Like it was a sci fi show for kids…
I hate peppa pig. Seriously, she is so annoying.
But I’m thinking everything pales into comparison compared to your version of Thomas! It’s like days of our lives but steamier!
Jess recently posted..My Son, the Romancer
Ooooh, Peppa Pig!!! My boys love her…she annoys the heck out of me too!
lol thanks for the chuckle! I can’t say I’ve really experienced much of Thomas the Tank Engine…but my son’s name is Thomas and he is a massive baby. He gets called “Thomas the Tank” a lot and is stuck with a massive amount of their merchandise so I dare say, I’ll be watching a heap of it when he hits the toddler years 😉
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Oh, dear! It looks like the writing’s already on the wall for him! 🙂
Ha Grace – you crack me up. I personally can’t STAND In the Night Garden and my 2 year old will never ever EVER get hooked on The Fairies. It’s not the shittest show around but it’s highly addictive and I’m 100% over the saccharine fairy obsession. ENOUGH!
Kimberley M recently posted..The Pint-sized Trickster
LOL! The twinlets love ITNG. For me, it’s a great time to have a power nap on the couch. Now The Fairies…I’ve never heard of that one…
Ah yes, the fat controller and Miss Jenny…. 🙂
You always put a smile on my face, Gracie.
Ronnie xo
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Haha! Glad to see I’m not the only one that sees it!
Hope you’re having a great weekend, Ronnie! xxx
This is a post so brilliant I wish that I had written it myself. Wouldn’t you just love to see the Fat Controller cause a scandal for public service rorting? He does expect the engines to give his mother special treatment after all.
Mumrades – Here’s something to ease the pain of your kids TV viewing. The guy who plays Robby Rotten in Lazy Town is actually a smoldering Clive Owen look alike underneath all the prosthetic. I know because I Googled it. Sad really.
https://www.imdb.com/media/rm4082284288/nm1133284
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Oh, he’s the guy in Lazy Town! Total hotness! Okay, there’s a show I can watch again now 🙂
And yes! Seeing an episode of the Fat Controller being the corrupt public servant that he is would make me very happy! 🙂
Take heart, the Thomas obsession will come to an end! We went through it, too, and now my kids are still playing with the trains but is not the one and only thing that they would ever do.
Tat recently posted..How will the baby come out?
I’m sure it’ll end…eventually. Just seems like a looooong way away 🙂
Haha Grace! That’s funny! I have to say it’s been a very long time since Thomas was present in my house, but yes… even my boys watched it, years ago. But the one that drove me mad was Postman Pat. My eldest son particularly loved to watch Postman Pat repeatedly, in those days it was on VHS. I can still remember the jingle “Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his black & white cat”… Damn it! Now that will be on repeat in my head for the rest of the day!
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Gah! Thanks, Lisa! Now I have the Postman Pat song in my head!!! LOL! 🙂
I’ve most certainly done my Thomas Time. So I loved and appreciated that. As a toddler, my boy used to run all his words together and speak fast. Therefore there was much excitement when ThomasandPercyandtheFuckentroller came on. There are so many annoying shows I don’t know where to start but I did see something that made me feel better about my years of Thomas I will never get back and I CRIED IT WAS SO RUDELY FUNNY:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kMw_Sx_nCY
xxx
Twitchy recently posted..Arrest The Mother!
OMG, Twitchy!!! This video is hilar! Off to show it to Mr Surfer 🙂
Dora, hands down. Can’t stand what a know-it-all she is, and how she never, EVER, makes a mistake or fails.
Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right recently posted..6 thoughts on ‘gifted and talented’ programs
And that bloody back pack song! Total earworm!!!
Something about Gordon annoys me! I think he’s just dorky! Thanks for the laugh Grace. And I’m with Rachel….Dora does begin to irritate!
I agree, Martine. Gordon’s so annoyingly pompous and arrogant…drives me balmy 🙂
Hahaha Grace I LOVE IT! You’ve hit the nail on the head for sure. Thomas IS such a narcissist! Thanks for the laugh, I’ll think of this whenever H pulls out his Thomas set to play now 🙂 x
Kelly @ HT and T recently posted..Face to face with an intruder
Glad you agree, Kelly! It’s all about “Moi, moi, moi” with that annoying Steamie 😀
Ah, “Tosser, the Tank Engine” is right up there for me with “Little Einsteins” – can you say “pre-ten-tious”? – followed by children’s entertainers that can’t actually sing.
Pebble loves Peppa Pig and Play School (how’s that for alliteration!?) as well as Timmy Time and Mister Maker. I love all of these shows too, thank goodness. I can’t stand the Wot Wots or Rasta Mouse.
I actually don’t mind the Wot Wots or Rasta Mouse, Kylie. I hope you’ll still talk to me 🙂
This is hilarious! You should write some Thomas books for adults (kind of like the ‘Go the F to sleep’) I would much rather read your Thomas stories then the real Thomas.
Oooh, now there’s an awesome idea! Think of the juicy plots and bizarre twists I can conjure up then 🙂
hilarious! watched my fair share of thomas when my kids were little! i never liked curious george – books or show. he never ever has to take responsibility for his actions. and the man with the yellow hat? not so smart.
kendal recently posted..summer smiles and sighs
What a giggle!
I don’t watch Thomas but we do sing the tune. ‘They’re two, they’re four, they’re six, they’re eight…’ I know, but I like singing and it’s catchy. :p
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Oh, Penny…if only you knew how many times I have sung that friggin’ tune…how many times I’ve gone to bed with it in my head…
Thanks for hosting us Grace 🙂
Leanne
Welcome, Leanne 🙂
Gosh G, I really think you have a new calling…creative writing and vlogging.
That was great to read.
I love how the “up with the dawn” mums comment really really early too.
Look here, Grandma obviously doesn’t have to be up then.
In almost 16 years of grandparenting I have listened to and watched many and some have been cute because of how the grandkids loved them. Oh and I am also a great Early Childhood education fan so I look at some tv differently. Maybe.
Standout moments for me: Wiggles on High, very High Rotation for Toot Toot Chugga Video (yes a VHS) and each of the oldest grandkids would hop into bed with me, and snuggle up to watch (and have bottles) while I “tried” to close my eyes. I do know the Wiggles very very very well.
Dora. I only heard Dora since the youngest grandkids have been here. She is intensely annoying but, she has kept the younger ones amused for a bit longer when I have needed, ahem, a break ( you know the twitter, facebook, blog ones) What stood out for me was when the kids started counting in spanish. I realised..oh..woah! Too much of a good thing?
Maisie. I liked it because of the bloke’s voice (Neil) and H watched this (it’s a series DVD) over and over and over when his Mum and Dad got married and we did ‘2 overnights’ and H was just 3. It helped me!
D xx
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Wiggles, Dora and Maisie…well, D…you have seen it all, haven’t you. Now I know I wouldn’t have any worries if I get you to baby sit the twinlets 🙂 xxx
Oh you gave me the biggest giggle today! I can’t stand Loffy from Bob the bulider, he is such a drama queen and so negative…”Can we fix it! Yes we can” and then good old Lofty charms in “I think so”!! argh!!!!!!!!
Oooh, Loffy is sooooo annoying! There’s always the one character who needs to grow a backbone, isn’t there? 😉
Finally got in at the last Friday minute!
I cannot stand “In the Night Garden”. I’m so appreciative the girls don’t really like the show! I must say though, that I found myself the other day “cursing” with “Cheese and Whiskers!” the other day. Maybe we watch a tad too much “Bananas in Pajamas”!
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So you would’ve groaned and rolled your eyes when I commented on your blog post the other week about how ITNG makes me feel all nostalgic 🙂
“Cheese and Whiskers” ? Oh V, you are losing the plot. Time to come out with me again and let me steal your glass of wine 🙂
oh yep, I’ve done my Thomas time in the trenches. I’m somewhat grateful to him because he occupied my 2-year-old (now five year old) when I was sick and couch-ridden, but the 2-year-old also used to hide under the couch (because those trains are so naughty, Mum!) when they used to bash into coal or go off the rails, or whatever, and we’d have lots of soothing to do, so I could never figure out whether it was worse to turn it off, or leave it on. It certainly has a lot to answer for.
My gosh, you’re a genius! Fortunately, my boys never got into Thomas all that much but in the few moments I was subjected to the nonsense, I’ve never once thought to call him narcissistic. Bravo, for that. As far as children’s shows go, I absolutely FORBID my entire family to ever expose Barney. I just don’t trust kid-touching purple dinosaurs, what can I say?
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