The phone rings and spotting the caller ID number, I take a deep breath.
“Hi, mum…”
It’s the usual conversation, a mix of banter and small talk. She wants to speak to the kids. Switching to speaker, I hand the phone over and continue to cook dinner. In the background I can hear K-Bear explaining to his Opung intricate details of the premise to Planes: Fire and Rescue.
Nunu bear sends her kisses through the phone then as I return back from the kitchen, hands it back to me.
“Everything okay?” I ask dad, expecting the typical complaint of how cold Canberra winters are.
“Well, mum had a fall yesterday”
“Oh…”
One brief sentence momentarily stops my breathing.
“Just in the backyard. She’s only split her lip. Going for a short surgery.”
Just. Only. Short.
Through my teenage years when my parents used to make a big deal out of everything – my constant partying and weakness for bad boyfriends, – how come they can get away with this?
How come this doesn’t sky rocket in the scale of holy shit disasters?
They insist I stay put. No need to come over at all.
They don’t realise that yes, of course I could comply and not budge but I wouldn’t feel right.
We hang up. But I call back to tell them I’m coming over.
Again, they tell me not to come, kinda like they don’t want me there, anyway.
But through time and countless attempts to crack through my mother’s abruptness and stubborn behaviour, I’ve (mostly) got her figured out.
“No. I’m coming. We’ll be there tomorrow,” I stand firm.
“But it’s cold. And you’re tired from working…” her voice is weak which makes me even more convinced I’ve made the right decision.
Then what surfaces in her excuses, is the actual truth.
“And, and…I haven’t prepared any food for you. Also, the house is a mess…”
Three words. Typical Asian mother.
Food must always be on the table. House must be spotlessly clean.
Even if the guest is just your daughter. Your own daughter who sees and tries (oh, so very hard) to accept all your flaws and shortcomings because well, secretly she knows.
She knows that to some degree, she’s simply an extension of you.
Are you an extension of your mother? Is she as stubborn as mine? What traits have you inherited?
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My mum was IN hospital for 3 days and they didn’t tell me because ‘they didn’t want to worry me’. I had to tick them off like they were naughty children. I wonder if you get to an age where you’ve seen so much that you just down play everything so you don’t go insane…
Lydia C. Lee recently posted..Better Jobs
I hope your mum is okay.
Ingrid @ fabulous and fun life recently posted..Introducing Your Teenager to Skin Cleansing & Exfoliation
I am slowly turning into my mother, which isn’t really a bad thing because she was awesome and everyone loved her! Haha. She was such a girly girl and I am definitely the same. Make up and hair done before stepping foot outside (yep, especially with what age is doing to my complexion!), a love of all things pretty and nice and some weird quirky habits. CHECK!
Hope your mums ok!
Oops, hooked up the wrong website. Doh! Friday morning, onto the third coffee already! Gonna be one of those days 🙂
Haidee recently posted..The Curse of Selective Hearing
Grace you made the right decision. I hope your mum is ok. It might be a nice break from work to see your parents. xx
Bec @ The Plumbette recently posted..The week that flew
My mum (who ALWAYS attributes talents or character flaws to specific genetic contributors) always saw me as being like my dad, and my brother as being like her, in terms of personality. Over the decades it is actually becoming clear that the opposite is true, and I would never have picked it either. They are both good people anyway, so I guess it didn’t matter too much either way.
Gael – The Vinyl Edition recently posted..3 Food ‘Things’ We Didn’t Have in the 70s
And I hope your mum is OK, Grace.
I never believe anything my parents say when it comes to their health. A year and a half back my mum rang me to (reluctantly) tell me dad was in hospital and had been for 2 days. He was actually in the critical care ward and on oxygen – so something I think I should have been told about. The only reason she rang was because it was his birthday the next day and she knew I’d be ringing to wish him a happy birthday! More recently with his cancer, it’s been a similar story except I ring A LOT now and I insist on going to all the appointments that I can get to so I REALLY know what’s going on. Talk about role reversal or what!
Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted..The real face of albinism
No. I’m more of an extension of my father. I hope your Mum is fine. It must have been a big split to need surgery. My parents withhold health information too! Why do they do it?
Pinky Poinker recently posted..Don’t Read This Unless You Have a Strong Stomach!
I hope everything’s okay Grace. Hugs hugs hugs xx
EmIly recently posted..How I stop myself from yelling at the kids
Oh my goodness yes!!! My mum and I are SO similar in looks and personality… and yep, we’re both stubborn as anything. We drive each other crazy at times, but really are best of friends. I totally adore my beautiful mum. Love this post!!
Lucy @ Bake Play Smile recently posted..Fabulous Foodie Fridays #55
Hi Grace
I hope your mum is OK and the only real injury is her split lip. One thing is for sure,we all turn into our mothers eventually.
Carolyn
Desire Empire recently posted..A Beautiful French Home in Greater Paris
Thanks for your kind wishes, Carolyn. I know at one stage I couldn’t bear the thought of turning into my mother. These days, I think it would be an honour x
Oh Grace, I hope everything is okay. It must be a difficult thing when roles are reversed and a parent needs nurturing from their child. Sending good thoughts x
Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad recently posted..A Letter Of Apology To My Vagina
I don’t think I’m much like either of my parents actually! I mean, of course I have some traits they do, because they raised me, but overall I don’t ever feel like I have much in common with them.
Vanessa recently posted..WIN: Melbourne Oz Comic-Con Tickets!
I hope your mum heals quickly Grace.
My Mum isn’t too stubborn but at times isn’t so good at letting me know if something has happened to her or Dad, she gives me the whole. ‘we didn’t want to worry you’ and that so makes it ok, not!
You always have to go with your gut feeling.
I’d be lost without my Mum xx
Dannielle@Zamamabakes recently posted..Fabulous Foodie Fridays #55
Oh wow hope mum is OK. My dad is the stubborn one – he had an op and didn’t tell anyone til after he was home and recuperating. I was furious!
Mumma McD recently posted..Normal breastfeeding? What is ‘normal’ anyway?
I think I got my humour from my mum. And I hope I have her generosity. Hope your mum’s op goes ok xx
Amy @ handbagmafia recently posted..Marriage Equality & Misplaced Outrage
Just beautiful Grace. Mums are our worlds.. I realise this even more now that I’m a mum.. Big kisses to your mum
Natalie @ our parallel connection recently posted..Are you serious? Where am I going wrong?
Oh no! Poor mum.
Yes, I am an extension of my mother …
And that whole “there is no food in the house and the house is a mess” thing applies to both of us too!
Safe trip to Canberra.
L
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit recently posted..Day 2074 – Bethany Mota
I think that’s the first time I’ve seen your baby photo.. the boys look so much like you!!
Hope the surgery goes well for your mama. Please send my regards to her!!
P.S. Going to your Indonesian hood this weekend! 🙂 Woohoo!
Ai Sakura recently posted..Bali Beach Dreams Await
I really hope everything is ok with your mum. Thinking of you.
Raych aka Mystery Case recently posted..Worth Casing Wednesday – Newsworthy
Mums don’t like their kids to worry about them do they. Hope she is ok! x
Mothers are so precious. My mum also stresses about the food and cleanliness of the house – as if I care!! I hope your darling mum is on the mend quickly xx
Kaz @ Melting Moments recently posted..WWU – The Princess Edition (and a Hippo Blue Giveaway)
Yes, I am like my Mum. Although I hope that I am not as stubborn as her! I don’t think so because I differ from her because I normally tackle problems with brutal honesty and plow straight through rather than her tactic of stubbornly refusing to budge! In any case, mother’s are the centre of our world, so I hope that your mother recovers quickly.
Caitlin recently posted..I Was Offended by Sexualisation of Women on Mother’s Day
My mum is exactly the same about the house and the food, and it’s worse now we live so far apart. I try to go back to the UK and she spends weeks if not months preparing for the visit because she wants everything to be perfect. I find it really frustrating but what is more frustrating is that I am exactly the same when we have people over. I am officially turning into my mom but that’s ok because she’s pretty awesome. I really hope your mum is ok and I’m sure that having you there will make a world of difference x
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid recently posted..She’s So Inspiring – Katie Manning
Oh Grace I hope your Mum is ok and is on the mend quickly, such a frightening call to receive x
Lauren @ Create Bake Make recently posted..Fabulous Foodie Fridays #55
I hope your mum is ok! I think I am probably a lot like my mum which used to make me cringe, but now I think I am more than ok with it.
Malinda @mybrownpaperpackages recently posted..My Friday Favourites: Planning with Kids
It’s always heartening to read about other people’s parental connections… it is so true, we are extensions of our parents. They are some of societies wonderful teachers. Blessings, LM♥
Leanda Michelle recently posted..Connect. Create. Communicate.
I hope your Mum is okay Grace. I am very much like my Mum. I often say something then think that’s something my Mum would say. My Mum is a very loving and caring person, I like to think that I got those traits from her 🙂 x
Julie @ Off to the park recently posted..Being grateful: Trusting my gut
Best wishes to your mum for a speedy recovery.
Fairlie recently posted..Free e-guide to creating memorable moments
I hope your Mum’s feeling OK now Grace. Of course you want to be there with her. Take care xx
Lisa@RandomActsOfZen recently posted..Old? Not Me!
I hope she’s okay. You made the right decision to go.
I hope I”m like my mom. She was the sweetest woman. So gracious and encouraging. I still miss her every day. Hug your mom lots while you’re there.
Mary Denman recently posted..Photo Tip Friday: Look Straight Up or Down to Create Interesting Shots
oh dear. I hate hearing that but I know you will do what you want to do and it will be for you to be reassured. I am not my (late) mum but I am my dad…and this is both a good thing and a not so good thing. Because he was/is so damn judgemental about family and people in general I go out of my way to resist this and so I am mindful of not wanting to be seen by my kids as he is/was. Complicated. ooops. Overshared. D xx
Denyse recently posted..Learning To Paint. 163/365.
I don’t know anything about my mother really, although dad says I’m feisty like her.Apparently she once kicked some guy in the nuts when he got out of his car in the middle of traffic to road rage at her. That kinda sounds like me.
I tend to reject any similarity between us out of a generally antagonistic feeling towards the woman who was capable of completely cutting off from her family and never ever contacting us again. She lives on the outskirts of Sydney somewhere, I sent her photo’s through her parents when her granddaughters were born… still no dice, so I doubt very much I’d know if there was anything wrong. I’ll get a phone call one day I imagine, or maybe a letter. Something official from somewhere to let me know, you know, that I don’t actually have a mother anymore.
Cass recently posted..Finding Carter – Review
I hope your mum is ok, a big hug from you and the kids should do wonders too, yep, sometimes you’ve just got to go with your instinct and go, they would do the same for us. I’m like my mum, just did the same thing for her last week, was wonderful to see her. Grab every chance I say we don’t know when they will end. xxx
sarah@tomfo recently posted..DIY Concrete Stool
I’m probably quite the opposite to my mum actually. Although I do sometimes say things to bub and think holy shit I’ve turned into my mum. Hope your mum is doing ok Grace.
Toni @ Finding Myself Young recently posted..Keeping kids safe with Dreambaby® | review + giveaway
Hi Grace, I think it is in a parent’s nature to downplay their troubles when talking to their kids. (Even when they become adults!) We nursed our mum who passed away from cancer so she couldn’t hide anything from us.
When I think about it now – I’m pretty sure my sister got most of mum’s genes and traits. I see mum in her a lot. Which is nice because I turn to her when I need support and someone to talk to.
I hope that your mum is doing ok!
I do hope your mum is okay. She sounds a bit like my mum. Whenever she is over, she silently raises an eyebrow and starts tackling the housework. And there is always food at her place.
Robyna | The Mummy and the MInX recently posted..Appreciating the skin you are currently in
My mum is ever the optimist, which is a lot like me really! She has a few health problems but you wouldn’t know from talking with her. Hope your mum is ok. I’m sure the fact that you reach out to her means a lot. My mum also has to make sure there’s plenty of food, she’s German and always wants to feed us and her grandkids because apparently we don’t eat enough 😉
Erika @ Ever-changing Life of a Mum recently posted..Marbles – the best ever reward system!
The older I get the more I become an extension of my mother. This would have horrified me in my late teens/early twenties, but now I embrace it. If I can be half the woman she is I will be happy.
Kylie Purtell – A Study in Contradictions recently posted..One Perfect Moment {Double Exposure} | Life