Coming out of the good little church going girl, I caught wind of the glamour and mystery of the secular world when hitting high school.
Leaving out the drugs and the sex, I was only interested in the rock and roll.
Those classical piano lessons finally paid off when joining the high school rock band. Me and 4 guys, we were destined for fame and fortune…once our repertoire expanded from Men at Work and Joan Jetts and the Blackhearts.
We played for the high school musical and one concert on our own.
World domination can certainly wait. And it still does.
My first illegal drink was vodka and orange juice in a polystyrene cup. My head spun and danced, giddy with naughty excitement and the taste of liquor, which I secretly thought was too bitter for my innocent taste buds.
The first legal pub is now a renowned lesbian bar in Canberra called “Tilley’s”. The first bought legal drink being a Heinken and kept the bottle for years to come. It was my rite of passage.
Life was okay. Not that it was ever entirely terrible. I just wanted to make it like it was.
I was confined in the four walls of Canberra, desperate to get out, leave the religious realms of very strict Indonesian parents and taste real, adult life.
The intention was to quit Yr 12, 2 months before graduation.
Certainly had ambition, while the existence of intelligence and discipline was questionable.
“I want to see the world!” I cried in a heap for no other reason than just your usual pent up teenage angst and emotion.
“I’m going to work for a year selling dresses in Cue then go backpacking around Europe…”
Wild, crazy, irrational plans.
Instead, I crashed my parents car right off the road.
Sternly pointed back to my humbling place as a kid with no money and no control over my own life. I succumbed to the idea that university was only, yet long-term ticket out.
I smoked Benson and Hedges Extra Mild, never considering its dangers to my health. Just let me feel glamorous and important, dammit.
Too many times I dived into the murky waters of unrequited love.
Secretly leaving a Valentine’s Day card under the windscreen of my crush’s ute, the carefully handwritten words filled with desperate hope to have someone see me as beautiful. Not funny, cute or feisty. But just exquisitely beautiful.
Only now do I realize how bold yet pathetically stupid that gesture was.
Luckily, he’s a forgiving guy.
Meeting up many years later, he introduced me to his little boy, “This is Grace, she’s a really lovely lady…”
He smiled, meeting my eyes trying to assure me that the past had its own place and time.
Yes. Life as a directionless teenager has it’s own little unique box, filled with scraps of embarrassing, uncomfortable moments, revolutionary thoughts and deep, confusing emotions.
Joining Rachel of The Inappropriate Blog and The Lounge Lizards to talk about the teen years.
Oh, the teenage angst and escaping the confines of a religious upbringing – I hear you! I don’t have time to write a post on it today, but what I will say is all you Lounge ladies are going to love my book. It’s called “Returning” – and teen times feature!
Francesca recently posted..A Little List of Thankful
I started smoking when I started uni too and I just so desperately wanted to live in a town where no one knew my name. I still smoke occasionally now (usually when I have had too much to drink) and the feelings all come flooding back.
Thanks for sharing your story Grace xx
Tegan recently posted..Fairy’s don’t wear shoes
Wow. Have a Ron Sexsmith poster in our toilet advertising his national tour, including a show at Tilley’s. They would have had a shock there when a sensitive Canadian singer-songwriter walked out on the stage!
Ed @ The Tunnel recently posted..Tony Abbott’s daughters twerk their magic at campaign launch
Haha! A HUGE shock!
My first alcoholic drink was a Vodka UDL and I used to smoke Dunhill Blues – arh, to be a teenager again. HAHA!
Sam Stone recently posted..Beginner Photography – Aperture
This is really beautifully written and paints a vivid picture of you a young adult. I was SUCH a goody goody that it never occurred to me to sneak a drink or do anything daring. Haven’t changed.
Loved reading this. xo
Ness recently posted..The Nerdiest Girl In The School
How cool you were in the school band – what a rockstar!!! I can’t remember my first alcoholic drink, probably a mixture of whatever was in my parent’s booze cabinet – or a swig of mum’s wine cooler or dad’s beer!!! This photo is just gorgeous and so innocent, bless x
Emily @ Have a laugh on me recently posted..On being a mother to five for the weekend – Wordless Wednesday
Meanwhile I got completely shattered on Coolabah cask wine at a family BBQ. Not cool. So not cool.
BTW – do you really think that luuuuurve (lust) would have been quite so heart poundingly exciting if it had been requited?
Mumabulous recently posted..Suppository Of Wisdom
Spot on Mumab, spot on. It’s so true. Even if not requited, then a mystery – does he like me, does he not like me?
Kimberley M recently posted..Teenage Dagbag
Ah, so true, Mumabulous! But why didn’t anyone have their heart pound excitedly over me??? Me????!!! 😛
Very nicely written, you took me back there… thrilled to hear you were in a rock band. Also glad you did Year 12, so tempting to break free but didn’t work well for my pals who did. With boys aged 16 and 13, all I can say is that I am so glad I don’t have to be a teenager again.
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Love it, Gracie. You were so GOOD, but please, Benson & Hedges? I don’t think we can be friends. Kx
Kimberley M recently posted..Teenage Dagbag
Because of the brand or because of the smoking? If brand then sure, everyone’s entitled to their preference. But as a reformed teenage smoker myself I have to support Grace in her… uhhm… questionable choices. And she had more taste than me because I smoked Winfield Blue bleeeuurrrrghhh!!!!
Rachel recently posted..Confessions of a Teenage Dirtbag: Part 1
Winnie blues were the cut offs of Benson & Hedges…apparantely! So, I win in the classy stakes?? 😛
Because of the brand, Rach. I was a Winfield girl myself. Shocking habit, shocking. But isn’t that what teenagedom is all about – experimentation. By the way, Grace is one lovely lady it’s impossible not to like – impossible! (I said that with a posh French Chef accent – can you tell?) kx
Or was it Dunhill? Maybe it was Dunhill – this is going back 20 years! Kx
Kimberley M recently posted..Teenage Dagbag
Like Ness I was a goody goody. Too scared of my neurotic mother to do anything else!
Janet at Redland City Living recently posted..Plotting My Downfall
I love this post Grace! I reckon I’d have been friends with you as a teen. What with the band connections and all. So cute X
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I loved the fact that you channeled your classical piano lessons into the school rock band. I would have killed to be in ours! What I relate to most in this post (apart from the daggy smoking!) is that feeling of wanting some of the excitement of the adult world. So much of my teenage years seemed to be about waiting for things to happen – waiting to be old enough or cool enough to go out ant meet life head on.
This was a beautiful post Grace – thank you for sharing it x
Rachel recently posted..Confessions of a Teenage Dirtbag: Part 1
Such a well written account Grace, crashed the car, wanted to escape to see the world, to be seen as beautiful… oh the Valentine’s Card thing! You remind me of one of my own cheeky mission impossibles… xx
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ALL THE ANGST! Oh god teenagehood…and unrequited love. SOOOOO painful! Why did we do it!?
Sarah@Slapdash Mama recently posted..What to wear on election day.
Good to hear about your Teenage years, makes you human to hear your past!!!
And I love how you wanted to escape Canberra and travel – do you still have that travel bug?
My teenage years are so embarrassing cause I went to an all girls school and could never ever hold a conversation with boys!!
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