It’s the crack of dawn, the day after I’ve arrived back home from the Digital Parents Conference.
For once, I’m okay about being up so early. Maybe it’s because I’ve miraculously slept solid for almost 8 hours straight. But I think it’s mainly due to just being happy. Happy that I’m home.
I had a fabulous time at the conference. I met up with some of my nearest and dearest in this blogosphere. I also became further acquainted with others. The days were busy keeping in time to the jam-packed schedule of workshops and networking.
But throughout the entire trip, I couldn’t fight the sporadic pangs of homesickness.
It actually took me by surprise. Taking a logical perspective, this wasn’t the first time I had been away from the family. I had ripped off the initial band-aid of parent/child separation anxiety 8 months ago. It was for another bloggers conference. Again in Melbourne. With almost the same crazy schedule. Last time, I was relishing in the “just me moments”. Loving every second of that exhilarating sense of independence.
However, on this occassion, I was being a complete, emotional wuss.
I couldn’t figure it out. Maybe it was because they’re a lot more interactive now. Or that I had more time to actually think of them as little people developing into their beautiful personalities, rather than just worrying about the mundane duties of feeding and sleeping times. Perhaps it’s because the boys are older and stronger and I was coming to grips with the fact that they’re picking up on their own sense of independence.
The first night, while my roomie was out and about till late in the evening, I tried to sleep. Tossing and turning, making at least half a dozen trips to the toilet, subconsciously thinking of home. I thought I’d watch a video I took of the boys to help me ease into slumber. But then something caused me to change my mind. Watching their familiar movements and comical gestures on a small screen but with all that distance between us, was only going to make the pain worse. And sobbing alone in a strange, dark hotel room was not going to be my thing that night. So, I kept the phone away.
The next day, wandering around the exhibition booths during morning tea, I spotted Thomas the Tank Engine books. The same ones my boys have and love. At home, I hate Thomas. He’s annoying because he’s friggin’ EVERYWHERE.
With one glance at those books and the maternal yearn in me reached an all time pathetic high. I started getting teary thinking of my boys. Stupid Really Useful Engine.
At that moment, I bumped into Lee of Mummy Issues Part 2, Kate of Our Little Sins and my dear friend, Deb from Bright and Precious.
It was the first time I was meeting Lee and although I had met Kate before, it had been awhile. Apologising for my blubbering mess, the girls giggled.
“If there’s anywhere you can cry for your boys, Grace…it’s here” Kate smiled.
Dang, of course ! I was at a parenting bloggers conference.
And I guess this was the big difference between that first conference to this one.
It was a comforting reminder that being a mum was our common-denominator. Being a blogger was almost second in line. Tears and emotion was going to be allowed. Welcomed, even.
kirri says
Tears and emotion are always welcome and accepted with beautiful friends like you x
That torn feeling that we have as mummas….I wonder if it ever weakens or goes away?
I miss you already x
kirri recently posted..Rockin’ Mamma interview with Deb Mills
mamagrace71 says
I think I’m pretty convinced now it certainly doesn’t weaken. Maybe different degrees of intensity but never weaken. I miss you more xxx
Deb @ Bright & Precious says
Tears and emotion are definitely welcome! We are not only mothers, we are human! I’m so sorry that I didn’t realise how sad you were when I briefly chatted to you before this pic. Extra big belated hugs! Grace, your love for your boys is beautiful. The fact that you were emotional about them on your trip shows what a great mama you are. xx
Deb @ Bright & Precious recently posted..Blossom Bomb
mamagrace71 says
I was happy to see you so the sad stuff took a back seat…momentarily 🙂 Then we all headed back in for “My Blog My Story” and I (as well as the 180+ in the room) lost it again.
So lovely to see you !!! We need to organise a proper catch up ! xxx
Alice says
Grace you are an amazing Mama helping others be the best parent they can be!Glad to see that the conference was such a success. Maybe one day I’ll get to attend. x A
Alice recently posted..Say Hello Workshop
mamagrace71 says
Thanks, Al ! Hopefully you’ll come next year ? Yes ? 🙂 xxx
Veronica @ Mixed Gems says
I think the reason we feel this way is summed up in Elizabeth Stone’s quote:
“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
Those invisible heart strings are always tugging especially when we are apart.
Veronica @ Mixed Gems recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Remnants of Summer
mamagrace71 says
I do love that quote ! And yes, those heart strings were tugging quite hard over those few days 🙂
Kate Sins says
Oooh Grace, it was so lovely to see you again. I wonder what the next conference will bring!? x
Kate Sins recently posted..When I grow up I’m going to be…
mamagrace71 says
I don’t know, Kate but I’m so glad I bumped into you when I did. Your words just rang so true and gave me a sense of comfort. Thank you ! x
Bridget says
I thought you were going to tell us you were pregnant!
Bridget recently posted..Monday Listicles
mamagrace71 says
Funny you should say that……..no, just kidding ! 🙂
Glowless says
I revel in my time apart from Tricky, because it lets me step back from the day to day and see him for what he is: a freakin awesome kid, not just a nagging fungus that is unable to fix his own snacks. But four days was a bit too long.
I was apparently sobbing to Magneto Bold Too in our hotel room that “I miiiiissssssss Triiiiickyyyyyyyyyyyy”. She thought it was strange that I actually referred to him as Tricky 😛
Glowless recently posted..You know you’re getting old when…
ava says
You are just simply being a mother. I am a tad envious of your parenting conferences Grace-ie. I haven’t attended any blog conference yet, I’m sure it would be a blast. 🙂
ava recently posted..March Surprise!