Sweet Homeward Bound

There are days when pockets of contentment swirl around my little domestic realm.  Happily plonking themselves for a substantial sitting, they take me by surprise.

Not to say that the rest of the time life is unbearable and full of dissatisfaction.

But, I think you know what I mean. It’s those little capsules of time when life goes exceptionally well; when the kids have slept well, fed well and loved-up.

Hence, you are too.

For me though, it turns somewhat bittersweet. Difficult to describe the feeling, it can only be narrowed down to homesickness.

I start to wish that – along with all this domestic bliss – my little family and I could somehow immediately transport ourselves to my birth country.

How these precious moments would, not necessarily mean more, but definitely hold a different dynamic if we were in Indonesia.

I miss it.

And since being married, the longing to return has somewhat intensified, turning into a small ache.

The last time we went, was a trip to Bali 4 years ago. A memorable holiday that also marks our engagement.

And this very special country, that makes up the essence of who I am – my values, my strengths, my vulnerabilities, the comforts within my own identity – is missing out on the major chapters of my life.

It’s like I need to get back in touch with a long lost relative.

These first couple of years of raising twins has meant that travelling has been limiting. Even more so when one has egg and nut allergies.

So, while we’ve been able to enjoy domestic family holidays, the islands of Indonesia have been waiting patiently for us.

Full of natural lush green beauty, heart warming hospitable people, it’s also been crippled with natural disasters, civil unrest and terrorism.

But now we’ve developed our skills as confident parents. We realise that trying to predict the risks and dangers can’t stop them from actually happening; taking all possible precautions can only protect us in so many ways but in the end, life is what it is.

Full of unknowns and adventures.

Beyond a holiday, this is a homecoming.

The familiar, welcoming scents of sandalwood, cinnamon and nutmeg.

Roosters crowing at the crack of dawn.

The big, wide friendly smiles of my people.

I know as soon as the airplane doors open, and I embrace that sauna-like humidity, my heart will be racing, unable to contain the excitement. I will finally be home and introducing my new family to its surroundings.

It’s my first opportunity to show the twinlets a little of their heritage. To help them start understanding that it is possible to belong to two broadly different countries. To witness them make significant cultural discoveries in a land so new and foreign, yet strangely familiar.

We leave four years to the day we got engaged.

We will arrive exactly three to the day we got married.

It’s finally time to return home.  Its timing is impeccable.

Joining Jess for IBOT

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  1. says

    Sounds amazing!!
    Holidays are exactly what everyone needs every now and again, but a trip back home is worth ten holidays!
    My son has extensive allergies too, you’ll be fine, take all your precautions and medications with you and you’ll be surprised afterwards just how much ‘you didn’t need to worry’
    Love to hear all about it when you get back!
    Josefa @always Josefa recently posted..Road TripMy Profile

  2. says

    Oh wow Grace, so beautifully written that you make ME want to go to Indonesia!
    My heritage is here, I’m related to the very first settlers in this country. My husband on the other hand, is first generation Australian, his family originates from Italy. So although there is no homesickness for me, I’d love to experience the home towns of my in laws and to give my kids a glimpse into their wonderful culture
    Kelly HTandT recently posted..Be Still My Beating UterusMy Profile

  3. says

    Homesickness has no better cure than a homecoming! Even for just a holiday. How exciting to be able to take your twins for a visit for the first time. They may still be little but you’re planting a seed in their minds that they’re part of something big beyond these shores. I’m sure it will be an enriching experience for all!

  4. says

    What a beautiful post. I am In love with Bali, but obviously I only see it through tourist’s eyes. It must be magnificent for it to be a homecoming. Enjoy your time there xx

  5. says

    Can I come with you? It’s been years since I was over there, and reading this, I would love to go back.
    I’m so excited for you you get to take the twin lets there to see the extended family. What an exciting time for all of you!
    jess recently posted..Greg’s AnatomyMy Profile

  6. says

    What a beautiful post Grace! I totally understand you and just today I was talking about how much I do miss Montreal… I think it’s very important also for your kids to discover from where their mum come from… I’m happy for you! Have a wonderful trip!
    Rita recently posted..The K subjectMy Profile

  7. says

    My husband and I travelled overland from Jakarta to Lombok via Bali, 3 years ago. It was a wonderful experience, what a country. I too am an expat (British), haven’t been back in over 3 years. Australia is our home now, but home country is indeed different thing. I no longer wish to live in the UK but I would so love to go back for a visit and introduce my daughters to my family. I wish you a wonderful trip!
    Pam recently posted..Grateful for…a healthy pregnancyMy Profile

  8. says

    Sounds awesome Grace! I couldn’t imagine living so far away from my home. I live 40 minutes from my Mum and the house I grew up in and I literally hang for our weekly trip home for family night and if it’s not on for some reason I just don’t feel right. So to live so far away from your homeland must be incredibly hard. I hope you have an absolute ball while you are away and it fills up your tank to get you through however long it will be before you go back home again.
    Kylez…aka…Mrs.P recently posted..Toast MonsterMy Profile

  9. says

    So beautiful. My husband is from England and I know that he feels the same way. It’s so hard when you know that you’re partner has to choose between his home and his loves. But it certainly makes it extra special when you get to go back. What a beautiful post. I want to go there now too xxx
    Renay@mummysmiracles recently posted..Keeping Your Cool…My Profile

  10. says

    I have been to Bali a few times and can understand your missing it. I also have a love for this country (my birthplace) and can understand the homesickness when you are away for a long time.
    You have described those feelings very well, the contentment of what you have as well as that longing for things held in your heart. I enjoyed the read. Thank you Grace.
    Becc recently posted..My roller coaster rideMy Profile

  11. says

    Oh my, Grace. I have tears in my eyes. And tingles up my spine. I can’t believe I missed this post. WOW. This is such a HUGE trip for you and your boys. The way you described the scent of sandalwood, the roosters at dawn, the sauna-like heat… I could feel it too. I understand the need for you to go there. This was the loveliest post to read. So beautifully expressed, Grace. Can’t wait to hear all about your trip. xxx
    Deb @ Bright and Precious recently posted..Real Men Wear SkirtsMy Profile


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