Missing Them So…

Motherhood is all sorts of contradictions, isn’t it?

We crave for some freedom and time out. Wishing for just a few moments of solitude. Finally it falls on our lap and immediately we get the guilts.

Or just so desperately yearn to be reunited with our offspring, it feels like tomorrow will never come.

I’m sitting here in the comforts of my hotel room.

A whole weekend (and a bit) ahead of me completely dedicated my selfish self; to catch up with friends old and new; to have some intelligent conversations again; to simply have a bath without someone barging in.

This is my third trip away from the boys (and out of sheer coincidence, it’s always been to Melbourne). So, why the hell doesn’t it get easier?

Or have all other parents surrendered to this unsolvable question ?

Am I just so oblivious that I can’t comprehend that this is what motherhood is about?

The constant push, striving for some time alone but the inevitable pull, the desperate need to return to the nest.

Who knows.

Whatever it is, the twinlets have an awesome carer at their daycare centre.

She makes a habit of sending photos throughout the day to keep me updated of their activities. And this morning, they did yoga.


Namaste, my boys.

I miss you like crazy.

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    • mamagrace71 says

      Will do, Kirri. I think you know how much I need to do this for me. Just got me all loved up when those photos came up on my phone.
      Wish you were here x

    • mamagrace71 says

      Yes! I’m here because I owe it to myself, my identity that goes beyond being a mum. And I know I’m going to be happier (and a happier mum) for it.
      Dang, I just miss them…

  1. says

    I had Monday alone for the first time in several weeks and immediately the guilts swamped me. The fact I work all other days. The fact they probably spend more time at childcare than with me. The fact they are growing so fast. I could go on and on. Yet I know I also need time to replenish. The push. The pull. Stuck in between. I came across the latest post by Good Goog (“Shine a Light”) which expressed this sentiment quite well. I think this experience is a common one. Enjoy the conference and time with friends, at least as much as you can. xo
    Veronica @ Mixed Gems recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – September SnapshotsMy Profile

  2. says

    “The constant push, striving for some time alone but the inevitable pull, the desperate need to return to the nest.” Yes. Yes, that is what motherhood is all about.

  3. says

    What beautiful photos!

    I’ve never been away from my little one for more that a couple of hours (he’s nearly 10 weeks old) but even then I wanted to run back for more hugs. I had to remind myself that he was safe, with people who loved him, and in the end the time spent with other adults made me feel good too.
    Mel @ Adventures of a Subversive Reader recently posted..There goes my cleaning product sponsorship . . .My Profile

  4. says

    I have been trying to come to terms with those feelings but I don’t think ever will do. Some days I crave some time on my own with the munchkin like I crave air to breathe, but then on those rare occasions when I do actually get a bit of time to myself I find that I spend all of that time wondering what she is doing and what things I am missing. I am yet to leave her overnight but the time is fast approaching (she is staying at my MIL’s after the ceremony for my sisters wedding and we are going to the reception and staying in a hotel for the night afterwards by ourselves) and I am both excited and sad about it because I know we will have a fantastic time, but I will also miss her like crazy and look forward to the time when we go pick her up the next day.
    Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions recently posted..Thankful Thursday – Family Nights & Baked PotatoesMy Profile

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