I was reluctant to write this post. There was this stupid fear of jinxing the race this Sunday, or something to that effect.
There are all sorts of jitters and nerves happening right now. Obviously.
I’m playing all sorts of dramatic scenarios in my head, unnecessarily, fatalistic ones.
The ultimate being that my time is going to suck; that for whatever reason, I’m just not going to beat last year’s PB.
Oh. No.
I asked my trainer yesterday, “So, what happens if I don’t beat my PB?”
With her past experience as a competitive gymnast and ice skater, I figured she’s got some mental tricks up her sleeve on how to deal with defeat and disappointment.
And for a harsh self-critic who regularly exaggerates the negatives and beats herself up over them, I could do with some sound advice.
Mental head on collisions with oneself gets tiresome, y’know?
She took a couple of seconds thinking about it, going through her memory filing cabinet of wins and losses.
“Just don’t linger on it, “she finally replied.
“What’s done is done. Move on. Feel good about having done it.”
And right there, folks. We have a running tip and life lesson rolled into one.
Are you a harsh self-critic? What do you do when faced with disappointment or defeat?
1. Follow With Some Grace.
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Amanda @ Cooker and a Looker says
My inner critic is a real meanie Grace. Sometimes I remind myself that there is no way I would speak like that to anyone else, so perhaps I should stop. Sometimes I listen in silence. Good luck for Sunday lovely. Knock em dead! xx
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Lucy @ Bake Play Smile says
Oh I’m a massive self-critic!!! What good advice from your personal trainer though! Best of luck and have fun! You will be wonderful!! xx
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Robo says
You’re going to finish and you’re going to be fabulous! Look at the training you’ve been doing. The fitness just has to be there. I’m similar to you in some respects. My 20 year old child-trainer is right about one thing – negative thoughts will be the end of you. Mind over matter. The inner voice can be such a mole sometimes… Best of luck babe! Think positive. X
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Carolyn @ Champagne Cartel says
“The inner voice can be such a mole sometimes” wins my favourite sentence of the week! Ha!
Carolyn @ Champagne Cartel recently posted..The 40 year health check – keeping the old jalopy running smooth
Kathy says
Good luck for Sunday Grace. You have won by lining up at the starting line I reckon. And you’ve got a lot of km’s to tell that inner voice to shut up.
Deb A - An Inspirational Journey says
All the very best, I can’t wait to hear how you went x
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Lydia C. Lee says
Good luck – you’ll be fine. And it’s the getting to the end that counts, so don’t focus on the PB…
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JM Peace says
Love the T-shirt! Just spot on. Good luck with your race 🙂
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Denise says
I’m the same Grace, my own worst critic. Best of luck with the race. Enjoy it!!! x
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James Gibson says
Good luck with the race I’m sure you wont need it !
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Pinky Poinker says
I fall to pieces with disappointment in myself. I think most of us are the same. Good luck! I’m sure you’ll do fine 🙂
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Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
I just wish I didn’t listen to my inner voice so much, when it comes to criticism.
However you go on Sunday will be awesome, no doubt Grace! Just remember to have a little bit of fun with it xx
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Carolyn @ Champagne Cartel says
I’ve been thinking of you and your run this week, Grace. Keep in mind, no matter what time you run, you’re a mum who goes out and runs half marathons. That’s effing cool!
Life’s a marathon, not a sprint, so go out there, be a runner and be awesome. Keep on doing it over and over again, because that’s what makes you strong and brilliant – the time is a fun (sometimes) novelty that means nothing to anyone but the runner. Your body is strong and amazing for being able to do all the prep you’ve and the run on Sunday.
And no matter what time you run, your kids will still want to know what’s for lunch. 😉 (Love that shirt!)
Carolyn @ Champagne Cartel recently posted..The 40 year health check – keeping the old jalopy running smooth
Bek Mugridge says
We are so our own worst enemies and harshest critics!
Every day for several years now I practice being kind to myself to counter years of negative self talk, especially from my teenage years.
One little exercise I do is to smile at my reflection in the mirror. A genuine smile and think about great things I have done in my life. It is amazing how silly you can feel at first, then you get better at it. You stop your eyes being drawn to your faults and you see the difference a smile and a little self love makes. It is only a small step but it starts a chain reaction of being proud of yourself, caring about yourself, and you Grace should be literally beaming at that reflection with pride and happiness for yourself, for your accomplishments past and those yet to be and for the wonderful example you are setting as a healthy, active mum as well!
Shine on Grace and good luck!
PS so LOVE that tshirt!
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Malinda @mybrownpaperpackages says
You are a winner by simply being at the starting line and giving it a go! You are rarely ever defeated, you just need to look at it another way.
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Desire Empire says
Best of luck for the race on Sunday.
Carolyn
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Mumabulous says
I have trouble running for the bus so whatever time you do on the weekend you’ll be a legend to me :-).
There you go – “Mumabs thinks I’m a total freakin’ legend” – What a great mantra for you 🙂
All the best for the race – I hope you exceed your goals but most importantly HAVE FUN.
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Lauren @ Create bake make says
I think you are a champion just for running (and finishing) a half marathon. We are so hard on ourselves, and the things we tell ourselves we would NEVER say to anyone else in real life. Good Luck for Sunday, you will be amazing xx
PS. I LOVE the twinions t-shirt! How cool!
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Bec @ Seeing the Lighter Side of Parenting says
Having never run a marathon (and I’m never likely to!) I think you’re incredibly brave and wonderful for even attempting it. Ignore the clocks and just run! Or is that not possible/normal? Sorry, I wouldn’t know, I’m not the running type:-)
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Ai Sakura says
All the best for the race!! Oh yes, I remember those cute T-shirts Mr Surfer made for the family 🙂
You’re trainer is right. Coming from a competitive sports background myself, and from a really competitive school environment, you really just have to focus on the positive, and move on from the negative. Even if you don’t make your PB THIS time, so what? It’s not your final race, it’s not the end of the world, it’s just another chance for you to get better.
Just concentrate on doing your part.. Good luck!
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Ai Sakura says
*your trainer 😛
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SarahD @SnippetsandSpirits says
It is a fault the majority of women have we are too hard on ourselves it can consume our life at times. It is so true though. Just completing the race is a fantastic achievement. Best of Luck Grace!!
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Kate says
Timely advice. Needed to hear that this morning – for my running and my writing. Thanks, Grace x
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Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
Gosh that has come up fast?? Just keep on putting one foot in front of the other, that is what I do everyday, and today, when I just wanted to fall in a heap and cry and do nothing, I have to stand up, and remind myself to just keep on going, I can make it through the day -and so will you. Dig deep and if you need your tank is near empty, remember that I’m there with you in spirit, cheering you along! I’m going to say good luck because you don’t need it – (you’ll need a wine at the finish line though) Hugs sweet xx
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Mandy, Barbie Bieber and Beyond says
Good luck!!! You won’t need it, thanks for hosting a great link up each week!!
Mandy
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Kirsten Smith says
Best of luck for Sunday! Not that you’ll need it x
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Lara @ This Charming Mum says
Oh Grace, I’m sure you’ll smash it! But you’re trainer’s advice seems sound. But apart from all that, just look at that photo! You are SO already a champion 🙂
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Min@MinsMash says
Yes – I am my worst critic – all the time! BUT wow Grace – for you to be doing this is something to be very proud of regardless of whether you beat your PB or not. Goodonya – I know you’ll do great! 🙂 x
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Twitchy Sharon (@twitchycorner) says
Harshest critic? Absolutely. I have ideas busting out of my brain at all times and no ability to harness them all or convert them. I need another me to do all that stuff while I deal with non-stop domestic disaster. No hang on I meant that THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
Twitchy Sharon (@twitchycorner) recently posted..Sparkly Mother’s Day Weekend
Toni @ Finding Myself Young says
I’m the worst self critic! I beat myself up over even the littlest of things all the time.
Good luck for Sunday!
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Sarah from Creating Contentment says
Isn’t that a brilliant simple lesson. Don’t linger on it. xS
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Annaleis says
I just love that sentiment – and its true, you are out there doing it, lots aren’t.
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Eva @ The Multitasking Mummy says
I think it’s fabulous you can run a half marathon for starters! I’m always hard on myself and if I’m faced with defeat, I just tell myself ‘what’s done is done and it’s time to move on, nothing I can do about it now.’
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Francesca says
Oh yes, I am a harsh critic. And when I don’t meet my high standards, I sook like a toddler!
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Julie @ Off to the park says
Good luck with the race on Sunday Grace! I’m sure you’ll stomp all over your PB 🙂
I am my own worse critic. At times I can be pretty harsh. Just this morning I was laying in bed thinking “You are 41, and there’s nothing you are particularly good at anything.” I had to remind myself that I’m a pretty good Mum though 🙂
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Veronica Lee says
Good luck for Sunday Grace! I am sure you will be awesome! And yes, I’m a harsh self-critic and a sore loser too!
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Emily says
Chookas for Sunday! I’m yet to meet anyone who isn’t harsher on themselves than on anyone else. I like what Amanda wrote – I’d never be that mean to anyone else, so time to be nicer to myself!
Still love that pic. I remember you posting it last year. GORGEOUS. x
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Kaz @ Melting Moments says
All the best for Sunday. I think you’re amazing just for starting.
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Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
You go girl!
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Nami says
Peanut Butter?
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Kylie Purtell says
Very good advice that!
Good luck with the run tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll smash it! xxx
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Rebecca says
Great T-shirt! and Great job on the 1/2 – I can’t even run 10 km. You’re amazing!
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Lisa Wood says
I guess that I think that running {no matter what happens for getting to the finish line} is winning!! And having a go is what is better than not trying.
Running is not my thing, but I love working out at the gym, especially love Yoga. Each time I sweat more, get deeper in my stretches and more flexible I feel like I did better than last time. What is amazing is that you are competing, and that t-shirt on your son says it all 🙂
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