Marriage Archives - With Some Grace

***This is a sponsored post. As always, all opinions are my own and all wedding memories,including the flower girl toddler tantrums are genuine***

Barely getting any sleep the night before, the morning had finally arrived. I rolled over in the hotel bed to have a longing glance at Boyfriend Surfer.

Today was the day and I was full of beans.

Today was the day: I was getting married!

The morning of my wedding wasn’t what you would call the most conventional.

5 months pregnant, I woke up bright and early and trotted to my 6am personal training session.

Yes. I was exercising.

Then afterwards, I called up my friend who had come over from New York for the wedding.

“Mikey! Mikey! Wake up! Wake up! We’re going for a swim!! Let’s go!!!”

My energy levels were out of this world.

“Whaaaa? Grace, you do realize what today is? Do you have time for a swim?” he replied drowsily.

I could tell he was thrilled I had woken him up.

“Yeah, yeah! Plenty of time! But we gotta meet up NOW!” I excitedly screamed down the phone.

It took a little convincing but eventually he agreed to meet me at one of Sydney city’s most breathtaking outdoor swimming pools.

Even if Mike had chosen a sleep in over a swim, I would’ve gone by myself, anyway.

After all, I was getting married!

After a few laps, we decided to have a hearty breakfast together at the pool café.

When taking my order, I cheekily asked the waitress if she had a “Bridal Special”.

Mike almost died of embarrassment in his chair but luckily, the waitress was a good sport.

“No bridal specials,” she replied. “But I can make a special omelette ”

I’ll take it! I didn’t care!

I was getting married!

For the rest of the morning, I took it easy. Walking around the hotel room in my Japanese kimono dressing gown, my spirits soared sky high as I passed the time singing and dancing to Michael Jackson on my iPod.

Then, the preparations began.

The hairdresser was late.

My wedding bouquet arrived but wasn’t quite how I had pictured it to be.

My make up artist got lost on her way over. It also didn’t help that her Miss-Know-It-All attitude was annoying my maid of honour (as well as myself).

One of my little flower girls had a toddler meltdown and was sent to the naughty corner for an hour, ruining her perfectly made up hair.

But none of it mattered.

I didn’t care.

Because.

I was getting married.

Beyond the stuff that’s planned, it’s the spontaneous, candid moments that help make the memories of a wedding.

Bride.com.au is a resource website that lists suppliers and ideas set to inspire and encourage brides to be to get away from the stock standard of a wedding; to add those personal touches; to truly make the day uniquely their own.

Mr Surfer and I are coming up to our 5^th anniversary in a month’s time. He was telling me the other day how quickly the time’s flown.

Yup. It sure speeds by, which is why I’m even more grateful that our wedding day had so many fantastic moments that we can completely claim as our own.

That’s the stuff that takes you through a lifetime of marriage together.

What’s your most special yet spontaneous wedding day memory?

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It was never intended to be an act of feminism.

Maybe it was the fact that only 4 months after getting married we delved right into the overwhelming world of being first time parents of twins, leaving no time to deal with the laborious bureaucratic paperwork involved.

I just never had the urge or felt it necessary to take on my husband’s surname.

Not even when my MIL randomly asked me 6 months after our wedding (in the middle of Masterchef during commercial break, no less), what I was going to do about changing my maiden name.

(“Er, nothing…”)

Even knowing my stance on this, she still insists on sending us letters and cards addressed as “Mr and Mrs (Insert Husband’s Full First and Last Name)”.

It’s as irritating as ants crawling under my skin, but hey, I ain’t gonna change my mind.

Prior to being married, it never occurred to me that I would feel this strongly.

Actually, I was one of those girls busting to find a nice guy, with minimal baggage (at best) and a simple, common surname.

Depending on one’s interpretation, my unique maiden name could either be referred to certain female body parts or hold close sounding resemblance to a great big lake in the Andes of South America. (Take your pick).

All my life, my father’s surname has either given me grief in the school playground or quizzical looks from Motor Registry clerks or bank tellers.

Who wouldn’t want to change my name?

Then, finally the opportunity arose itself.

And for some reason, the thought of making all those fiddly adjustments; the fact that I would lose the last remains of my Indonesian identity; and all those years of effort in defending my differences and background; instincts told me not to bother.

It doesn’t mean I love my husband any less. Nor has it jeopardized the connection with my boys who indeed carry their father’s surname (Now, there’s one consolation for my MIL).

It’s not even about protecting my career and the professional reputation I built during those pre-marital days.

It’s about choice. It’s about what makes me most comfortable.

It’s about equality and mutual respect.

And correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t they the aspects of marriage, anyway?

My MIL hasn’t brought up the issue since. Maybe it was because the conversation was quickly shut down by Mr Surfer saying it was no one’s business what I decided to do.

Obviously, Mr Surfer himself doesn’t care what I do.

Hell, I could change my name to Princess Panda Poo Poo and he wouldn’t blink an eye.

As long as we’re happy and we continue our commitment to nurture and strengthen our family bond, what else matters?

Did you keep your maiden name or take your husband’s after getting married? What were your reasons? Do you think Princess Panda Poo Poo would suit me?

Joining Essentially Jess for some essential IBOT

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Weddings and the spontaneous stuff

Married with a maiden name