With Some Grace

Everyday Experiences, Lifelong Learnings

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Price Tag

September 16, 2014 By: mamagrace7112 Comments

I remember the first time someone asked me about the remuneration that came with being a blogger.

My friend was holding a 3rd birthday party for her daughter and while we get along extremely well, it’s not one of those friendships where I have met, or even know any of her other friends or family members.

So, when breaking the ice in first meeting the parents, the default conversation naturally turned to occupation and professions.

PRICETAG

It’s a pity we’re so socially stagnant these days that a self introduction inevitably ends up justifying our existence with “what we do for a living” rather than “what we live for” or even simply talk about “what we love”

Anyway, explaining to another mum that I was a blogger, immediately piqued her curiosity.

“Apologies if this is a personal question…(If you’re really sorry about it, why the hell are you continuing to ask me?)…but do you make a lot of money out of blogging?”

Ho hum.

Talk about spectacular fall from social graces.

She sensed my uncomfortable stance but having already begun digging that hole, why not get the big shovel out as well?

“I mean, you see it on TV about all these mummy bloggers being millionaires and just wondered if that was true…”

I really could’ve had fun with this one, making up all sorts of glamorous stories how I have lucrative brand ambassadorship deals while a gazillion loyal readers follow my every breath and smart, witty comments.

Alas, I’m just too bloody honest.

“Nah. I make next to nothing, “ I shrugged.

Then, as I went on to my usual spiel about how much I just love writing and connecting with lovely people, the sparkle in her eye disappeared, along with her interest.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

It’s intriguing how people are so keen to find out how to make “big bucks” from something as “fluffy” as blogging.  It’s not valid unless it has a price tag.

Over this past year, more sponsored and brand endorsed posts have appeared on this blog. It’s important to point out however, that none of this has been done without careful planning or being consciously aware of what would be considered “too much”

The thing is, working with brands brings opportunities beyond what’s monetary; it’s a chance to sharpen business skills while still working towards what you love.

As far as expanding writing skills and a freelance portfolio, sponsored posts can also provide that.

But at the end of the day, the biggest focus here is on you guys, all the lovely readers.

The support, comments and participation – none of thatever goes unnoticed.

10626461_698528386882763_5503277847151201634_nTwo and a half years later and there’s still that Friday morning thrill in seeing who’s linked up for FYBF. Everyone’s coming over for (virtual) morning tea at my place and none of you seem to care about the mess! Awesome!

So, thank you for helping me create this sense of warmth and cosiness over at yea ol’ blog. This place would be barren and worthless without you.

 

Joining Essentially Jess for IBOT

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Finding solace

December 29, 2013 By: mamagrace7148 Comments

Was it really only yesterday when the shittiest day of my living history occurred?

The fatal phone call from my mother early in the morning as I stepped out of the gym, hearing the tragic, unbelievable news.  Screaming out on the street and falling in a heap on the curb, where I could no longer bear to hear her sobs for mine had taken over.

How I somehow, despite the shock, managed to drive back home, the whole time with a friend on hands free – being my rational conscience and guide – calmly telling me that just as it was okay to let the other motorists take over, so I needed to do the same with my grief.

Hugging my husband so tight because the pain in my chest was too much to bear on my own. Repeatedly asking him to tell me that none of this mad nightmare was true.  The fact he couldn’t reply with what I wanted to hear, made me slowly come to realize that this wasn’t a cruel, terrible joke.

This was reality.

A beloved family member – someone who was the closest thing I ever had to a sister –  is gone.  Just like that – in one swift, merciless swoop.

Finding Solace 2

The endless circle of questioning this pain and injustice; why bad, terrible things happen to such kind, caring, benevolent people.

It doesn’t make sense.  It challenges my faith.

I’m furious at this screwed up world.  I’m terrified that in this same place of endless tragedies and unpredictable danger, I’m trying to raise my own children with self-confidence and independence.

Yet, it’s in my faith where I find my strength.

I see the unconditional love; subtle yet significant ease and comfort that comes with sharing a heavy, laden burden of sadness among family and close-knit community; the unshakeable faith that their God will stay close by, carrying the suffering through to an eventual sense of inner peace and the hope that we will all meet again one day.

Finding Solace 3

Within a couple of hours of hearing the tragedy, relatives  from all corners of the globe made immediate plans to support a grief stricken family.  There, right there: concrete evidence of human kindness and the power of unwavering loyalty.

While frantically figuring out the logistics and ticket reservations over constant phone calls and Facebook messages, we can all cry together, reminding each other’s integral part of this vast family circle.

I need to try and be thankful for blessings, even if they are unforeseeable right now.

And I guess that’s what faith is.  Trusting that somehow, everything will be okay.

Never the same again.  But okay.

As a wise friend told me, death ends a loved one’s life but it can’t stop the loving relationship we have with them.

And there, we find solace.

Finding Solace 1

Selamat jalan, my beloved Kak Rytha.

May you rest in peace and tranquility.

Until we meet again.

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The Piano Man

April 8, 2013 By: mamagrace7147 Comments

Back in the day when spontaneity was the forefront of my single, child-free life, I would fly to Hawaii at a whim and last minute dinners at swanky, white table cloth restaurants were all part of filling the void of having little else outside work life.

Then, without realization, the vacuum of dissatisfaction reached its peak.

One quiet, brisk winter’s Sunday morning, my surfer boyfriend and I decided to take a drive to the north of the city.  He wanted to check out some surfboards at a special shop of his and I suggested he drop me off at a piano store on the way.

I had been contemplating on buying my own upright piano for a while. But unlike most high cost, long term purchases, I hadn’t done any thorough research for this one.

I walked into the shop of dozens of pianos –grand, upright and electronic – with no commitment.  Just to have a browse.

The only sales assistant I could spot was a middle aged man with a strong European accent.  The Piano Man.

Extremely frank and blunt in his sales technic (“That one’s cheap but so is its sound…”) he was at least honest.  He loved his pianos and you could tell.

The Piano Man

He spoke with conviction but was pragmatic.  I knew he wasn’t trying to “sell”.

He showed me one in particular and I fell in love. Right there I bought my biggest, most spontaneous purchase.

Later I discovered that his real profession was in their tuning and maintenance.  Then I knew, I wasn’t going to be jipped off by a sales person driven only by commission and dollar signs but was to be guided by a technical expert who exactly knew real quality.

5 years on, Fred* sends me a text around the same time every year reminding me that it’s time for him to drop by and tune my little baby.

He arrives with his tool box, ready to get to work.  Despite seeing Fred so rarely, I’ve memorized how he takes his coffee (1 sugar with just the slightest dash of milk).  The moment I greet him, I make him one.

As he turns the strings and cranks the keys to get the tone just right, we chat about life – the little things and the big.

Work has slowed down lately, he tells me. More and more people are going electronic.  There’s less demand for the traditional wooden piano, which in turn, means there’s less instruments for him to visit and take care of.

There are homes he’s visited for decades.  As time and life progresses, the pianos keep their stellar condition but their owners are racked with old age.

He mentions that his own health is not so good but he gets by and his work keeps him busy.

It takes him just a little over an hour to finish his task.  Even when I ask him how much I owe him, he’s bashful to take my money – as though he can’t possibly be paid for doing something he already loves.

And as we’re about to say our goodbyes for another year, he gives me a small grin and says with pride:

“You know, even if I won the lotto and had a million dollars, this is something I would still be doing.”

And I believe him.

How wonderful to not only find your passion but to be so content with the happiness it offers; that no amount of monetary value can compare.

To have what seems to be a simple trade to others but is so important to you and to those who value your skills.

When extravagance means absolutely nothing if you can’t continue doing the one thing that you were born to do.

If you won a million dollars, what would you keep doing?

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Despite accidentally hitting “Publish” on the Monday arvo, this post is exclusively for Jess’ fabulous IBOT.

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A Moment To Pause

May 22, 2011 By: mamagrace711 Comment

Thursday mornings I somehow manage to scramble out of the house to make it for a exercise training session with other mothers.  I’ve mentioned them in a previous post – tough as nails, super-fit ladies.

Last week, arriving early at the gym, I was doing some stretches as I waited for the other mums.

Located on the second floor, I happened to look out the window and noticed that there was a car in the midst of a reverse park, blocking the traffic behind it.  There were three women were on the street and I recognised two of them were mums of our training group.

After ten minutes of what seemed to be heated discussion, mobile phone calling and photo taking, the two ladies finally made it to the gym.  Both arrived looking somber – one with red eyes from crying and still sobbing from the trauma and commotion.

As the group remained silent and sympathetic, our personal trainer asked her if she was okay, if the car was damaged.

Still sobbing she replied, “I don’t care about the car.  It’s just the animosity of people these days.  Just how aggressive and rude people can be.”

Despite having apologized, the lady she hit behind her confronted the situation with profanities and abuse.  Even her little daughter sitting in the front seat, witnessing her mother’s irrational behaviour didn’t stop her.

Car accidents – no matter how minor – always cause stress and anxiety.

The dramatic sound of metal hitting metal or tyres screeching causing the distinct smell of burnt rubber.

Then, the inevitable face-to-face encounter with the other driver.  Whether you’re at fault or they are, you never know what kind of personality you’re going to have to deal with.

As our friend dried her eyes to start training, she shrugged her shoulders, “It’s just this area.  Everyone here is in such a hurry to get somewhere.  So much aggression.”

I didn’t say anything, but I disagree.

It seems to be human nature to make sure we get ahead.  Maybe it’s a survival instinct.

What is unfortunate is the lack of thought.  The time to sit back and see how our actions might effect others.

This incident and others over the past week made me think of a poem I discovered in my early 20’s.

It maybe s a little too new-ageish or “out there with the stars” for some people.  Personally, it helps me switch on the pause button in my – often unnecessarily – preoccupied life.

It doesn’t specifically talk about religion or tells us what we “should, could, would” do in our lives.

It talks about peace and finding perspective.

Allow me to share it with you.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, 
be on good terms with all persons. 
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; 
and listen to others, 
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story. 
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit. 

If you compare yourself with others, 
you may become vain or bitter, 
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. 
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; 
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, 
for the world is full of trickery. 
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, 
and everywhere life is full of heroism. 
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love, 
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass. 

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, 
be gentle with yourself. 
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. 
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, 
whatever you conceive Him to be. 
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life, 
keep peace in your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. 
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

— by Max Ehrmann

Musings of Mama Grace © 2011

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Putting Things In Perspective

December 12, 2010 By: mamagrace712 Comments

The place looks like a bomb hit it. Piles and piles of laundry – both dirty and clean – stacking like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  Babies crying and taking a LOT longer to settle. It’s a marathon of running back and forth into their nursery to comfort them from the tears and trying to get them to sleep.  This is life as we know it.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I remember my previous life where, despite there being order, predictability and freedom; There was a pang of dissatisfaction as there was still so much love to give.  The feelings of desperation of wanting a family and not knowing if it was in our future.  The hurt of watching time go by and thinking that maybe I had missed my boat.

During this season of love, this time of giving and reflecting on the events of the past year, I think of my many blessings.

And there are two in particular…

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About Me…

Indonesian-born, Grace spent extensive time living and working overseas, primarily in Japan. She now resides in Sydney where she is mum to identical twin boys and wife to an avid surfer. While she has happily replaced office life with motherhood, Grace has discovered that a 10 year career in corporate sales and being fluent in 3 languages is futile when dealing with toddler tantrums and singing “The Wheels On The Bus”

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