I’ve been thinking about friendships a lot lately. One in particular that has sadly reached its demise.

A collaborated past built through childhood, school, mutual friends and family. Adolescence, weddings, babies; the life changing experiences surmising a friendship’s longevity.

But if it’s no longer working (and hasn’t been for a while), why should the test of time be the only resounding reason to stick around?

Not that it should account for nothing but why should it account for everything?

Especially when that’s all that’s left, a history, when the sole standing excuse is: “But we’ve been through so much together”.

Long before marriage and in the midst of epic failing relationships, I wrote a list for what defined a life-long partner.

Even if unsure of the qualities of my ideal person , I was absolutely certain about the ones I didn’t want.

Same with friendships.

There can only be positives in perceiving what the unwanted negatives are.

As I refuse to doubt what I am capable of offering to a friend, I’m no longer willing to settle for anything less.

Effort shouldn’t be tiring

All friendships – new and old – require effort. What’s a genuine friendship without stepping into our own inconveniences to suit the needs of another.

But every friendship is an investment. Whether we expect it or not, at some point, we need to be able to dip into the savings of its bank account.

If we need to ask or wonder when there’s going to be a return, then it’s time to close the account.

Mutual respect…is it overrated?

Maybe I’m a bit of an old fashioned fool with twinges of immature high school tendencies but if I introduce someone as my best friend, I would expect that title to be honoured and well, you know, reciprocated.

Am I being over dramatic? Placing too much importance into something insignificant? I thoroughly thought this through.

And perhaps “reading too much into things” is detrimental. But certain standards and expectations in mutual respect and value shouldn’t be.

Does it still serve a purpose?

Friendships can be paths that cross when we need them most then turn at completely opposite directions. And that’s okay. At a point where there is no longer mutual benefit, why stay on the same road?

This isn’t to say that the situation is at a stalemate. Just as paths separate, sometimes they cross again.

Friendships simply reflect the fluidity of life. The past holds the memories and the lessons that get us to where we are today, to help us where we need to get to in the future.

Nothing stays the same. If it does, we’re not evolving.

And as the infamous saying goes, except death and taxes, nothing is permanent. Not even a friendship.

Joining Essentially Jess for IBOT