Imagine having to constantly look in the mirror.
The catch however, is that the reflection isn’t you. It’s not even an extension of you; an uncanny version maybe, but actually someone else.
In the infamous words of shrewd Balinese street vendors and their powers of persuasion, you and this other form of existence are “Same, same but different”
What makes you different? How do you find out?
There is a happy co-existence, after all. You are the yin to his yang. He is the pepper to your salt.
But every so often, there is a restlessness to pull away.
You can’t explain it; only acting on the frustration that you are yet to be heard individually, to be known exclusively.
From his conception, Nunu has always had to fight – for size, space, nutrients, then ultimately when he was born – for survival.
As parents, we were always just that little bit more conscious of his fragile state post birth.
Force of habit saw us pay more attention to his quiet nature, the insistence to always be by his brother’s side.
We also began to wonder when was it going to be his time to shine; to break through to the other side of twin autonomy; to build his independence.
It wasn’t too long ago we consciously began to spend one on one time with the twinions.
With each brief outing, a little more of his confidence would crack through to the surface with a progressive willingness to talk, to engage.
Slowly we discovered that he just needed space and undivided attention.
Attending day care on his own one day while his brother stayed home sick, Nunu came home with the biggest, most triumphant smile.
“Guess who got the superstar award today?” my husband reported.
“The teacher said he deserved it because he was so, so good today. He helped the other kids. Made sure they all stood up in line properly. Tried to answer all the questions…”
Mr Surfer deliberately spoke a little louder ensuring our little one could hear how very proud we were.
In the words of his teacher, since that day, Nunu started to shine in his own accord.
While his brother is still very much his constant.
He’s begun his own Superstar Journey.
Beyond counting, memorising the alphabet or being able to write his name, this strong sense of self, the freedom to be himself – with no hindering mirror – is what’s going to send him to school next year with confidence.
I just feel it.
I burst with pride in the knowledge.
Joining Essentially Jess for #IBOT