When we first confirmed our holiday plans a few weeks ago, Mr Surfer told me that these days, robbers and house burglers read blogs as a means to find the next place to strike.
Well dudes, you’ll only find a half functional Thomas train set, a mountain pile of dirty nappies and pee-stained carpet over here. Go for your life.
In preparation for our first overseas trip comes the painstaking process of getting passports done.
The bureacreacy, the paper shuffling – all of it can drive any details adverse person nuts.
The greatest dilemma of all of course, were the actual photos.
Particularly for toddlers, the Australian Passport Office requirements are so unrealistic, they are laughable. Well, unless you’re the unlucky parent trying to fulfil them. No one’s finding it funny then.
No smiling is allowed. Keep mouth shout, infact. White background only. Nothing lower than the shoulders. Not too much space above the head.
Off we trotted to the photographer’s, oblivious to how much commotion it was going to cause.
At first, the twinlets were excited about being in a new little shop, full of interesting machinery and pictures.
Then, a big tall scary man with huge lobe earrings and a big black device wrapped around his neck came walking towards them.
No wonder they were petrified.
And there was no way in hell they were keeping still in front of a white background.
How confusing it must’ve been for them when after all these years of teaching them the association between a camera and a sweet smile, we suddenly commanded, “Don’t smile! No! No, keep still! Like this!!!”
Of course, trying to get them to pose like tin soliders was futile. What were we thinking?
I can count the number of times my husband has lost his cool. This failed photo shoot took up all the fingers on my right hand.
Infact, always the even keel Mr Surfer dropped the F-bomb. And for him to do that infront of a complete stranger carrying the camera added extra weight to the entire dire situation.
We decided to break the tension and walked out sans passport photos, completely defeated.
Thinking that perhaps the twinlets just needed some sustanance (and we needed to get our own shizz together), we went for a walk up the block. Plonking ourselves on the footpath, we fed the little stubborn munchkins some vegemite sambos.
Half an hour later, stomachs were full and moods were a little brighter, we headed back into the photo shop.
But nope. Another epic fail.
Screams, tears, scary photographers with massive ears.
Just wasn’t happening.
Mr Surfer dropped another F-Bomb.
Yikes!
Later that afternoon, as my camera adverse twinlets took their nap, I decided to go to my oracle Facebook for answers and asked if anyone knew the secret to perfect toddler passport photography.
Among the success (and not so successful) stories provided by Toddlers on Tour, Silly Mummy and iSophie, there was Rachel from The Kids Are All Right those who suggested that we “Find a friendly and patient Officeworks who will take the photos.” On the other hand, Renee´from Nee´Say had a quick and easy solution with “Phenergen and a white sheet.”
Then along came my friend, Jen who came up with the ingenious idea to do it the “baby way” – spread out a white sheet, lie the wriggly rug rats on the floor and take the photo from above.
And yes! It was a success…even if their hair did look like it was defying gravity.
Or we nearly blinded them with the flash…
Nevertheless folks, that’s how a passport photo of your tornado toddler is taken with the guarantee that all government documents and papers will be approved. I think…
Let’s just go on that bloody holiday already!
Joining in with the fabulous Jess for IBOT
Mel @ Adventures of a Subversive Reader says
Yikes! I must remember the sheet trick for the future. It was much easier in the past when you could smile – even I find it difficult to not smile in front of the camera
Mel @ Adventures of a Subversive Reader recently posted..A Subversive Reader Guide to Ikea
Lydia C. Lee says
True story – we took our wee girl at 6 weeks to get her passport shot done. I had to hid underneath her, holding up her head and the guy said “she can’t smile” and “tell her to keep her mouth shut”. Seriously.
We were there for forty minutes before we got the shot. By the time we took the trip she looked different and at 3, it’s laughable when they check the passport. Good thing she wasn’t smiling! They’d never recognise her!
Lydia C. Lee recently posted..Twas the fright before Christmas
Catherine Rodie Blagg @CoTaaB says
I have to admit I had a bit of a giggle reading this. We got G’s passport when she was just a baby so it was fairly easy. I’ll be laughing on the other side of my face when I have to get C’s passport sorted though!
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Rachel from Redcliffe Style says
I struggled with my girls passport photos too. Why do they make it so hard. In fact the passport office even sent them back, We had to photoshop a bit of tooth out. Rachel xx
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Jodi says
We are planning on going overseas in March, I am dreading getting the kids’ passport photos! Neither of my kids like to stay still long enough to even have Nappies changed!! 🙁
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Ai Sakura says
We usually take passport photos at home nowadays too. Do you know there’s an app for that? Haven’t tried but I saw it before. Give s the correct dimensions and all.
Anyway I’m *cough* one of those that worry about people coming to rob the house if they know we aren’t around too. That’s why I don’t usually blog and say we are going on trips, until after we actually come back from it ahahahahaha
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Shari says
Oh what an ‘adventure’ even before your big adventure. Domestic travel only for us for a while then 😉
x
Shari recently posted..Christmas gift ideas for the teacher … not an apple or coffee mug in sight!
Yvette @ Little Bento Blog says
what a great idea about lying them down!! Definitely easier than getting them to stand still when they are in a strange place!!! Good work!!!
My passport expired a few months ago… I need to get 3! NZ, Australia and British!!! haha thats going to cost me a lil bit.. especially since the lil squirts get 3 too!! Joys of living all over the world 🙂
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Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions says
Oh my gosh, what an epic ordeal! I think I’ll wait until Mia can sit still for a passport photo before we venture overseas after reading this!
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Eleise (A very Blended Family) says
I love it! When I tried to take passport photos for my daughter at 9months – it took three days to get it right! Finally we captured the perfect photo except she was wearing a black and white stripped top and now looks like a convict in her passport!
Eleise (A very Blended Family) recently posted..Booking a blended family holiday
Aroha @ Colours of Sunset says
I can laugh, because I went through it with an 8 month old!! And his passport will probably run out before our trip to the US next year. Hopefully in another 6 months he’ll be old enough to understand what I’m asking him to do OMG what a nightmare! But how exciting you went through all that so you can go HOME!
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Lyndal says
i did have a bit of a giggle reading this – sorry!!! x
Lyndal recently posted..the one where i learn its okay to explore
Tahlia @ the parenting files says
Whoever came up with the passport photo standards does not have children! I can only imagine the nightmare for everyone involved… just for a photo… seriously…. the kids change in a year anyway….
x
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Emily says
Haha. I mean, awww, you poor thing! Glad you found the solution in the end. Hair schmair. I had three attempts with my own passport photos before they were finally accepted – do whatever works!
Emily recently posted..There are lots of pregnancy theme songs
jess says
Oh it’s crazy! I remember trying to do it years ago, and it was beyond a joke. Someone should make the rule makers take the photos!
Loving the shot you got in the end.
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Krystle says
Haha I know the pain you’re talking about. The things we went through trying to get a passport and flight organised with a newborn were incredibly. Last minute dashes across London, projectile vomit while trying to get the photo taken (1st attempt), sleepy eyes and refusal to stop wriggling the second attempt.
Hope the holiday is worth the drama 🙂
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Rhianna says
That is an awesome idea! Well done clever clogs
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Sim says
I can’t forsee any overseas travel in our near future, but will definitely file away that trick for the day we need it. Great idea!
Sim recently posted..Attempting to beat the homework blues
Rita says
So funny! What a good trick! Something to remember. But I can imagine your stress and the one of your hubby!
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Bachelormum says
OMG you have the patience of the saint and children with faces of angels. You will well and truly need this holiday. Bring it on! PS Hope you’ll be posting to us live from Bali. xx
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Becc says
I love phenergan and a white sheet! Gave me quite a chuckle 🙂
Becc recently posted..Christmas….got it sorted!
Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right says
Oh Grace, that’s so funny. But an ingenious solution! Save the phenergan for the plane 🙂
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Kim Frost says
This is hilarious! (For me obviously … not so much for you). I remember the hell we went through trying to get some done. Back and forth to the post office getting the ‘not good enough’ cranky face countless times. I nearly did a stampy-footed ‘well YOU do it then’ but realised I’d still have a better chance behind the camera. Looking forward to the Bali pics! xx
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Isophie says
Thats a great idea!
So glad you got them done finally!
Isophie recently posted.."Everyone’s a winner!" – Oh, except you!
Seana Smith says
Painful, painful… now I realise we were so wise to get them done as babies, and then when five. But it’s a big, fat hassle the whole thing, and expensive. But worth it!
Seana Smith recently posted..Actually, I Don’t Like Being In Hospital As Much As I Thought I Did
Salz says
Lol those are so funny. I haven’t gone through the task of getting passport photos yet with any of my kids but when I do I hope they change the rules a little.
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Kirsty @ My Home Truths says
Great idea – I hope the photos do pass the passport office test. And a big yay for the holiday!
Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted..How NOT to Hold a Kid’s Party
Mumabulous says
Oh dear God. This is painful reading Grace. The no smiling in passport photos rule must be overturned ASAP. Are you listening Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott?
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Amanda - Purely4kids says
Oh no, I’ve got all this to look forward to. We aren’t going for a few months but I think I better start organising the passports now – yikes.
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Questing Jess says
I haven’t had to go through this particular form of torture myself, but it would be nigh on impossible for me to get my eldest to cooperate. Three years old and already “no, don’t take pictures of me” – most of the pictures of her from the last few months include her palm out in front of her face lol 🙂
Questing Jess recently posted..Nautical
Née says
You can’t tell me the phenergan wouldn’t have crossed your mind too 😉
Née recently posted..Tick Tock: Is that my biological clock?
Kevin says
We’ve noticed a huge drop off in photo’s of miss 2.5 because everytime we say cheese, she’s running over to us to use the camera herself. I can’t imagine getting her to sit still for a passport photo at all.
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Bridget says
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but kids suck. They do. Especially when you need something from them! My big ones are 16 and still act like asshats when I need a good photo.
Ugh.
Have fun on your trip!
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Nami says
I remember a passport photo shop in Rock Center who handled a woman’s complaint like this, “It’s a passport photo – you’re SUPPOSED to look retarded!” As for the F-bombs, Mr. Surfer handled it well in my opinion, I’d have choked my guys during round two.
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daddownunder says
Love it Grace – nothing like an f-bombing other half to turn up the intensity of a situation. We tried to flied MAx home to NEgland at 6months and were informed at the airport that he could leave but not come back in as he didn’t have an Ozzie Visa, poor lad was an ilegal immigrant for the first 6 months of his life : )
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Julia Kuku Couture says
argh! I hadn’t even thought about that poor you! I did Maksi’s when he was around 14 months and it was so easy I couldn’t imagine how I would do it now. Lucky it’s valid for 5 years hopefully he will be less wriggly for the next one.
I have to arrange Leo’s soon as we are going OS early next year so looks like we will escape the toddler passport photo debacle for a while but what a fantastic idea I will be filing it away for any future blessings we may have.
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workingwomenuas says
We also struggled getting Mr2 (at the time) to keep his mouth closed and not smile. It is a tough ask for little people!
Pink Ronnie says
Hilarious, Grace! I will definitely remember this one for the future… 🙂
Ronnie xo
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Veronica @ Mixed Gems says
You know, that’s exactly how we ended up taking photos of our 3 month old before our overseas trip 3+ years ago!
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Kaz @ Melting Moments says
The photos made me giggle. What an experience. We had passport photos done in a booth which thankfully worked okay at the time but Dora was younger. Never a dull moment, huh? 🙂
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Lauren says
I have done both kids when they were under 10 days old. Wish I had taken photos of the photographer balanced over the cot trying to get the shot. Thirteen takes. He was swearing like your Surfer 🙂
Stephanie says
so stressful trying to get photos of little kids. Glad to hear it all ended well in the end
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Becky from BeckyandJames.com says
I can’t even imagine trying to get passport pics of my kids. Or even my hubs, every time he has his photo taken he closes his eyes!
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Rachel @TaoOfPoop says
Wow, I’ll have to remember that. You deserve some R&R after your ordeal.
Parental Parody says
Classic!
I’ve done the horror small child passport trip 5 times now. Our local Australia Post are awesome. I stand behind the camera-toting lovely lady with whatever toy they’ve got in store, and promise lollipops and unicorns in return for a closed mouth and open eyes.
I tried the DIY once – finally got the perfectly centred, closed mouths, open eyes type of shots – but the bloody sheet in the background wasn’t perfectly taut and flat, and therefore the photos were rejected. Son of a…..
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