Musings of a Bad Wifey

by mamagrace71 on September 25, 2012

There comes a time in a loving couple’s journey when birthdays become overrated and easily sink and forgotten into the dregs of mundane life…oh wait. That’s just me.

The past couple of years (i.e since the boys were born), I have become, to say the least, extremely slack when it comes to birthday preparations for my beloved.

This developing lax nature has crept up like a stray cat out of a garbage bin.

I just always assumed that he is indeed a man with everything because, well, he doesn’t want much to begin with.

Give him an ocean with some decent waves and a board to hang ten and he’s a happy dude.

So, here I am thinking that the DVD’s, books, pieces of clothing that I’ve bought for him were all adequate.

Although, now come to think of it, I never saw him finish any of those books. As for the DVD’s, they all held a predictable, consistent theme of either surfing or comedy, with shows like “Modern Family” or “How I Met Your Mother” (Dare I say, the sitcoms were intended for my viewing pleasure too…ahems).

If Mr Surfer’s fed up with crap, boring presents over the years, I’ve been completely oblivious to it.

After all, he’s never mentioned anything.

Until recently.

In the lead up to his impending birthday, a dinner table conversation took me by complete surprise.

Both preoccupied in our meal time battle with the twinlets to eat their broccoli, Mr Surfer, out of the blue, decided to no longer leave another birthday to fate or my dud presents.

“Wet suit…”

“What ???”

“If you’re stuck on what to get me this year, I need a new wet suit”



Was he telling me to get my act together, or what?

Suddenly, my vague, cute idea of getting him cufflinks engraved with the twinlets’ initials flew out of our kitchen window.

Vowing to be lazy, bad wifey no more, the next day I made a trip to the surf shop. I grabbed the most sun beaten surfer sales assistant I could find. No holds barred, within minutes I bought something from the top of the range section. I’m pretty sure my pony-tailed, prickly bearded friend thought I was the easiest sale he’s made this season.

I left the shop with a resounding skip in my step. Not only did I get the present of my Hubby’s choice, I got it 2 weeks waaay in advance of the big day.

Getting confident in the race to win Wife of the Year Award, I even went ahead and made dinner plans, reserving a table at a funky new restaurant that I knew he (and not just my culinary tastes) would like.

Throwing in a couple of extras in the birthday basket, I bought some “Grand Designs” DVD’s and a surfing one I knew he hadn’t seen before.

I was on a roll, baby.

For good measure, I also scrambled through many a jewellery shop to find the perfect (non-cheesy) cufflinks.

In the end though, it was the rubber synthetic steamer that won me awesome-wifey-brownie points aplenty.

Dare I say, it was close to being the most perfect birthday I had organised for my man since the downfall to neglectful, scatterbrain spouse.


Next year I’ll remember to buy the birthday card.


Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s hopeless with birthday pressies for their partner…

Joining in Jess for IBOT

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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }

Rachel from Redcliffe Style September 25, 2012 at 7:44 am

He must have been thrilled. My husband is so hard to buy for, I struggle every time I need to buy something. They always go to waste anyway. Rachel xx
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Deb @ Home life simplified September 25, 2012 at 7:51 am

I reckon you get wife of the year! and future tip – if you forget the card take a piece of wrapping paper and fold in half and write on the inside (don’t ask how i know – i just do – who are you looking at? me?) Happy birthday to your hubby and I can’t wait to hear about your next birthday now the bar has been raised
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Ai Sakura September 25, 2012 at 8:58 am

I think the personalized cuff links are a cute idea too! Yes yes I face this problem as well and am so bad with gifts ideas. Actually ethe ideas are pretty good sometimes, just that I don’t get to make them or buy in time! Which reminds me I really should start thinking abt Christmas gifts!
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Yvette @ DTlilsquirts September 25, 2012 at 9:24 am

I always have great ideas… about a week before his birthday … buying online.. takes about 2 months to arrive… but yeah its so hard to think ahead and then hide presents!!

#teamIBOT was here to say hello! :)


Michelle @ Blundermum September 25, 2012 at 9:29 am

The poor man had to blurt out his birthday request, oh you’re a terrible wife indeed! Nah, just kidding. He was happy, you were happy, win win!
I used to drive my ex to a store and not let him leave until he had chosen an item and put it on the counter. Then I paid. Ta-da, birthday gift done. But then my ex was an ass who guilt tripped me to near-death for not mind reading each year until I started making him DIY. I like your hubby’s method better.
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Lyndal September 25, 2012 at 9:32 am

woohooo – one for the win! Dont worry – my AK has a lot of trouble getting the actual day of the birthday right, let alone a card/gift. The worst one was where he hadn’t spoken to me all day, let alone wish a happy birthday and the first thing he said to me when i got home was ‘whats for dinner’ ….. ahhhh ninja roundkick to the head!
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Mandie September 25, 2012 at 9:48 am

Nice work super-wifey!
I fluctuate in my present buying abilities for Mr. Mandie. One year, I’ll be on an awesome present roll, then next… not so good. It’s my surprise to him, you see. He never knows whether he’ll be getting an amazing present or a piece of crap! Gotta keep him guessing ;) (Disclaimer: Mr. Mandie does not necessarily agree with these sentiments)
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Chrissie at Me and My Munchkin September 25, 2012 at 9:48 am

Oh I despise birthdays and Christmases! I am dreading this first Christmas that Mr M and I are spending together. What do I get him? Do I ask what he wants or should I just be expected to know. Being that it will be about 6 months together, do I get something like a nice chain or stick with something safe like DVDs? Ugh! You are certainly not a bad wifey. Any man would be lucky to have you get something like that for their birthday :)
Chrissie xx
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Good Golly Miss Holly! September 25, 2012 at 10:50 am

Oh no girlfriend, I am HOPELESS! You did amaze this year, reward yourself with some wine x
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Kevin September 25, 2012 at 11:39 am

As the guy part of the kid wrangling team, I’ve tried to make sure birthday gifts are still a big deal. The thing that seems to be getting forgotten now are those other milsetones like anniversaries (the day you first went out together, got engaged, got married!!) I could tell you all the dates now but at the time they seem to slip through the cracks.
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carmen September 25, 2012 at 11:52 am

Well done you!! I’m not sure on the gift giving genes I received… I tend to know what to get the other half way before time and they are always taken well. And used appropriately. ;)
Here’s hoping I keep that record up!
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jess September 25, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Well in our defence they can be hard to buy for!
Boatman always wants fishing things, but how many lures can a man have? Apparently asking the question is akin to asking how many pairs of shoes a woman can have.
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Catherine Rodie Blagg @CoTaaB September 25, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I’m so crap at poor hubbies birthday! last year I forgot completely and on the morning of his birthday I was creeping round the house looking for stuff to make a card out of! Thankfully he is pretty laid back about it. Must try harder!
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Prue September 25, 2012 at 1:56 pm

You are so not the only one! I’m hopeless. Mr Nomad actually forgot to get me anything for my 30th. To his credit he was to busy planning a party. I always manage to have a card , once I even ran outside the morning of to grab a leaf to write on.
Prue x
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The Aussie Hausfrau September 25, 2012 at 2:03 pm

You’re so totally not alone Grace! I suck at organising birthday, fathers day and xmas presents for Mr Hausfrau! Every year I vow to do a better job and every year I fail!! Here’s hoping that 2013 is my year!!

Visiting from #IBOT :)
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Julie September 25, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I agree, you did a GREAT job. And, you are definitely not the only one. I didn’t get my husband anything to unwrap on his birthday this year. We had made plans together to get him… something (can’t even remember now), that required him to be there. I thought some cards made by the kids would suffice until we got to the shops together… turns out it didn’t. Quote from husband “I always try to have something for you to unwrap on your birthday”. And he does too. I’ll never be making that mistake again!
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Emily September 25, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I used to feel guilty until, for my first ever Mother’s Day, Cameron took me out shopping… for my own present. And then had me mind Ashleigh at the play gym while he ducked into the newsagent to buy the card.
No guilt here anymore. Ever. x


Rita September 25, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Oh Grace, I never know what to buy to my hubby… But looks like you did very well this year! I’m glad you had a good day!


Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right September 25, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Aww, he’s lucky to have you I think!!!! My husband would have loved all those presents you bought for your husband. Maybe they should meet one day. Go surfing together then kick back with some Grand Designs and a beer!
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Me September 25, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I always battle to try to think of things to buy A – he has everything and isn’t as though I can buy him a charm for his Pandora bracelet or some perfume that he is running low on (although maybe I should look into those and get him started with them – at least that way I would have something I could buy. Of course they would be totally useless to him but I would feel good about buying something that wasn’t for the house !!!!!) – his birthday was on 18th and we bought him a mixed 4 pack of beers and a coffee machine. I hope he enjoys fiddling and farting around making a cup of coffee because if I drank coffee I don’t think I could be bothered – too much fuss for me !
Well done on getting it right !
Have the best day !
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Emma September 25, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I’m pretty bad, that because he buys everything he wants as soon as it comes out!
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Meagan September 25, 2012 at 3:16 pm

You’ve done well Grace!
I’m pretty good with Birthdays, but he needs some work LOL.
I’m always keeping my eye out for what he is looking at in mags or when we go shopping and he drools over something I constantly make mental notes.

Saying this, it may fall short some when little ones come into the picture, but for now, i’m safe with it.

but I think Kevin ubove maybe need to write a manual for the men.. :)

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Salz September 25, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Can’t buy anything for my husband i wouldn’t know if he would like it he is kinda picky. so i just take him shopping to pick what he wants. we don’t really do the birthday thing. he bought me earings once and I had never worn earings before. i do have my ears pierced but never wore earings. So he is just as bad as I am.
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Bridget September 25, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I’m with you sister. I’m the worst gift-giver ever. Ever. In my defense, Dallas sucks at it too. This year was easy, his birthday was in August – too late to send a gift. He’ll be home soon, with an iPhone 5. :)
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Kaz September 25, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I could have written this post. My hubby never really knows what he wants and I end up putting off present shopping until the eleventh hour. He is not so good at remembering cards but I like making them online, so I have that bit covered :)
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Mumabulous September 25, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I guess the hilarious T-shirts from ThinkGeek are no longer going to cut it in the gift giving stakes.
Love Mumabulous
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Rhianna September 25, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Well done on the present front! I am a terrible present buyer for Mr Awesome. Though over the years I haven’t done too bad every now and then
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Debbie @ Aspiring Mum September 25, 2012 at 6:31 pm

My hubby’s birthday is coming up soon and I have absolutely no idea what to get him! Men are so hard to buy for! I’m sure your husband was thrilled!
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Kylez...aka...Mrs.P September 25, 2012 at 7:12 pm

I always think I have great ideas but I’m not so sure if Dave agrees. He looks or plays with them for a about a week and then it’s on to other things.
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Jess @ myheartisyourhome September 25, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Wow! You did SO well!!

I have forgotten to get my partner a card for the last – valentines day, anniversary, birthday and (heaven forbid) fathers day!



mumsthewordbloggy September 25, 2012 at 8:20 pm

bahahaha I am bloody hopeless too~ why are men so hard to buy for? thanks for showing the grand design present! off to buy some for HBs christmas present..! ;)
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Robyn (@slightly_deep) September 25, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Oh I am exactly the same! I just don’t have the knack for giving gifts! My husband usually tells me what he wants too! Glad you nailed it this time around. xxx
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Nami September 26, 2012 at 3:32 am

My husband’s grandfather passed away the day after my husband’s birthday. He has a commemorative tattoo on his arm with the date. If it weren’t for that, I’d forget his birthday. So in his book, you won the Nobel Prize! (Please don’t say that there was a happy ending, too).
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Kim-Marie September 26, 2012 at 7:22 am

Ah, you are the wife of awesomeness!

The Welshman’s birthday is 2 January. I have to buy his Xmas presents at the same time as his Birthday presents. We often are either travelling or packing to travel on his birthday – not my fault, he books our holidays! Once, we had a plan to take him out for lunch and put candles in his dessert, but he changed plans. I can’t remember why. Anyway, he was not happy about the no-cake situation.

There are still Xmas presents from 2010 in his room, still unused. This year, he’s getting a new barbecue for Xmas and birthday. Well, he was until he told me he’d managed to sort out our very good quality old one and he won’t need one.

Honestly! He had this idea that we just don’t do Xmas presents except for Boyo. Um, NO WAY DUDE! ;)
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Housewife in Heels September 28, 2012 at 8:19 am

I’m hopeless with presents too… But I can bake a devine cake x
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Bel September 28, 2012 at 8:39 am

I’m with you!! My hubby’s birthday is Christmas Eve, so you can only imagine the trouble I have.
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Parental Parody September 28, 2012 at 2:49 pm

You’re a gem. All those presents on top of the gift that keeps on giving (every. single. year) in the form of the twinlets.

Really, he should’ve given you a gift. Even on his birthday.

Well done!
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Lara @ This Charming Mum September 28, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I struggle with presents too since my husband is into new technologies and I never know what I’m shopping for! I’ve realised that I’m better off giving him a voucher, or going shopping together so he can get what he really wants. Doesn’t seem very special or romantic to me – but better than seeing the disappointed face when he opens a pair of socks!
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Danya Banya September 29, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Nath’s birthday is next month – better start planning! Although my fallback option of boutique beer is always appreciated, and super easy, so it might end up being that again. He was a bit slack with my birthday, which was this week, but I’ll cut him some slack as we have a 2 week old keeping us busy :)
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Pink Ronnie October 4, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Wow, sounds like you did an awesome job, Gracey!
Have to say, I’ve always been pretty slack at planning anything for Rick. Maybe next year I’ll try and do something special too for the hubby. :)
Ronnie xo


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