To my beloved boys,
Today is your fourth birthday but it’s no more special than any other, for me to tell you how much my life has been fulfilled since your arrivals.
Not for a day, for a second, from the moment you were inside of me, growing and kicking, getting to know each other, did I take either of you for granted.
For so long, I never knew if it was even possible to have one of you. And after all the effort and the prayers, even when the signs all showed there was the possibility of being doubly blessed, your father and I always remained prudent.
With each cautionary step, after every appointment, after each ultra sound we were told you were both breathing, alive, thriving, against the odds.
Each defining moment when we would get the all clear, we would retreat to the hospital’s prayer room. It was our own little refuge.
In that quiet, dark room, away from the dangers and sickness of this harsh world, we would quietly offer our thanks and gratitude. Tears of relief always fell. And with one hand on my tummy – where you were both busy keeping each other company – your father and I held each other a little tighter.
We’ve jumped so many hurdles together: Our time in NICU, the pain and exhaustion of tandem breastfeeding, the mental and emotional challenges of trying to do our very best for each of you.
Now here we are. Celebrating another year of glorious life; of being together.
Effortlessly, I can already see you are each other’s constant. In two, there is one. There is unity. There is the safety and comfort that whatever you face, the other is firmly by your side.
Yet, beyond your identical appearances, there lies the importance that you are your own unique and special personality. Whatever others may say or perceive, they will only know truly know and understand each of you for your special traits and not simply for distinguishing birthmarks.
It’s not even up to us, your parents, to predict what your talents or interests will be. For now, they change every day. So, we want each of you to make a deal with time; let it settle what your choices, decisions and adventures will be.
While it seems ironic that I write a birthday message to my twins, that encourages individuality and independence, I know one day you’ll also read this with your own different interpretations.
Just as you’ll find your own definition of success, I know that you will be the first to give your twin brother’s back a hearty congratulatory slap.
When each of you will face trials and failures, in your chosen paths and journeys, may you always meet at crossroads to help and support each other.
As much as my heart aches a little more each year; holding on to this unrealistic, selfish tingle of a wish for time to freeze; I’m excited for the great potential of two very special lives.
For if not for time and serendipity, the two of you – at the same time – would never exist.
Love you forever,
Mama
Joining Essentially Jess for IBOT