Along with countless others, Lance Armstrong inspired me like no other elite sports athlete.
From the very first page of his book “It’s Not About The Bike”, I was captivated. His steel determination to overcome terminal cancer, winning the world’s most elite cyling tournament, even having children against the odds; it made the markings of a truly remarkable individual.
All of that has collapsed into a heap of lies and deception.
The world is still stunned. Twitterdom has gone into overdrive in showing just how filthy angry we all are.
I wanted to join in the army of Lance haters, all those people who felt they were betrayed.
But something stopped me.
All the vitriol made me uncomfortable.
Because, unless we are one of the many (and there seems to be a large number) who were bullied, vilifeid, and even sued, why do we – the general public – feel that it’s within our rights to judge him?
Why do we as human beings always take the easy route and hate? To turn around and fight vindictive or wrongful behaviour with a quick point of the finger of blame?
I’m certainly not condoning his actions. At first, while carefully watching his body language and analysing his calculated answers on the Oprah interview, all I could see were the traits of an arrogant, narcissistic sociopath.
It was gobsmacking how little remorse he showed.
I was adamant that it would be near impossible for anyone to ever forgive such a ruthess, cheating and deceitful man.
Armstrong’s explanations for his doping or hurting so many people made no sense at all.
Then I realised why.
I’ve never walked in his shoes, or taken a ride in his bike saddle.
I’ve never fought Stage 3 cancer. I wasn’t born with a relentless spirit to win and to stay number one. I’ve never been so fixated and focused on one particular goal that I would do anything to get there. Even cheat.
So, I cannot judge.
By the end of the interview, I decided being angry was futile.
Instead there was a wave of disappointment and the realisation that despite all the years of having him on a pedestal, Lance Armstrong is, shockingly, also human. With faults. With mistakes. With issues.
Coming to terms with the hard reality, everyone’s got a “behind the scenes” version of themselves. Whether it’s good or evil.
In its entirety, with all those who have been left heartbroken, including a 13 year old boy who defended his dad all these years, it’s a shameful situation that requires compassion.
It’s takes more effort. It’s always harder to find. And it certainly can’t be offered so easily.
The Armstrong case is yet to continue. He has countless apologies to make. He will eventually have to face the imminent federal investigation set against him.
As all of the saga unfolds, it will cost me nothing to have an open mind.
Joining in the awesome IBOT linky over at Essentially Jess.
Pip says
It’s a tough one isn’t it Grace. It’s true though. Until you walk a day in his cleats we shouldn’t judge, but it’s certainly easy to. Sad also the incredible name and legacy of Livestrong has to lose its chairman. I too feel for his son and the resilience his family will have to muster in the face of all this vitriol.
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Catherine Rodie Blagg says
I think the whole story is really sad. You’re right and agree that in general we’re too quick to judge and get angry. Personally I think it would be easier to forgive him if he showed some remorse. I wonder what’s going on inside his head though? maybe the arrogant shell is hiding something else.
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Lydia C. Lee says
I have to say, I don’t really get the outrage – It’s a sport where everyone cheats, so I don’t really get why it’s a sport? Though as my partner said, when they were discussing stripping him of his medals, he still beat everyone else who was on drugs, so he still was the best. The best cheat, if you will.
I do think the real loser is the charity, as his name alone would have helped them enormously, not to mention the ill-gotten cash that he gave them.
If it was a sport I followed, maybe I’d feel differently. As an onlooker, I find it very interesting to watch (I love the politics of sport, it’s fascinating), but let Mike Tyson be a reminder to Armstrong, all negative publicity can be turned around. General public are very fickle, even in hate.
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Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
It’s not my place to forgive Lance. It doesn’t affect me directly at all. He did what he did and he’s admitted it. It happens. Not my issue – but his. The big question is, can he forgive himself?
And besides, you can’t take away all that money he raised for cancer. Cheat money or not, they still have money they didn’t have before to help fight the big C. Better to be spent there than on more drugs.
So yeah, it’s an interesting story but not one I am buying into. Never followed bike riding (and absolutely reject the wearing of lycra) so the whole thing hasn’t impacted much on me at all to be honest.
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
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Emily says
Fantastically put Grace, and he put it well when he said that for generations his family will be know for his mistakes. He will never have a future income and his kids will have to live with the Armstrong name forever. They are who I feel most sorry for. I don’t have any sympathy for him, apart from the fact that he had to battle cancer, but it’s obvious he’s a survivor, no matter what the cost.
Emily
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Vicky says
“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone ” says it best.
How, when, why, what…. It’s all immaterial. He has to live with this. His burden to carry.
As Leanne above said, a whole lot of funds were put into cancer research because of him. THAT is a great thing, yet there isn’t much mention of any of that.
I’m with you mama grace. Who am I to judge?
Vicky says
🙂
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Aroha @ Colours of Sunset says
I think we can and do feel angry because for YEARS he denied it, for YEARS there were those of us who defended him, believed him, and maybe that is our fault, not his. Society loves a true hero, and let’s face it, that’s what he was to a lot of people. To overcome all those challenges and be the best ever…it was a great story. Unfortunately that’s all it was – a big fat story! I feel awful for his kids, his exes who probably knew what was going on and also found themselves lying to protect people, I feel sorry for the people who ever had to work with him. It’s not anger I feel any more, it’s pity. And disgust. I may not have walked in his exact shoes, but I am a person faced with choices every day, and I choose whether to be an honest, moral person, or not. He chose not. And by all accounts of the interview, which I didn’t watch, he doesn’t deserve trust again. I can forgive anyone almost anything, and I can forgive him for the choices he made. But I don’t think he can just fess up after all these years and then be allowed to participate in anything again.
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Danya Banya says
It’s sad because he was such an icon of good. We needed him up on a pedestal. But that’s not fair to criticise him over and above other dopers just because our expectations of him were higher.
But I also think that the doping rules are too harsh. If you injure yourself, surely you should be able to take medicine that would help you get better. You can if you were just riding for fun. But you can’t if you are riding for sport. Seems a bit unfair. But they need to relax this for everyone, not just one person…
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Amanda @ Cooker and a Looker says
I think I’d be more inclined to forgive him if he’d just cheated.
For me the unforgivable thing is the countless lawsuits and legal pursuit of anyone who dared to question him. I think of the stress that would have been placed on these people and their families – both financially and emotionally – and I hope they have not paid too higher price.
Turns out, I’ll forgive a cheat, but not a bully.
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Deb @ Bright and Precious says
I don’t think we can judge – because like you said we’ve never stepped in his shoes and faced his entire life of challenges. And I definitely don’t hate. But I think it’s only natural to feel shocked. And it’s natural to think that his actions were wrong. As for forgiveness, well, I’m not sure if it’s our place to forgive. A man who is clearly unaware of his behaviour, showing little remorse, shifting blame and on the verge of sociopathic – well these are reasons not to give him any more endorsements. And I believe the authorities need to make sure there are some consequences to his actions. But if we take Lance’s actions personally then we become as narcissistic as he is.
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Me says
I watched the first part of the interview and had mixed feelings. He had always been someone I had admired for what he had achieved. When he was vehemently denying the charges, I believed him. I was totally devastated when he confessed, the same as I was when I heard Hansie Cronje admit to match fixing. At the end of the day, there is no impact on my life – but I feel for the people he hurt, his family, the sports enthusiasts who looked up to him. He will spend a long time trying to right the wrongs he did – and whether he will or not, is up to him and the people that he wronged. He has to live with the decisions that he has made – good luck to him !
Have a great day !
Me
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Ai Sakura says
It’s certainly easy to feel him like someone “close” since he is such a big celebrity and so influential. But the truth is, his judgement shouldn’t come from us. Kudos to you for having an open mind and not joining in the hate. After all, the world certainly needs less of that.
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Veronica @ Mixed Gems says
Well written, Grace. What is it about the human pysche? Maybe I feel less outraged because I never read his book. I never followed the sport. I never watched the interview. I never put him on a pedestal. I don’t feel a personal betrayal by someone I saw as a hero. I was never emotionally involved on any level. But because to now know, should I feel outraged at the injustice, the cheating, the bullying, the lying, the arrogance, the hurt caused to people, as a matter of principle? Or is that the distinction in our reactions – the knee jerk due to personal disappointment and a sense of betrayal vs the compassion/sympathy due to the “inhumanity”? Okay, I think I’d better stop before I get lost in this deep instrospection and reflection! 🙂
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Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions says
I’ll be perfectly honest and say that I am just so over Lance Armstrong. Having any kind of outrage towards him is just so draining and I have way more important things to be worrying about. In the end how he behaves now is what will be most important, nothing he says is going to go back and change the past so I think its best if we just let him get on with making amends to the many people who need those amends. Its a good reminder that famous people, for whatever reason they are famous, in the end they are just people like you and me and nobody is perfect.
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EssentiallyJess says
I’ve stayed right away from the story. To be honest, I’m just frustrated that as a culture we make heroes of these people, and place so much pressure on them, when what they are doing is incredible yes, but no less incredible than what others do. In a week where there were hundreds of everyday Aussies risking life and limb to protect others from bush fires, and do really heroic things, I have no time for Lance. I think it’s wonderful he overcame cancer, and I love this post about encouraging us not to judge him. At the same time, we all have choices.
I also quickly get over anything that goes crazy on twitter. Don’t even get me started on the breastfeeding debate! 🙂
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B says
This is great.
My husband raced bikes for years. When we travelled Europe we saw a few famous bike races, including the Tour de France, including one that Lance won… Cyclists are amazing athletes. They put their bodies on the line EVERY day. I don’t understand why they put on such races that are near impossible to complete…. I guess so it gives us mortals at the bottom of the hill something to be in awe about.
I do not defend the lying and the cheating and we have been waiting for everything to come out… but… Lance is not alone. Officials are blood testing in retrospect now. Cyclists will need to have a blood passport that covers them during training as well as when they are racing…
But… as was said back in the ‘day’ we used to follow cycling closely… “May the best chemist win”. These power hungry, win at all costs folks will find the next thing to try…
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Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
The whole story makes me feel a little down. I get the feeling that he started with one lie, then just got caught up in the flow. You know when kids say something, then just keep building on the story, even when they know it’s not true? It’s a terrible shame for his family, I hope people don’t judge them for something they have no say in. The support of the charity is the one good thing in this complicated mess. x
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Seana Smith says
Yes, agree…. I haven’t ever followed cycling not read his book. In my experience many of the most ‘succesful’ people are so driven and single minded that they miss out on lots of good stuff in life. (I used to work in showbiz TV so met a few plus many TV presenters.)
So have always had a bit of distance and been glad they’re the ones out there not me. I do LOVE the exceptions!
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Sabeen @ Mumchic says
Well said Grace. Yes, we are too quick to judge and blame. We will never know the circumstances that led up to a career built on lies or the constant pressure to be number 1, the challenges of being sick and beating all odds. I can only imagine the heat his loves ones are taking. Perhaps more than any one else in this world , he owes it to them for sticking by him.
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Rita says
I think the problem with Lance Armstrong is that a lot of people put him so high. He was their hero. Maybe a hero can at the limit make mistakes. But, a hero can never put himself in a criminal situation… I like your take on the story. It’s easy to judge but we are not in his shoes… For me, what I feel is the most shocking it’s that he behave like if he has no regrets…
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carmen says
I have, for some unknown reason, never warmed to the Lance Armstrong story/persona. I guess he didn’t have an impact on my life as much as many others. I have many friends who adored him openly… and some still do.
But somewhere, I always struggled to just “accept” that he really was THAT person.
I wasn’t surprised when it was all uncovered either – many others were shocked.
No, I don’t have a right to judge him. We all walk our own path.
I just think it’s a very VERY difficult lesson for him to learn… as well as to those who do judge him.
xxXOoo
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Kelly HTandT says
I’ve come straight from Kylez’ post to yours, and her words about us all having part of ourselves that no one else knows are still sitting with me. I don’t judge Lance at all. To be perfectly honest, it’s nice to know that others, especially those held in such high regard, make mistakes too. It’s refreshing and soothing to know that the world isn’t perfect, and I feel a little bit better about myself for knowing it. Having said that, I did comment on Kylez’ post that I was called self-centered today, and this comment does sound rather self-centered… Hmm…
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Emily says
Nice. I don’t hate Lance Armstrong. I don’t know him – how could I hate him? Why would I waste that emotion on him? I’m disappointed that he did this, that others knew and helped, that it took so long for this confession to come out. But I don’t hate him. And it certainly doesn’t consume me.
I feel for those who would have won the Tours in those seven years had he been caught at the right time. Being handed the trophy now just wouldn’t feel the same. And I feel for anyone who dared to speak out against him over the years whose career suffered as a result, or who was actually sued as a result.
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iSophie says
Love this post Grace. I have refused to get caught up in it all, because I can’t judge him, not knowing the full story myself (or if anyone really does but him anyway).
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Rachel from Redcliffe Style says
I am surprised by it all and his lack of ‘give-a-shit’. In the end, he doesn’t impact my life at all. Rachel x
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Bridget says
It’s easier to be angry. Just like it’s easier to hate than to love. Forgiveness and understanding takes courage. I don’t know if Lance Armstrong deserves it, but when he talked about how he had disappointed his son, I cried.
Excellent post, Grace.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me says
I don’t think this guy just made a mistake, he made an entire career out of cheating the system. Cheating the cycling community, his fans, his sponsors, his publishers, his family. He stood up time and time again and said he didn’t do what he actually did over and over. His fans spent their hard earned money on his books and the merchandise he was contracted to be the face of. Millions of people worldwide spent their own time tuned in to watch him race the Tour de France and win while on drugs. Others, who weren’t doping put their own lives on the line to train and compete against him, when in reality they never had a chance to defeat him because all along he was jacking up on performance enhancing drugs.
The guy is arrogant beyond belief. He is reported to be a bully. Like it was mentioned earlier, what about all the people who suffered because he sued them for libel?
I’m sorry, but way too many people have been hurt emotionally, physically, financially for me not to judge this guy. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that can justify his behaviour and his utter lack of respect for anyone else but himself.
I don’t even care about cycling. But I do care about our society as a whole and I think people like Lance Armstrong let everyone down.
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Kaz @ Melting Moments says
Hubby is a keen bike rider and was a fan of Lance. It’s such a sad example for our kids but I suppose he never thought of that. I’m looking forward to watching the interview with Oprah.
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Rhianna says
Great post Grace, I agree with your view point. For me I am all rather meh about it, I don’t really care one way or another. I have never had much time for Lance, I always felt he was a bit of an over rated show pony, I am not surprised that he had a drug problem, what surprises me is that it took so long for him to own up to it. I do hope that people can remember that he is as you say , only human.
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Mumabulous says
When I was 19 I briefly dated a lovely young man who was competitive cyclist. He told me that absolutely everyone in the the higher echelons of the sport was doing drugs. That was well over 20 years ago. I imagine the scene is even worse now. The Lance debacle is completely unshocking to me. The entire sport of cycling needs an overhaul.
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Kim@Fallingfacefirst says
Great post Grace. I don’t judge him, and I’m not in any position to do so. He’s human, and he’s really failed. I do feel for everyone he’s let down, not so much through the drug-taking since that was endemic in bike racing, but in his other actions, like the libel case. I’m a bit tired of him to be honest.
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Becky from BeckyandJames.com says
Wonderful post, Grace. I’ve tried to keep away from all the angry posts, tweets and statuses. In the end he’s a man. A man who is just as human as the rest of us. It is a disappointing story but I don’t think it’s healthy for us to hold onto anger over an finding the ideal we held another to couldn’t be lived up to.
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Carly says
I love what you have written Grace and I agree it is a really tough one.
I am so disappointed the hate and lies overshadows the fact he truly is an amazing athlete despite the lies and drugs. The drugs didn’t put in all the hard yards training, and I can promise if you or I took the same performance enhancing drugs and got on a bike we would barely finish Stage 1 let alone win the race.
It really has become a very sad story.
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Shari says
Wow Grace, you’ve had me thinking all day (good onya!).
Lance Armstrong certainly owes me no apology and although I can understand the outrage and disappointment that people are expressing, I’ve personally become a bit MEH about it all.
People are united by sadness and anger when heroes fall – the tabloids and social media help with all of that – but ultimately his demons are his own to carry – of course his family will shoulder some of that burden by association.
Because of my own experience with someone unable to cough up the truth when confronted, I’m just thinking that Lance and I may never see eye to eye.
Great post again, Grace xx
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Danielle says
Great post….I, too, loved his book, and my cyclist husband recently read ‘The Secret Race’ (his team mate Tyler Hamilton’s story) and we saw him for the narcissistic bully that he is. I’m disappointed, but I know that when totally immersed into that world, coming second is still not winning.
He has fallen very far, and has lost every ounce of glory. I hope his humanitarian work can now outshine his shame.
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Martine@themodernparent says
Thanks Grace for one of the most sensible posts on this subject. It is such a different world and whilst certainly he has devastated many….it is they that can cast judgement.
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Kevin says
Grace, you’ve just given me my favourite quote for the week “As all of the saga unfolds, it will cost me nothing to have an open mind.”
Love it.
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ava says
It costs nothing to have an open mind, so true Grace! And it’s a very personal choice to have one. Excellent IBOT post again!
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CJ says
Well said, that’s given me a whole new way of thinking about this issue. Thank you!!!
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Cathy says
I think you got it in one with the term “wave of disappointment”. People have been hurt because they were duped, because they believed the lies. You’re right, he’s human and we wanted to believe the fairytale with the hero.
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Lara @ This Charming Mum says
I think you really hit the nail on the head there Grace when you said that he is ‘human’. Just because he’s in the public eye, even setting himself (or being set up) as a role model, doesn’t mean he won’t do plain old dumb things and make plain old dumb choices. It’s a shame this ‘choice’ had such grand scale repercussions, though. I still don’t know what to make of the Oprah interview! It all looked so staged, but that could be her as much as him.
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Zanni, Heart Mama says
I don’t think it’s just Lance though. There is a whole network of sports officials, sponsors and top sporters who condone or turn a blind eye to doping. Occasionally someone is punished, like Ben Johnson. I don’t think there are evil and good sports stars. There are those who are caught and those who aren’t. To perform at such an incredible level, hormones and body chemicals delete dramatically. In some ways it makes sense to dope as long as it’s safe. Of course I would be one of the few who feel sorry for Lance. (My husband’s obsessed by all things sport so looked into it a lot.) Xxxx
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Things I'd Tell You (@Melissa4444) says
“..all I could see were the traits of an arrogant, narcissistic sociopath. It was gobsmacking how little remorse he showed.’
This is what got to me. Look, I’ve never been invested in Armstrong. But I confess, I’m pretty disgusted right now. But not so much because he cheated (though of course…) but the bullying that he did to other team mates. Team mates that didn’t want to dope. Team mates that wanted to stop doping. Team mates that wanted to blow the whistle. His threats to destroy them – in some cases, at least professionally, he did.
That he sued (successfully) a journalist who was insisting that he was cheating. It’s not the cheating as much as for me – the bullying.
And yes. That interview only served to make me see him the way you mentioned. As an an arrogant, narcissistic sociopath. He honestly believes he hasn’t really done anything wrong – despite his ‘apology’. He thinks this is all such a beat up – so trivial. and that he is still different to other cheats. It doesn’t count. Because He’s Lance Armstrong.
Nikki@WonderfullyWomen says
Great post, and I leaving anger behind and just heading straight to disappointed. No matter what life has handed you, drugs are NOT the answer. It is just plain sad that elite athletes have to resort to illegally claiming glory, and no doubt the media and the public are partly to blame, as we love an Aussie hero and take pride in being the best. It’s a vicious circle sending the wrong messages to our kids that you must do whatever it takes if you want to be the best.
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Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right says
Interesting insights Grace. I am not a big sports fan, and I am probably “un-Australian” in that I don’t even get inspired by sportspeople. I’m just missing that gene. But I can understand how people do, especially when his performance record was so incredible – “miraculous”, as he himself described it. And I can certainly see how people would now feel let down. But perhaps it’s a lesson not to forget these people are human too. Which is exactly what you are saying 🙂
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The Hairy Chef says
Being angry IS futile you’re right – Technically, I think Armstrong indirectly admitted to being a sufferer of Antisocial Personality Syndrome…perhaps that sounds too mild for the reality of his crime…but above all this story is proof that when you put unstable people in in volatile environments they explode. Sure what he did was wrong and messy, but to what extent should we blame the cycling community and the media for portraying him as a god-like conqueror who was impenetrable?
This is a Ben Cousins on a global scale – and as sufferers of mental health, whether it be addiction, or sociopathy…any sufferer who turns around and says “I am ready to turn my life around and I’m sorry for what I did”, in my mind, deserves to be forgiven.
Read more here : http://www.thehairychef.com
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The Hairy Chef says
I said this alot more succinctly before the comment I just wrote deleted itself before loading…
but as sufferers of mental health (I would say Armstrong has Antisocial Perosnality Dissorder…or something to that end) – anyone who turns around and says “I’m sorry and I’m ready to get better” deserves to have the chance to do so. Ben Cousins is an addict…and he had that chance…
It wasn’t easy for him either…
But to what extent does the blame lie on the governing body of the sporting world to address the issues that vulnerable personalities bring into the elite sporting world? Elite sports people NEED to have unusual personalities, otherwise we might all be out there doing it…so it’s not surprising ot me in the least that this things happens. It is surprising that so many people lay ALL the blame on the individual.
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Kate @Crazy Crunchy Chocolate Mummy says
I agree, i couldn’t join in the hate either.
I know what he did was horrible, he ruined peoples careers, destroyed their lives and lied to the world.
However he also did so much good, he raised millions for cancer research which is now forgotten and did help inspire many people.
Its just a shame the same people are now completely let down by the lies and deceit.
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Nami says
I’ve yet to come up with the guts to post about this, but my husband has been banned from his own family for actions that stem far back into his childhood, which they refuse to confront. Judgement, in my opinion, is not among us to bestow. None of our great leaders ever did it – as a matter of fact, they fashioned laws and spilled blood to prevent us from condemning a man wrongfully because of it. Like all the politicians who sleep with hookers, all the athletes who do what it takes to win, all the mothers who sacrificed their sons and daughters for a cause unknown, none of us could ever know the entire truth to a discrepancy. It’s not for us to judge – Lance Armstrong was a tremendous athlete.
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Kirsty @ My Home Truths says
Great post Grace. I always admired his determination and will to succeed against all the odds so it is disappointing to know that he achieved all that by deceptive means. I think I mourn for the ideal he represented, for the role model he once was for everyone, rather than for his failure as an individual. He is human after all.
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Simone@Life.Love.Sim says
Good post Grace. I am disappointed for what Lance represented to so many people, especially children who looked up to him. I am concerned about how his children will suffer the shame of what he has done. Yes, I think its bad that he cheated…but if he had come clean 10 years ago it would have been a different story. People would have been more forgiving. But we have all debated and defended him, because we desperately wanted him not to be a cheat. Because he had done so much for cancer and has given so much hope. Its such a shame.
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Kim Houssenloge says
What a great post. We are all so quick to hate and judge and act all high and mighty-as-if-we’d-never-do-anything-like-that until we walk in those same shoes and live that same life. Thanks for giving a new light to the Lance saga. So refreshing in these self-righteous times.
Penny says
Great thought provoking post Gracie. I’m a bit meh over it all. I didn’t have him on a pedestal, cycling has never been my thing. I guess because it’s not a big deal to me, I kind of just see it as another cheat exposed… and there will always be more of those in the future.
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Denyse Whelan Education Specialist says
I agree with the notion of forgiveness. Yet in the human culture isn’t it easy to become ‘attached’ and ‘involved’ with another’s life? I watch people who write about Oprah herself as a ‘heroine or icon’ Then there’s those who ‘hero-worship’ the sporting people who have let themselves down and now are mostly feeling ‘cheated’ of something they held dear.
A reputation is owned by the person. Each of us is human and we make errors. In the scheme of things his error went on for a long time and painted a picture of untruth and he ‘let himself’ down before anyone else.
Isnt there a saying …and I am pretty sure it’s in the Bible…”Let he who is without sin cast the first stone?”
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Lara McCaughey says
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