It was a morning like any other. Frantically busy. Already half an hour late, the boys weren’t any closer to getting ready for daycare.
I was in a shittier mood than usual.
Stressing out over something trivial like not being able to find my sunglasses or my husband leaving (yet another) empty milk bottle in the fridge.
I’d been catastrophizing a little more than usual over the past couple of days, making the tiniest, minute issue into something insurmountable.
Trying to calm me down, Mr Surfer’s come back line had been, “It’s no big deal.”
That just made me fume even more.
My immediate retort (with steam blowing out of my head and nostrils) was:
“It’s a big deal to ME. The fact that you don’t think it is, is demeaning something important to ME…”
And I’d let him have it.
Off we parted to get on with our day, me in my usual huff, him shaking his head in complete confusion.
A couple of hours later and several missed calls from my dad and my husband, I arrived home to hear that my late cousin’s husband was in hospital, under critical condition.
It hadn’t even been a year since her own passing in that tragic car accident, my cousin’s two surviving children were now in danger of losing their only remaining parent.
After speaking to my dad, I called Mr Surfer.
I’m so very blessed that I have a forgiving husband who can also forget my atrocious behaviour so easily.
Having already heard the news from my parents, our phone call mainly consisted of my sobs and tears.
Disbelief. Shock. Utter, unbearable sadness.
He came home from work immediately and held me with the same tight squeeze when my cousin died only 10 months ago.
We were back here again and all I could think of was how this, this pain, this tragedy and awful injustice to one family was the big deal.
Perspective.
We always try to remind ourselves not to “sweat over the small stuff”; that life’s so much bigger and significant than the niggly, trivial inconveniences.
But it’s hard not to get caught up in the daily drone.
We all do it.
The thing is, I don’t even remember what I was specifically upset over that morning.
But for the rest of my life, I’ll never forget the pain for my cousin’s two children who have lost so, so much.
Perspective.
Joining Essentially Jess for #IBOT
Raych aka Mystery Case says
I really feel for you. I’ve been guilty lately of letting the small stuff get to me but I think ultimately I’ve been bottling a lot of stuff up for far too long and the little stuff was just a catalyst.
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Dani @ sand has no home says
I’m so sorry 🙁 this brought tears to my eyes.
I am big at catastrophizing. I am forever catching myself at it.
I saw my father and brother drown when I was 18, I always, always try to bring perspective to the situation. I forget so often though. It is only human.
Blessings to those poor children x
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Rhianna says
fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you lovely. Perspective is everything. Your FYBF last week (as well as this one) is helping me with my perspective. There I was last week moaning about a broken phone and you were dealing with the tragic loss of a family member xx
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tahlia - the parenting files says
big hugs love… it is so hard sometimes to get perspective because it is only human of us to get caught up in the mundane antics of life… but sometimes it is all about taking a step back, taking ourselves off to regain that perspective.
wishing you lots of love and I only hope to hear good news about your cousin’s husband. Hang in there xbox
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Lucy @ Bake Play Smile says
That is just so awful Grace. Makes you appreciate your loved ones that little bit more doesn’t it. So sorry to hear that. xx
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Lisa Wood says
Bugger, so unfair Grace…..wishing it was different. And yeah life has a way to make things look different – thanks for sharing your shitty mood – so good to know that I am not the only one who has “Big Deal” moments! Wising i could give you a hug, sending one your way now xxx
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Hugzilla says
I love the “serenity prayer”. I saw a psychic a billion years ago and she “gifted” it to me. I’ve treasured it ever since. It is not always easy to abide by, but I try to anyway x
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Julie @ Off to the park says
Those poor kids, they have been through so much already. Its awful when it happens to good people, and when there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m glad you have a thoughtful husband in Mr Surfer, and that he was there to give you the love and support you need. Take care. xx
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Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
This is something we could all do with a lot more of, perspective. It seems so unfair Grace, my heart is sad for those children, and you and your family. I have to say that life really isn’t far at times, there’s no sugar coating it. Hugs my friend xx
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Bec @ The Plumbette says
Grace I’m so sorry to read this. What a sad and totally unfair situation. It’s certainly given me perspective today. Prayers will be made for you and your family especially your cousin’s children. X
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Emma Fahy Davis says
Oh honey, this brought tears to my eyes. You are so right, it is all about perspective. Today while I was cranky with the baby for waking me up at 4.30am and shouting at the big girls to clean up their mess, a little girl I don’t know but who is a friend of a friend died from cancer. In the grand scheme of things, the mess doesn’t matter and there is plenty of time for sleep. Those things just aren’t important.
Keeping your family in our prayers xx
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Alicia O'Brien says
I do try not to sweat the small stuff, some days it’s hard. I am always brought down to ground by the hardships of other people. Bless your hubby for the tight squeezy hugs you needed. xx
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EssentiallyJess says
The school minister at my kids school died last Saturday, whilst out snorkelling. We saw him at chapel on Friday morning, he went on Bridie’s school camp on Thursday night, and then Saturday he died. At 4 o clock they were pulling him out of the water, and I was trying not to be grumpy with my husband. Perspective is huge, and always shocking.
I’m so sorry for your loss Grace. xxx
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Aroha @ Colours of Sunset says
I always say, perspective is so important, but unfortunately it usually comes at someone else’s great loss and pain. Life can be so f’ing unfair Grace. My thoughts are with you and your whole family xox
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Winnie @ Bubfriendly says
Dear Grace, I am sooooo soooooo sorry. I hope that whatever critical condition your cousin’s husband is in he will manage to pull through and hope that the children will not have to go through such unspeakable pain again. Thoughts are with you and your family. Take care xx
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Rita @ The Crafty Expat says
Dear Grace, this quote means so much to me. It is something I really try to apply in my every day life. Thinking of you.
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