The tragic story of Van Tuong Nguyen is something I remember like it was yesterday.
A young Melbourne man, convicted for drug trafficking through Changi Airport, Singapore became a significant part of Australian history and a huge impact for what it means when Australians go overseas smuggle drugs in unforgiving, deadliest of strict countries like Singapore and Indonesia.
There is no mercy. Only a death sentence.
And the thing is, the background of Nguyen goes far deeper than just a young punk trying to make a living from selling drugs.
Nguyen’s life was tough from the word go. Born as a twin in a Thai refugee camp , his biological father abandoned the family long before.
Even having migrated to Australia, life as a teenager wasn’t easy. Unable to afford university, Nguyen worked odd jobs. It was while he was a salesman when apparently, he decided to try and help his identical twin brother, Khoa out of financial debt by becoming a drug mule.
Despite pleas of clemency from the Australian Government and Amnesty International to the Singapore government, on December 2, 2005 at Changi Prison, Nguyen met his unfortunate fate.
In the lead up to his execution, I followed the story every day. Clicking on the news, agonising photos of his mum and his brother would appear and my heart would break.
I didn’t know them. I didn’t have to. Because seeing them fall apart was enough to remind me of the fragile connection between love, life, loss and family.
Whether or not you believe that justice was served by having Nguyen’s life taken away from him, it comes back to that poignant saying, “No parent should have to bury their children”
On the last day that Ms Kim Nguyen visited her son before his execution, her wan, distressed face and suddenly appearing grey hair was enough of an image to make you realize just how horribly wrong this world can be.
Wrong that a young man naively thought drug smuggling was the solution.
Wrong that parts of world remain resolutely unchanged with their laws in capital punishment and the death penalty.
Wrong that an innocent mother had to deal with the harshest and most devastating of circumstances.
This Thursday SBS will be running a 2 part series called “Better Man” based on the events leading up to Nguyen’s execution.
I read over the weekend some reviews. From what I could gather, it certainly has the potential to create controversy into the capital punishment debate.
In fact, I had just been thinking a couple of weeks ago about Nguyen’s case and wondered that the media hype it created 7 years ago was to be forever lost and forgotten.
While Nguyen has so far been the last Australian sentenced with the death penalty, there are no assurances that there won’t be others.
I was hoping the program would keep Nguyen’s story alive and to send a strong message that while our own judicial system no longer has the death penalty, we can’t control how young Australians are sentenced in others. Especially in South East Asian countries where there is zero tolerance for drug related offences.
But, Nguyen’s mother has written a letter to the director, Khoa Do demanding to stop its screening; that such a program is only reopening wounds that have barely healed – and most likely never will – for her and her family.
And you know what? I’m taking Ms Nguyen’s side.
I’ve decided. I won’t be watching the show.
After reading her words of pain and suffering and the heavy burden she still carries, there are sensitivities to the story that the rest of us just shouldn’t touch or entertain.
If it hurts her; if she doesn’t believe that it’s a program that will bring any kind of justice or light to her son’s trial, then let’s respect her wishes.
How many of us can say we’ve gone through the painful ordeal she has?
Let her remember her son as any mother should – with love and in peace.
Joining Essentially Jess for IBOT
Tegan says
I tend to avoid stories like these as a general rule. They are often sensationalised and work on getting the ‘best’ emotional reaction from viewers.
From someone who has spent time in jail (a far cry from an the jails in South East Asia but still not a walk in the park) I know what it’s like to have my freedom taken away and the effects it can have on someone. So I think that the death penalty is the easy way out. I don’t think it should be brought back, instead bringing back life in prison. It’s soul crushing to have someone in control of your every movement, regardless of how tough a person is.
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Jacana says
I have so much trouble coming to terms with a human taking another humans life. It just isn’t right.
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natalia familia says
I agree with Jacana, its a horrific idea that one human can legally take the life of another. Who knows what his life would have turned out like if he was given a second chance. He may have had a lot of good to contribute to the world. xx
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Lara @ This Charming Mum says
I heard the letter read out by a translator on the news this morning and it’s just heartbreaking. It raises so many questions about what counts as being in the public good when it comes to dramatisations of personal stories like this. I can remember some similar issues being raised over the Underbelly series and other similar things where real people’s deaths become ‘entertainment’. Technically, I suppose this poor, grieving mother doesn’t ‘own’ the story since so much of it has already been covered by the press – but then I think about how I would feel if it was my child and I can completely understand her desperate need for privacy and space for the family. I won’t be watching it either.
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Lydia C. Lee says
I saw the ad a few weeks ago and thought “who would watch that, how depressing” – not judgment on how it was made, but I got the creepy feeling there was a voyeuristic aspect, not an ‘educational’ intent.
There was a quote by someone about the Bali 9, that they were “too poor or too stupid” to know better – while harsh, I think it sums up a lot of people in those situations. So education needs to be done, but something else, more support or an avenue of opportunity needs to be made available.
But I have no answers. I feel really sorry for the mother if this was done without her permission.
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Lisa@Circle of Toast says
Maybe there is a chance that this man’s story will help prevent someone else making this same stupid mistake? I lost a family member to a drug overdose (it’s a long story, but she was NOT an addict), so I have no sympathy for drug mules, ever. If the screening of this program helps stop even one other person from doing the same thing, thus saving another family from going through that hell, then it would be worth it. I do feel sympathy for the man’s parents.
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Shari says
A beautiful piece of writing on a complex issue, Grace. It would be wonderful if compassion and grace (pardon the pun) were universal laws …..
xx
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Miss Cinders says
About 17 years ago my cousin was killed when he fell asleep at the wheel of his delivery van. A year or so later a television show was broadcast that showed the vehicle and crash scene footage from the news report the day of the accident.
My Aunt was watching the show, not knowing that the footage from her son’s fatal accident would be shown. It hit her like it was that day all over again. She had no warning it was going to be used as an ‘educational’ tool to show what driving when fatigued can do… To the shows producers, it would have just been footage to get their message across.
I doubt much thought at all goes into thinking about how the families feel about these kinds of shows. I wonder just how many families are forewarned, or even ask about their loved ones being included in them. You would think some compassion would be shown to them.
I feel for Kim Nguyen, I really do.
MC x
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iSophie says
She would be already reliving the pain everyday in her heart, she certainly does not need the story brought back to the public eye again. Poor lady, I cannot fathom how she manages to cope. #teamIBOT
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Mrs Holsby says
Wow. It’s such a big issue. A very thoughtfully written piece. I’ve said many times that we all know the risks for trafficking in these countries. I would never say they deserve the penalties enforced, because they are undeniably harsh, but we all know the risks.
I could not ever imagine the risk being worth it. There but for the grace of God go I.
Robyn (Mrs D) says
This post has just left me with goose bumps all over my whole body! I don’t think I could watch the show either. I have to say that it is my hugest fear for my children when they grow up and want to leave Australia to travel (which is inevitable). I always joking tell Mr D that when they’r ready to go, they have to sit with me for a whole Sunday and watch back to back episodes of ‘Banged up abroad’ – I need to know that they understand the dangers of making thoughtless mistakes in other countries and that they will phone home first if they need help or money!!
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Veronica @ Mixed Gems says
An amazing and articulate piece of writing, G. Thanks for highlighting this issue.
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Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
Would bringing back this woman’s pain all over again be the best way to highlight the issue, or the best way to get ratings? I can’t begin to imagine what Ms. Nguyen has been through.
As you say Grace, no parent should ever have to bury their child.
I just hope and pray that Bell gets the message, both from us and the media, that taking that kind of risk is never worth it. We can only look after them for so long, but hope that we’ve prepared them well enough. xx
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Emily @ Have a laugh on me says
If it wasn’t SBS then I wouldn’t be watching, but maybe I can learn more, be educated about the world and use this very sad story to make sure I can educate my children. Although I think that parents aren’t always to blame and I’m glad that you have written about this! xx
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Seana - Sydney, Kids, Food + Travel says
Hi Grace, this was a big post to read, I feel awful that I had forgotten this terrible event, though it did make a huge impact at the time of Nguyen’s death. I remember the terrible hangings of other Australian in the 1980’s too, and met one set of parents when I worked at Channel9 – shudder.
I don’t know what the peg for the doco is… if others are aboard with death sentences then that’s important and needs to be shown. I don’t believe in the death penalty at all. I won’t be watching myself BUT I do think that it’s OK for the doco to be shown. Hope the mum doesn’t watch it, I’m sure she won’t.
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Emily says
Thanks for that, Grace. Well written, and something I’m embarrassed to admit I hadn’t considered.
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Lisa Wood says
I havent followed the story, but I couldn’t ever imagined having to visit my son for the last time, and then to have to bury him.
I couldn’t imagine having to re-live it all over again.
So glad that I do not have a TV.
So glad that I would not want to watch it – respecting his very short life would be to make sure that his Mothers wishes are taken into account.
May he be resting for ever more xxx
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Robomum says
I followed this story intently as well. It was heart breaking to see his execution. And then, nothing. No change. Drug trafficking continues every day. I didn’t know about Ms Nguyen’s stance on the airing. So, so sad.
Vanessa @ babblingbandit.me says
A very well written piece Grace. I too won’t be watching the show. I am against capital punishment and it shocks me that our neighbouring countries can kill a drug trafficker yet here in Australia a murderer or rapist can walk out of jail after 8 years or so on parole (depending on circumstances). The difference between the two justice systems are so extreme and I find both difficult to understand.
V.
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Kaz @ Melting Moments says
My heart aches for families in these situations. So tragic in so many ways.
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Lani says
I remember that story so well. I was devastated that it happened and, like many other strangers, I imagine, I cried when they sentenced him. There was no clemency even though he confessed when he was caught and assisted the Singaporean police every step of the way. They didn’t even let his mum give him a hug goodbye. That last bit broke my heart for her.
It is one thing to have harsh penalties for breaking the law, I get that. And Singapore is not the corrupt and muddied legal backwater of many of its Asian neighbours. But it is another to deny even the most basic human need to a person already convicted to die – a final touch between mother and child.
Thank you for writing about this tragic story. I hope it’s never forgotten.
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EssentiallyJess says
I remember this story years ago and it was awful. I’m amazed that they would show it so soon after his death really; seven years is not a long time when you’re talking about the death of a son
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Lee says
I agree with every word Grace. Absolutely heart breaking and wrong. I won’t be watching either. xx
rita says
I heard about Nguyen story just a few weeks ago and then read about all the controversy surrounding it. I totally understand the feeling of the mother… And, today, even the lawyer of Nguyen (he’s a judge now) pleaded to SBS to not screen the series…
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Sam Stone says
I simply can’t imagine what that poor woman must be going through having lost her son. I have two children now and couldn’t survive if something happened to either of them.
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Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
Grace, you have written this beautifully and thoughtfully.
Your writing is a gift.
Leanne x o
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Trish says
A tragic story.
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Leanne Winter says
Thanks for this post, Grace. I won’t be watching the show. The idea of capital punishment turns my stomach and my heart still breaks for this boy and his mother.x
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Bec @ The Plumbette says
This is why capital punishment is so wrong and I don’t believe in it. It really makes me question whether I would want to holiday in these countries when their laws are soo wrong. The poor mother. Thank you for this post.
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Neets says
I’m with Leanne Winter. I remember the story well but wont be watching the show. My thoughts on capital punishment? Disgusting. Two wrongs don’t make a right. I feel for Mrs Nguyen.
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Wendy says
I watched Better Man, it was incredibly heartbreaking and sad. Very respectful towards the family & friends, and didn’t go out to demonise anyone.
Bec | Mumma Tells says
I remember reading this the first time. Beautifully and thoughtfully written. So tragically real.
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Alana says
When I found out that it was his mother’s wish that the program not be shown, I couldn’t watch it either. Unbearably sad.
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Toni @ Finding Myself Young says
I have recently been watching a lot of history related series and I cant believe the things they used to kill people for and how little they regarded other peoples lives. I’m glad we dont have capital punishment here and to be honest I’m too scared to travel to most of the countries that do.
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Pinky Poinker says
I can not watch fictional movies about parents losing their children and would certainly find this too distressing. Great insightful post.
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Min says
I remember this story. It is my belief that capital punishment is very wrong. It is tragic 🙁
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