How engrossed – or dissatisfied – I was with the pursuits in my single life depended on how often I wrote in my diary.
The other day, I came across one of the many volumes – one that I had written during my early-30’s.
It wasn’t actually that long ago*, but a lot has happened since then. It feels like another life-time away.
Just arriving back in Sydney after living many years in fast-paced Tokyo, I was desperately missing my friends and feeling completely lost. Dealing with the trepidation of starting from scratch but without the luxury of time to get to where I wanted to be: a mum and someone’s wife.
So, here I am today. Writing back to that confused self.
*Update: It IS that long ago now…10 years, in fact! God, I’m getting old!!!
*****
Dear single gal Grace,
Marriage. Children. Family.
You’re constantly racing yourself against that blasted biological clock and you’re wondering if all this pursuing is helpless, right ?
But hey. Chill.
Life’s going to be okay. Trust me.
This is going to sound unbelievably crazy, but rather than chase customers all over town for purchase orders; one day you will be chasing two little munchkins up and down the hallway, trying to change their nappies.
Yes, you heard me. T-w-o munchkins.
Honey, you’ve never been one to do things in halves.
Hang on tight to those fabulous girlfriends of yours.
They may be far away, but they are your constants.
They will even be there on your wedding day.
Yes, YOU ! A bride ! Get outta here !!!
In all your jitters and nerves, they will cheer you on as you walk down the aisle.
Despite the distance and the time zones, they will also be there for you when you become a mum.
They will see you beyond your daggy mummy Target tracksuit pants and the pumpkin puree in your hair.
Because they remember you as the fun-loving girl in Tokyo who loved karaoke and hopelessly wore her heart on her sleeve.
Then there is your mother.
Yes, unfortunately, she still nags. Constantly badgering you on all your flaws – like an orangutang picking at nits.
Yet, somehow this complicated, at times volatile relationship finds its way into a somewhat happy medium.
I KNOW ! Shocking, right ?
Guess what ? She’s going to be there during moments of despair; when you’re too tired and exhausted to meet the needs of your own children, she’s going to swoop in. Settling them back to sleep. Waiting beside them in the dark, until she’s certain her job is done.
Surprisingly, not only will you let her intervene, you will actually be thanking her.
Above all, take it easy on yourself.
Switch yourself off from society’s pressure cooker.
Despite what they say, the odds aren’t against you.
So, enjoy what you’ve got now – your solitude, your independence, your freedom.
Keep traveling.
Enjoy the thrill of meeting new people.
Embrace the exhilarating free fall into love and…heartbreak.
For this letter is your safety net.
A steadfast promise that all – family, love, relationships – will fall into its rightful place.
Chin up,
Mama Grace
*****
Resurfacing this ol’ post for some air over at Dr Bron’s Pick a Post.Note, this was written 2 years ago when noone EVER read my blog 🙂
*****
Letting this post out for more cyberspace air with the lovely lizards at The Lounge.
Thanks Robomum for hosting this week!
Patchwork Cactus says
So lovely, I teared. It’s so nice and simple. I have been working on a letter to my 15 year old self, You have inspired me to send it out there into cyberspace. Thanks
Patchwork Cactus recently posted..A Complete Guide to Parenting
Love and Lunchmeat says
This really is lovely. It’s funny how quickly things change, and how our priorities change as we get older. Although life can seem really complicated sometimes, at the end of the day only a few simple things matter.
Love and Lunchmeat recently posted..Half Lives
Lydia C. Lee says
I love that ‘society pressure cooker’ – it is a real thing isn’t it? (should you be working, should you have kids, should you travel – everything comes with a judgement)
Lydia C. Lee recently posted..An Open Letter to the Nation
Robomum says
I adore this post! Tears in my eyes!
These words are golden.
And our mums? I can’t even begin… Thanks for linking.
Robo X
Robomum recently posted..Car Park Rage
Kate says
Lovely! If only we could write to our younger self, how much heartache we could prevent!
Kate recently posted..You can run but you can’t hide
Lani says
Wow, your younger self was so logical and grounded. I can only imagine you shook those sensible strands from your personality and are now CRAZY. But then kids and sleep deprivation will do that to you as well 😉
Lani recently posted..8 sneaky tips to better flights with little ‘uns
Ness says
Loved reading this, Grace. Your two little munchkins are adorable! I don’t know how I’d cope without my Mum, too. And my Dad. They’re awesome Grandparents.
Ness recently posted..An Open Letter To 2013
lady daa doo says
Just beautiful. I wish I could give my younger single self the same words of wisdom and tell her to stop worrying because things will work out just fine.
lady daa doo recently posted..Dear Neighbour with the Hot Tub
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
Just perfect Grace, isn’t it true, that our friends from decades before will still be there when we need them! I must call mine tomorrow – I need some love and she is the best person for that xxx
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me recently posted..A plea to the universe, please heal my dad fast and keep him painfree tonight
Alex@Dadrites says
Yeah, well put! I like that. I did a similar thing this week. It’s good to reflect on who you were, who you are and who you want to be.
Nice work.
Alex@Dadrites recently posted..An Open Letter… to me.
Kim says
I love it. It’s amazing what can change in 10 years hey? Except friends. The real ones just don’t.
Kim recently posted..A letter to me. Before kids. With Warnings.